Is it true love or just sex, how can you tell?

14.03.2023

How to know if it's true love? According to psychologists, true love is characterized by the same features as friendship - unity of goals, life principles, beliefs, and requirements for each other. Therefore, in fact, it is not so difficult to distinguish passion from love. But to figure out how do you know it's love, let's look at five signs.

• First sign. If in the presence of a partner, you begin to experience anxiety, your heartbeat quickens, and the world around you literally ceases to exist (the reason for this is the inability to focus on anything other than the object of your desire), there are all signs of physical dependence on a person. If even after a few months, these feelings are not replaced by calmness and relaxation in the presence of your chosen one, it's time to sound the alarm; you develop a subconscious dependence on a partner, which is unlikely to lead to something good. Harmonious relationships can only be called those where peace and a permanent sense of security reign.

• Second sign. Do I love him or is it lust? You constantly want to be close to your partner, and even if you have to part, you begin to bombard your beloved with messages asking where he is and what he does. Believe me, total control is a bad way to tie a man to you. Sooner or later, he will get tired of this, and he will deliberately hide his location from you just in order to “win back” at least a little personal space.

• Third sign. Any conflict ends in bed. On the one hand, this is a good opportunity to bring some fire into the relationship. But it is worth sounding the alarm if, in another way, for example, with the help of a constructive dialogue, problems cannot be solved. It's more like a relationship based on sex.

• Fourth sign. Passion develops into addiction at the moment when sex fades into the background, and the need for vivid emotions remains, so you start to inflate conflicts from scratch. For loving couples, everything happens exactly the opposite: after the first months of passion end, smooth and calm relationships begin in which each partner feels comfortable.

• Fifth sign. Love is not sex. An all-consuming passion can sometimes play a cruel joke on you. Due to the fact that you are dependent on your partner and are so afraid of losing "the source of your bright emotions", you begin to forgive impermissible things - rudeness, neglect, and taunts addressed to you. Take note that a truly loving man will never allow himself to offend his other half but rather will try to fuel her self-confidence.

How do you know it's real love?

Here are some signs that you can understand your relationship. Is it just sex or more?

• You don't hesitate to look stupid in front of each other. With tousled hair from sleep, bags under your eyes, and a pillow print on your cheek, you are not afraid that you will fall out of love for not matching your ideal image. Because there is no ideal image. True, feeling a certain amount of shame at the beginning of a relationship is normal. Many of us want to look better than we really are. Subsequently, we understand that we are loved not for the ideal image without any flaws but for real us with all the diseases, extra pounds, and a sudden pimple on the forehead. This is a sign that love has grown into a real feeling.

• You like to make your loved one happy. Cooking your favorite food, washing the dishes, letting your partner be in peace and quiet when everything is tired, such manifestations of care can be more evidence of love than a bouquet of 50 roses. At the same time, it is very important that you sincerely want to take care of your loved one because there is no place for victims in a healthy relationship.

• You discuss a joint future without fear. Where to go on vacation next year, whom to get a cat or a guinea pig, finally, what to name a child, even if he is not yet in the immediate plans. Joint plans are evidence that the partner has become an integral part of your life. This, by the way, is a good way to determine that you are not in a relationship with someone who suits you. Perhaps in 10, 20, and 30 years, your loved one will just throw clothes around and laugh at jokes that you think are not funny. Is it bearable for you, or do you get annoyed? If you are tolerant, then everything will be fine with you. If you tell yourself boyfriend loves me but is not sexually attracted to me, then what plans for the future can we talk about?

• You are honest with each other. Even if because of this you can quarrel. When something doesn’t suit you, you find the courage to talk about it and look for solutions to the problem together. The process can be painful and frustrating, but dealing with mutual grievances as quickly as possible is okay. This is better than accumulating dissatisfaction because later, during some quarrel over a trifling matter, you will remember about your partner all at once flowers that someone did not give to someone, broken promises, and dirty dishes in the sink. Such bouquets of mutual claims can destroy relationships.

• You are not afraid of each other's success. “He will find a new job and have an affair with some young lady,” “She will sign up for the gym and pick up a jock there,” “Does he like me or just want sex?” That’s not what love says, but it hurts pride. A partner is not a means to increase self-esteem, from which you only expect support in your own irresistibility. This is a man with his desires and aspirations. It will change, and it is inevitable. The best thing you can do is support her.

• You know how to find compromises. Compromise is evidence of a mature mind and the ability to listen to other people's opinions. In relationships, there is no need to always go on principle and defend your point of view to the last. Almost any issue can be resolved in such a way that both you and your partner will be satisfied with the result. Dramas for trifles are only good in movies. This is a rather exhausting undertaking that can destroy even strong feelings.

• Together you are better than apart. Of course, each of you has your own free time, friends, and hobbies that no one is going to take away from you. And yet, you sometimes refuse to meet with friends to be with your loved one. The important point is that you do this on your own initiative; no one arranges scenes for you and does not force you to score on friends by hook or by crook. If you feel chained to the battery, then such a relationship is doomed.

• You acknowledge your partner's right to make mistakes. And you also have the right to be wrong. Because you are living people, who are not required to conform to any ideals. Mistakes are inevitable; the question is how to deal with them. In any quarrel, remembering the mistakes made by a loved one is a very bad idea. Most of the mistakes and jambs can be forgiven. However, it's time to end the relationship if your feelings are spit on regularly and with pleasure.

• Sex is not the point. How to know if he loves you or lusts on you? This is certainly a pleasant activity, but besides it, you have many other things to do, no less interesting. Relationships aren't all about sex, and you know that very well. Or if they are, then you have a just-sex relationship. At first, you literally do not get out of bed for days on end; then, intimate life enters a calm channel. This is a natural process; most often, there is no reason for concern; no one has stopped loving you; it’s just how relationships develop.

• You respect your partner, and he respects you. Respect is the foundation of a healthy relationship. You know how to take into account the feelings and thoughts of a partner and do not set goals in any situation to have the last word. Love is not a story about who is right and who is wrong.

Does he love or lust for me?

• When a woman is serious, she wants to delay sex. It's understandable why to rush things when you can enjoy romance. But how will a new friend deal with "wait"? You can tell a lot from his reaction. Is he trying to change our minds? Does he want to convince us to have sex? Then it “smells” like just entertainment. You should take these warning signs seriously and save your feelings.

• Our body has a lot to say, even if we don't want to. By some gestures and behavior, you can easily see how a man treats us. Does he look into your eyes for a long time? Does he have a positive facial expression when telling stories? Does he contact you? Is he looking to connect with you? If you can answer yes to all of these questions, then congratulations. If not, then observe other aspects of his behavior.

• How long does lust last in a relationship? A charming blonde walks past you, watching his reaction. Does he turn around, or does he just keep looking at you? If he continues philosophizing about his favorite movie, he is in love. But if he turns around or loses the thread of the conversation, then only the original excuse will help him. Lust and passion in a relationship can last for different durations in vase couples. But what can be said for sure is that if the partner is not interested in you, then the passion will not last long.

• How sex feels when you're in love? When this is true love, then sex turns into a process of endless giving of love and pleasant sensations. When you are in love with a partner, then there is no place for selfishness in sex, and this is the main difference. The partner wants to give you pleasure and you, in turn, want him.

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