Can a Relationship Survive Without Intimacy?

05.04.2019

What is the difference between couples who live together all their lives from couples who do not stand the test of fate and break up? Has somebody been lucky to meet a soulmate, while others haven’t met their partners yet? Are the first ones more patient and able to forgive? It is not about luck. The secret of long-term relationships lies in establishing a deep level of intimacy. People who have managed to achieve intimacy in a relationship, which goes far beyond sexual relations will be able to live a happy life together. You know, intimacy is responsible for emotional contact in a couple, deep personal affection of partners at the level of body and soul.

Intimacy is also about the acceptance of a partner with all their advantages and disadvantages, the ability and desire to move on, see only the best in each other, be open, support, trust, and sacrifice. Is intimacy important in a relationship? If you rephrase this question, you may ask, “Can a relationship without intimacy be called healthy?” It’s unlikely. So, if you want to change the situation dramatically, it’s high time to examine this question in detail and try to find a way out.

loss of intimacy in a relationship

What Is Intimacy in a Relationship?

You have already learned a bit about the concept of intimacy in the relationship, but let’s study this issue in greater detail to simplify the process of dealing with it. To understand better what the word “intimacy” hides, let’s look at its main components.

1. Full self-revelation

People are often afraid to reveal the whole truth about themselves to their loved ones because it can make them vulnerable. However, truly deep and strong relationships require 100% trust and acceptance, that’s why it is so important to open up at the very beginning, maintaining clarity to the end. People who are afraid to appear weak and defenseless as well as to lose respect in the eyes of the partners will never know what unconditional acceptance and support are.

2. Willingness to be generous

Generosity is expressed not only in monetary terms, but in many manifestations, for example, it’s about a desire to give, not requiring getting something in return, the willingness to make concessions, forgive, accept, give in, the thirst to share their love, joy, and mutual recognition. In a relationship, you cannot hide pleasant emotions, give love in portions, and close up. Generosity assumes the pleasure of giving joy to a partner. This is a special kind of intimacy in a new relationship.

3. Love touches

The right touch to your loved one can fundamentally change their mood, raise self-esteem, and support in difficult times. If the partner comes home tired, you can make them a nice foot massage. If your beloved woman feels anxiety, then strong hugs and strokes will easily make her relax, contributing to the establishment of real intimacy. Not to mention all the pleasant stages of physical intimacy in a relationship.

4. The element of the game in a relationship

Loans, children, mortgage, 12-hour work schedule contribute to the fact that sooner or later both partners can face a lack of intimacy in a relationship. It can be about joint trips outside the city, dances, bowling, and even role-playing games. Intimacy is to play together, forgetting about the burden, and become a beloved couple again.

building intimacy in a relationship5. Common goals and dreams

The common goal, which forms the notorious “we” contributes to building intimacy in a relationship. When was the last time you planned something together, starting with buying a car or an apartment to a banal weekend vacation or going to an amusement park? Common goals make people closer to each other, they communicate and dream more, share support, learn to understand each other better.

Can a Relationship Survive without Intimacy?

At first, everything is perfect, hormones do their work, and people experience bright emotions. They are looking for what unites them, and revel in a sense of novelty. The mist of pink fog passes away in several months or years. Feelings become dull, and they are replaced by a clear understanding that we are different, we think and feel in a completely different way. A conflict of interests begins as well as a clash of characters. Partners want to change each other, make their partner live by their rules. They are convinced that if they are soulmates, then they should be alike. “Be like me and do what I like!” It sounds selfish, but this is how people behave.

Psychologically speaking, intimacy is the highest degree of openness and sincerity in relationships. The main conditions of intimacy are the ability to accept another person as they are, the ability to open oneself and accept the openness of another with respect and understanding. As well as the ability to listen, to observe the changes and be ready for them. If people face a loss of intimacy in a relationship, they are no longer able to be happy together, so sooner or later they will break up. So, if you ask something like, “How important is intimacy in a relationship?” It’s possible to say that it’s a crucial moment and a guarantee of success.

Effects of Lack of Intimacy in a Relationship

A couple who have been together for a long time and who suffers from intimacy problems in a relationship disperses attention outward instead of focusing on each other. Over time, the partners become cohabitants, who have sex on holidays. And this is fundamentally wrong!

Why do some people decide to break up, while others stay together, no matter what difficulties they have? Love and intimacy imply responsibility and a desire to work for a common future as well as to fight for love even with oneself. Everything does not happen easily, obstacles can occur at any time and everywhere because there are envious people. However, the moment of choice is important: you either defend your happiness with might and main or you give up. And if there is no intimacy in a relationship, then people choose the easiest way and just start living their own lives separately. In addition, they can face the following moments.

  • People can apply criticism to suppress a partner, devalue their thoughts and desires, ridicule feelings, doubt the correctness of their decisions. "Why are you acting so stupid?" "Was I that wrong about you?" "Are you sure you want this?"
  • Demonstration of resentment, aimed at making the partner meet expectations, destroys relationships. "You’ve offended me, so I will not talk to you (make love, smile) until you fix the situation."
  • Imposing guilt feelings on a partner for spoiling the mood with their wrong actions. “How could you do this? Now I feel awful because of you!” “I will be angry with you until you become obedient.”
  • Threats and manipulations to get what you want. "I will leave and take the child if you do not stop hanging out with friends.” “If you don’t want to have sex, then you won’t get the money.”

How to Bring Intimacy Back into a Relationship?

Psychologists confidently say that absolutely everyone can bring back their intimacy. You do not need to have special knowledge of this. It is enough to perform 5 actions, which you might have already practiced, but you have forgotten about them over time.

intimacy in a new relationship1. Bring to the fore your relationship

Naturally, passion has given way to everyday problems over time. However, this process can be paused and changed! Reflect on the following moment, “Have you ever suffered from the thought that your partner has someone or something more important than you?” It could be a best friend, a hobby, a job, a new project, in other words, anything. If something takes your partner a lot of time, then there is a jealous rage, which over time turns into indifference. The lack of interest in the affairs of a loved one and the lack of time spent together, lead a couple to a psychological breakup.

It is necessary to talk with a partner and explain that your relationship needs protection. Remind them of the time when you were together every day. Now, of course, it is impossible to repeat that experience for several reasons, but you can make changes in daily life, returning communication, meetings, and surprises.

2. Return trusting communication

This item shows that each couple has a few similar problems. And one of them is the absence of a trusting dialogue. Even if you communicate with your spouse daily, what exactly are you discussing? Is your every talk about work, children, household problems? These are important questions, but not the only ones. During the period of growing apart, the primary problem of the spouses that should be solved is the lack of a permanent heart-to-heart dialogue.

It is worth turning to past days and remembering how you used to discuss your plans and dreams, their realization and future life. It was a truly sincere dialogue, bringing two people closer together than sex or a common roof overhead.

Another simple way to establish contact is to directly ask the partner what they are missing in the relationship. The answer may surprise or even shock you! Be prepared for something unexpected. However, do not be offended if the partner complains about you. For example, they lack compliments, passionate sex or your approval. If the ability of a loved one to open you is not lost, then the relationship can still be saved.

3. Think about romantic evenings

Very often people complain that they no longer see the person who they once fell in love with. There can be many reasons for that, but the most popular one is the indifference of the partner to their appearance. After a hard day at work, you want to relax and be yourself. However, it is this kind of behavior that keeps a partner away from you: a person who has ceased to watch their appearance dooms erotic feelings to death. How important is physical intimacy in a relationship? It’s very important, and various games can be used to restore intimacy. For example, you can start going on dates with each other! To add spice and eroticism to meetings, you need to imagine that you have just met. The desire to please another person will return to you, and you will again be able to look at each other with the eyes of love. Remember that relationship without physical intimacy cannot be called healthy and happy.

4. Support your partner

In modern society, the idea of the required independence of both sexes is cultivated. Of course, it helps us cope with difficulties. However, this behavior significantly alienates our loved ones. Do not hesitate to ask for advice or help from your partner for any reason. Remember that you are not showing them your weakness, but you demonstrate your interest and trust in them. To support each other is to love, appreciate and accept.

5. Think about common interests

The tastes of partners can change over time, but interests may remain the same. Think about the beginning of your relationship. When you started dating, you probably had a common hobby or a thing that fascinated both of you. And you could spend hours, discussing this and sharing your opinion with another person.

What prevents you from approaching your partner now and discussing with them the thing that both of you are interested in? Considering the tastes of another person and not forgetting about your own desires is an art that not everyone can have.

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