How to Assess Your Stage of a Relationship


How to evaluate a new relationship? According to bestselling author Frederic Beigbeder, love lasts three years. In fact, she can live much longer if the couple manages to overcome the crisis that comes at a certain stage in the connection. What are the stages of a couple's relationship? This love, satiety, disgust, acceptance, respect, friendship, true love.

Stages of a serious relationship

  • Love. How to assess your relationship? The stage of falling in love is often called the candy-bouquet period or the "chemistry of love." What is special about the first stage of a connection? Under the influence of oxytocin, endorphins, and other hormones released into the blood, the couple experiences real euphoria. Lovers see everything in pink and idealize each other. They are ready to spend time together without a break and throw all the world's blessings at their partner's feet. At the same time, people do not notice the shortcomings of each other at all and generously shower their partners with compliments. They are sure that:

  1. partner's flaws are just funny quirks;

  2. they are made for each other;

  3. even the shortest separation is unbearable;

  4. love and violent passion will last forever.

  • Satiation. What happens in the saturation stage? How to conduct evaluating relationships? Gradually, lovers get tired of being together 24 hours a day. They become fed up with each other and show their emotions more restrained. Other areas of life (for example, hobbies) come to the fore. Lovers remember the need for personal space and strive to regain some of their freedom. At this stage, for the first time, they critically consider what is happening, notice their partner’s shortcomings and think about the correctness of their choice. In a couple, the first quarrels and misunderstandings may arise. But slight restraint between partners, the desire to regain personal space, and misunderstanding does not mean that feelings have cooled down. To overcome the crisis that arises at this time and maintain connections, it is important:

  1. conduct a dialogue with a partner and try to study it better;

  2. do not be offended because of the little things;

  3. do not prolong conflicts and look for compromises.

  • Disgust. How to evaluate your relationship? In the third stage of a connection, lovers face serious trials. What is the peculiarity of the third stage of the development of relations? Idealized ideas about a partner are being replaced by reality. The lovers have “cooled down” enough and are able to soberly assess the object of their love. Now his shortcomings come to the surface and piss him off. Unresolved issues also surface. You have new commitment levels in a relationship. Lovers constantly quarrel and make claims to each other. Any little thing can be the reason for a quarrel. The couple has serious doubts about the correctness of their choice. Such thoughts and constant disagreements often lead to the decision to break up.

  • Adoption. Stages of boyfriend girlfriend relationship. Having overcome the crisis and decided to stay together, the couple moves to a new stage in developing a connection - acceptance. What are the characteristics of the fourth stage of a connection? Partners have gone through many trials and are no longer trying to "crush" their beloved for themselves. They learn patience, overcome disagreements more easily, and are able to turn a blind eye to minor flaws in a partner. The couple is increasingly replacing constant scandals and quarrels with dialogues. The lovers are trying to negotiate and find a compromise solution. They strive to come to harmony and comfort, changing themselves, not their partner's outlook on life and habits.

  • Respect. What are the relationship stages? The next stage of a connection that a couple goes through is the development of respect. What happens in the fifth stage of a connection? There is a disinterested desire to do good deeds for the partner. Lovers seek to please their soulmates without expecting anything in return. They learn to respect the beloved for who he is and not for individual character traits or actions.

  • Friendship. What happens to lovers in the friendship stage? During this period, partners forget about all confrontations. They have studied each other well and understand that friendship and teamwork will help build strong relationships. To save love, lovers are ready:

  1. accept the fact that the partner may disagree and have their own point of view;

  2. respect the partner's point of view;

  3. make compromises and negotiate; give each other support.

  • True love. What are the characteristics of the seventh stage of a connection? At this stage, there are no misunderstandings between the couple. Thanks to the patience and daily work, the lovers were able to overcome many obstacles and keep their feelings. Their love is a mature feeling that helps them develop, grow as individuals and solve emerging problems with common efforts. Having reached this stage, partners:

  1. fully reveal themselves to each other and are confident in their choice;

  2. feel like one;

  3. always ready to help each other;

  4. do not seek to subordinate the interests of another person;

  5. do not doubt the ability of the beloved to make a decision.

How to evaluate your relationship with your partner? Connections between two people go through several stages of development. To overcome the path to true love, lovers need to humble their passions and learn to respect their partner. Otherwise, the couple may break up at the first crisis.

 How to Assess Your Stage of a Relationship

When to take the next step in a relationship?

Flirting fills us with emotions that we can't get anywhere else. And when you're about to take the next step in a connection, make sure both parties are ready for it. Of course, it's best to just talk frankly with each other or assessing relationships. But there are indirect signs that indicate that you are already ready for this.

  • You are over-analyzing your posts. One of the indicators that a person is thinking about creating a connection is how much he works on the quality of communication. For example, when a lot of time is spent not to say something superfluous so as not to destroy those relationships that have already been built. This is a sign that you are ready to take the next step.

  • You accept each other's shortcomings. At the beginning of a relationship, as a rule, people are not yet close enough to always feel at ease and sometimes take different steps in a relationship. This is not unusual because the process of "adaptation" to each other has not yet been completed. Over time, the partner always opens up to us from the other side. Therefore, couples often diverge - people simply understand that they cannot accept any shortcomings of each other. If you have already seen your loved one in a normal, not “ceremonial” state, and not as ideal as he wanted to seem at first and accept him, then you are ready to move on to the next level.

  • You have become real friends. How do you assess the present state of your relationship? If you notice that you are in a hurry to share with your loved one, tell him about the joyful and sad events of today; then you are no longer just a couple; you are friends. If you buy something for yourself while remembering your partner and taking something for him, then this can be called caring. Moreover, you suddenly realize that you care about each other, even when you quarrel - try not to say things that can really hurt a person.

Criteria for a healthy relationship

If you can't figure out what stage of the connection you're in and don't know if you're doing well, try asking questions to ask your girlfriend about your relationship. Together you can definitely figure it out. Now let's talk about the signs of a healthy connection:

  • Each of you has your own limits. Relationships in which a man and a woman completely dissolve into each other, and their love is good only for paperback novels and low-budget series. In real life, each of you should have a personal space. Both of you have the right to be alone and to have your personal, not mutual, friends, hobbies, interests, and emotions.

  • Everyone's opinion is taken into account equally. By the way, about interests: they should be equally important - both yours and his. All decisions you make must take into account the opinions of both of you and not just his (or not just yours). And here's another very important thing: you don't confuse respecting your partner's opinion with sacrificing your interests. In other words, if you can't stand his mother and her dacha, you won't hang around there every summer weekend because "well, it's so important to him!".

  • You can spend time separately from each other. The following logically follows from the last paragraph: it is absolutely not necessary for you to be together always and everywhere, like lovebirds. You can quiet not just comfortably but with pleasure and have fun separately, and there is nothing wrong with that. If it seems to you (or your partner) that this is not so, this is a wake-up call: the need to always have a partner “with you” is a violation of boundaries and attempts to control the life of an adult as if he were a child. And this, of course, cannot be called a healthy connection. 

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