Moving Too Fast in a Relationship - Why Is It Not Good?

23.01.2020

The faster you go – the harder you crash… or something like that. In the heat of passion, we are ready to give it all away for the person we love, this passion is the strongest drug in the world with no alternative to it. You just want to hug a person and never let them go. But, as the practice shows, this is not always the way things should go, as you can end up going too fast and crashing into the wall of realization, you don’t really go together all that well.

when is a relationship moving too fast

Is Moving Too Fast in a Relationship a Bad Thing?

There is no right answer to the question: how fast should your relationship develop? Some couples prefer to delay moments of intimacy, gradually drawing closer to each other, while others act on the principle of "all at once." It all depends on your personal preferences and inclinations.

Is moving too fast in a relationship a bad thing? As you will come to realize after reading this article, generally, this is a bad thing. A slower and more careful approach to establishing a serious relationship will be more effective at building one. However, several universal signs will show the active progression of your relationship. Let’s now talk about the signs of relationships that are moving too fast.

How to Know If a Relationship Is Moving Too Fast

Here are the signs that your relationship is moving too fast.

You have chosen the names of future children but haven't yet met each other's parents

Here’s the first of the signs a relationship is moving too fast. If you have already begun to talk about such important and serious topics as family, children and a joint future, it's time to get to know each other better. It seems that your relationship is moving to a new, more serious stage. Invite your partner to dinner with parents, and then drop by a visit to their parents yourself. Getting to know their relatives will bring you and your partner closer together.

You have only been together for a few months, but it seems that you have known each other all your life

What is considered moving too fast in a relationship? Half of your things have already moved to their house, you are together every weekend - alone or in the company of friends and have already managed to go on your first joint vacation. Your relationship is developing at a good pace - this means that you complement each other perfectly and feel like one team. And if your partner doesn’t seem to respect your desires to slow things down, consider a breakup. Don’t forget about the scale of the online dating market, how many sites, apps, and services there are.

You start ignoring your family and friends

Love absorbs all your thoughts. You no longer have time for your parents, and between meetings with your friends and dates with your partner, you, without hesitation, choose the latter. This is a clear sign of a toxic relationship. Understand your fear of losing a partner and try not to let the phobia destroy your new love affair. There is no need to lie in relationships, if their desire to get to know your parents comes too soon, then tell them about it.

You dramatically rebuilt your life because of a new partner

Are you worried about your relationships with your girlfriend, do you feel like she is moving too fast in a relationship? The more you date, the more you share interests and hobbies, and your habits gradually change during your life together. It’s natural. But if after a week of dating you decided to quit your dream job and move to your partner’s hometown, there is a risk of becoming very disappointed in this decision over time. Appreciate what you like and stay true to your ideals and values. Relationships should develop your personality, not destroy it.

You quickly build collaborative plans

As soon as you start a conversation about having a date, the partner already offers you several options that they've already thought of. You have practically no disagreements when you decide where to go on the weekend, what you will order for dinner, and what kind of comedy you will watch before going to bed. how fast is moving too fast in a relationshipThis is a good sign of mutual understanding among partners, but this also means that you are too focused on pleasing your partner and forget about your desires and needs. You want to make them feel happy, and you forget about some healthy egoism in the process.

You are discussing the likelihood of a wedding, but have not tried to live together

Is my relationship moving too fast? How fast is moving too fast in a relationship? Well, if you start discussing your wedding just after a few weeks of dating, then yes, it does. Living together is a crucial step, a kind of “test” of future living together. Before you bring the papers to the registry office and prepare for the wedding, try to move in together and see how your relationship will develop. If you have no doubt that you are ideally suited to each other, you can proceed to the next stage.

You are afraid that your partner will get tired of you soon

You have only been together for a couple of months, but you are already haunted by the feeling that the partner is not interested in spending time with you. Talk with your partner and try to find out what their untimely apathy is associated with.

You both know that everything happens too fast, and it suits you

When is a relationship moving too fast? It doesn’t matter when your first sex happens and at what moment you decide to move in together - after 5 years or two weeks. If you and your partner feel comfortable, then you are, most likely, fine. Take care of your choice and appreciate the feelings of each other. But, keep in mind that these decisions are risky, and the more you know the partner – the better for your future relationships.

Now that we are aware of how to know if a relationship is moving too fast, let’s see the real dangers of such a scenario of the development of relationships.

Real Dangers of Falling in Love Fast

Are relationships developing too fast? You met each other three weeks ago, but are you planning to live together? Do you dream how you will grow old, bring up grandchildren, start a house with a garden? Would you like this man or this woman to be with you for the rest of your days? This means one thing. Relationships, or rather, their participants - you and your loved one – are running too fast. There are three main dangers of such a scenario of the development of relationships.

1. Do you have time to get to know your partner?

Having time to consider who you've fallen in love with is still extremely important. However, if the relationship develops fast - then the probability is high that you simply do not have enough time. Your relationships can interfere with the following aspects of your life:

  • professional life (no one has canceled the work),
  • other relationships that are important to maintain (friends, family),
  • domestic issues that must be addressed,
  • fatigue, oversaturation of information (it would be good to divide it into small pieces - to be assimilated, this also applies to information about the partner).

In parallel, “doubts” and thoughts like “what kind of relationship do I want exactly?” will remain in your head and won’t make it easier for you to live.

2. The trap of illusions

The information that we get away from a person that is next to us should be straightforward and speak for itself, but you two are in the heat of passion. They use kind words and feel like they are ready to give it all away just to live by your side, and you believe in these words and imagine the future together that is brigth and excellent. Thus, you don’t have a clear image of the person that you love, but rather a set of fantasies.

They can be of several types:

  • negative (your fears creep into assumptions about a partner),
  • positive (“they are wonderful!” - similar conclusions are made, based on one-time events or single facts),
  • from your desires (“they want what I need,” “they listen to me,” “I am sure that it is very important for them, this will not change”),
  • for business reasons (“I will do this thing, they will do that thing, we are strong together!” “We will support each other,” “We will start a business/build a house together”).

3. Disagreements

Alas, you can agree on a lot of things, and only rare, very rare disagreements in the domestic life or matters of habits are generally irreconcilable. In other cases, couples that form too quickly enter into a relationship at a very high speed, at first, they diligently do not notice disagreements and inconsistencies, and they end up hitting them afterward. You are used to thinking that your partner is one way, and your partner ends up being completely different. This happens once, twice, three times. Sooner or later, fatigue from discrepancies, irritation, misunderstanding spills out in the form of conflict. This, in general, might not have happened if both participants in the new alliance had not flown headfirst into relationships and retained a gradual approach to establishing something serious and long-term-oriented.

Tips on How to Avoid Relationship Moving Too Fast or Slow It Down

How to avoid relationship moving too fast and how can you slow them down. Sometimes it may seem to you that relationships are developing too quickly emotionally or physically. It is important not to forget that the main thing in a relationship is a mutual agreement between partners. You do not have to put up with circumstances to please a companion. If you want to bring harmony to the relationship, you should talk with your loved one and explain to them exactly what you want.

Evaluate the situation

My relationship is moving too fast, what should I do? First of all, highlight those aspects that are developing too quickly. Identify the moments or actions of the partner that cause inconvenience. If you want to slow down the development of relationships, you need to understand why they are developing too fast. Perhaps you feel the need to hear the desires of your partner. Maybe they are interested in developing the physical aspect of your relationships, but such a turn does not suit you. when is a relationship moving too fastPerhaps the partner requires from you something that you are not able to give. Or the partner is too pressured, and you want to gradually open your feelings. On the other hand, perhaps you should slow down your feelings. It may be a shock to you to realize that it is you who has fallen in love with a partner too quickly. A request to slow things down may come from your partner. In this case, try to respect their desire.

Discuss the situation. Tell your partner about your feelings

Are you afraid that you are falling in love fast? Talk about it. Explain what exactly causes you discomfort, and also try to reveal the reasons why you feel this way. Make sure that they understand your interest in continuing the relationship and your desire to slightly slow down. If the partner understands what exactly the source of such feelings is, then it will be easier for them to change their behavior and create a more comfortable environment for you. You may realize that a frank conversation makes your relationship easier. You cannot expect specific actions from a partner until you ask for it.

Try to be on the same wavelength as your partner

Two people do not always start relationships with the same expectations. The companion may not even be aware of what causes you discomfort. You may find that you live in different realities when you commit actions incomprehensible to a partner. The search for mutual understanding and determination of the direction of the movement of relationships is what will help cope with this problem.

Do not force your partner

Perhaps the time has come to break up if you cannot seem to agree in a personal conversation. It is unfair to force a partner to act according to your scenario, but it is also wrong to live in fear of losing them. Sometimes you need to take a step back and focus on your own experiences before plunging headfirst into a serious relationship. Think about the need for a break. Parting with a partner will not slow down the development of relationships but will lead to their complete halt. Do not be afraid to act if you feel that you have no choice.

Try to discuss your relationship from a different perspective

Consider whether you are comfortable in these relationships if you find yourself making far-sighted plans and are used to the words "I love you." Try to consider short-term desires and plans. Before planning a relationship for years to come, decide on the next few months.

Take time for yourself

Do you feel like you are falling in love too fast? If you forgot what it is like being yourself and doing the things you love – you are falling in love too fast. It is very easy to feel overwhelmed if you do not have personal space. This does not mean that you should break off the relationship, just spend a little time yourself each day to be able to think about life and distract from your partner. So, you will understand that a direct assessment of your "I" makes you feel much better in a relationship and helps control it. Spend time with friends without your partner. Do not forget about friendship, even if you are dating someone. Your partner should not be around you at all times.

Try not to sleep together

You should neither have sex with your partner nor invite them to your place for the night. Everything becomes much more serious when you start sleeping in the same bed, especially when it becomes a habit. The closer you get, the closer your lives are intertwined. The same goes for living together. Living together, especially if one of you is not fully aware of what is happening, makes things much more serious. Consider moving relationships to the next level.

Communication between you is a key factor in the success of your relationships. If the partner does not understand the abnormalities of their actions, then they can take actions that are unacceptable to you. Do not stay with a person if you have completely different goals in life. You can always meet a more suitable candidate.

Comments (1)

 
Sonia
I had relations that developed too fast. We didn’t have time to get to know each other well enough, and as a result, our relationship ended because of the mismatching of our life goals.
17.07.2020 09:18

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