He cheated! How can I forget him and not take revenge?

24.03.2023

How to get over a guy who cheated? A person who has been cheated on and found out about adultery lives with this wound all his life. Sometimes the wound hurts more, sometimes weaker, and sometimes a person forgets about it, but nevertheless, this unpleasant experience accompanies him all his life. Practice shows that, in some cases, it is really possible to forgive if he cheated on you. However, often the problem is so acute that couples simply disperse. The most amazing thing is that very often, the person who was cheated on and the person who cheated again repeat their story. That is, the victim again, somehow, finds the "traitor" and again provokes him to adultery. After such events, the victim usually wonders why he cheated on you, but it is more important to understand how to live with it.

How to get over a guy who cheated on you?

• Accept your feelings. Please don't beat yourself up for not being able to magically leave it all in the past and move on as if nothing had happened. Perhaps your husband's infidelity has been the biggest shock in your life so far, and it poses a serious threat to your well-being, so I'm not surprised that the pain keeps coming back and the same thoughts are spinning in your head. And you still can't understand how this monstrous betrayal could even happen. If you and your partner have no contact after he cheated, you need to find a way out of accumulated emotions. Name your feelings out loud instead of letting them rage endlessly somewhere inside - it really helps. Tell yourself, "I feel angry, I'm worried, I'm confused," or something else. You don't have to do anything about these feelings - just acknowledge them. Run it for a few days or weeks, and you will find certain patterns. Believe me: if you notice your feelings, observe them, and do not suppress them, they will gradually weaken and become more manageable over time.

• Work on your thoughts. You need to think less about why he cheated. Many feelings arise as a result of our thoughts. We tend to believe everything that our inner voice broadcasts are the ultimate truth. However, he often exaggerates or combines events from different life situations to provide us with irrefutable evidence that life is over.

• Do not let harmful thoughts poison your life, but for this, write them down when he cheated on you. Write as if your inner voice is dictating to you. And when you write everything, word by word, you will see that there is nothing particularly frightening there. Go back to the beginning of the text and look for exaggerations. For example, you wrote: "I'm so tired of thinking about cheating every day." I would be hooked by the phrase "every day." I think the word "often" reflects reality more accurately. And then you might want to add a few clarifications. And write: “I often think about cheating and sometimes feel exhausted after it, although it also happens that after that, I feel better.” I guess that the latter option is not only softer but also more accurate. Reread the text again and pay attention to “always,” “never,” “should,” “should,” and other words from the category of black-and-white vocabulary.

• Think about what your memories say. You remember how he cheated for a reason; you remember how he says, "I cheated on you." Not because you are a bad person and cannot forgive the betrayal of a partner or do not want to save the marriage, but most likely, your feelings are trying to tell you that some issues remain unresolved and that your relationship needs to be given more attention. For example, your sex life has become too insipid, or your husband is constantly in conflict with your daughter, and you are forced to be torn between them, as if between two fires. If you continue to ignore these warning signals, your unconscious mind will send them over and over again.

• Go back to the diary entries that your inner voice dictated to you. How to get over a man cheating? Once you've filtered out the exaggerations, you're left with a few fairly straightforward tasks. For example, balancing work and home life; go out somewhere together because you have not done this even once in the last couple of months. Since you have already guessed what the memories are telling you, it would be quite logical to take practical steps to solve these problems. For example, turn off your phone after 9 p.m. or book a table at your favorite restaurant.

• Stop waiting for the impossible and move on. No need to take revenge, and imagine how your man says, "I was cheated by you." If a person works as a secretary in the reception, you are unlikely to expect that he will balance correctly or conduct excellent business negotiations. But sometimes you can meet pioneers who expect from their partner some special spiritual subtlety, the ability to be aware of their own and other people's feelings, which in no way corresponds to his upbringing and character traits. In particular, to the question "Why did you need this novel?" in many cases, the answers will be incomprehensible, simply because up to this point, no one has asked a person about motivation. You may be counting on your partner to listen and sympathize even when you get angry, criticize, or shame him when what he needs most right now is to work with a therapist who can get through the shell to the person who is looking for support.

• We tend to see our partners the way we like to see them rather than the way they really are. And yet, for some reason, we are sure that they think exactly the same as we do. Although girls are usually raised differently than boys, the appearance of children affects women and men differently. How to get over an ex cheated? Try to accept in a partner not only his strengths but also his shortcomings. Be aware that there is something impossible for him beyond his strength.

• Get rid of perfectionism. The most destructive of all emotions is a shame. You will feel embarrassed for the recent tantrum or outburst of anger and even more ashamed of yourself for being cheated on and for the fact that you are not good enough. Since this feeling is unpleasant for us, we desperately try to avoid it. The most typical way is to try to be perfect in everything and hope that this will protect us from possible future suffering. We try to be the best for our partner and hope that he, too, will turn out to be the perfect repentant sinner. And I often meet people who paint their relationship before the betrayal as ideal and then doubly angry at the spouse who ruined this whole idyll.

• We cannot be perfect because we are human. How to get over a boyfriend who cheated on you? When we make a mistake or fail to achieve the impossible, we are nonetheless ashamed of it. Returning to the first point, take this feeling in yourself and analyze the thoughts that arise about this. It's certainly worth aiming to be the best version of yourself and your marriage to be the best version of yourself, but please, let's not aim for absolute perfection.

How is revenge on a cheating man?

After a divorce, relationships often always deteriorate between a man and a woman. But, a man experiences this easily and simply and always considers himself right. And, over time, begins to build relationships further, only with a new girl. And the woman, at this time, suffers and cannot so easily survive it all, then she comes up with a plan for revenge. First, you should not start any kind of relationship with his friends or relatives. Better go and change yourself, go to a beauty salon, buy new things, and transform. Your ex will see this and will probably suffer for making such a mistake. Secondly, immediately give up scandals, quarrels, and constant calls to your ex. If you find it hard to resist, delete his number, and delete all his messages so that there is no temptation to call or write. Believe me; a man will eventually want to call you. It will be ideal if you do not pick up the phone the first time. Let him think that you are fine without him. Most importantly, don't go back to your ex. Believe me; this will only get worse. You will not develop yourself; you will not develop relationships. And, later, you will again be caught by the problems that caused you to part.

How to get revenge on someone who cheated on you?

Lying is one of the most common signs of separation between a man and a woman. Over time, she simply destroys all love and tender feelings for each other. If a young man lies to you, lie. Say that you went to your parents, and went to your friend yourself. Say that you are late at work, and go for a walk yourself. This will show the man that he is doing the same, and perhaps he will begin to lie less. If you are tired of your partner's lies, in no case start scandals; believe me, ignoring is the worst thing that can be in a relationship. A man will begin to puzzle over what happened and he himself will understand what he has done.

How to get revenge on a guy for an insult?

The girl always takes everything to heart. Hurt her - it's a simple matter, and no man thinks about the consequences of this kind of resentment. And the girl thinks about how to take revenge on the guy for the insults?

No need to insult a man in return. This, firstly, will show that you are weaker than him, and secondly, you will start a scandal. Be smarter; a calm conversation will infuriate a man more than a scandal. Show your pride. Don't stoop to the same insults as your man. Just ignore it and don't cook dinner yourself, and go to sleep separately. A man will understand that he made a mistake and will apologize. Just be quiet. He will ask something, and you are completely silent or just answer briefly. A man will notice that you are offended and perhaps change the tactics of communicating with you.

Girls can be offended and take revenge. But as practice shows, they cannot do that for a long time. Don't show your weakness; show your pride and strength. This is the best revenge for a girl.

If you are ready to start a new relationship after cheating, then register on GoDateNow. You can also meet a girl in the Girls online gallery section. Also, read Our Dating Blog to learn more about relationships.