How to Have a Perfect Coffee Shop Date

11.07.2023

How long should a coffee date last? In magazines, on the Internet, and television, we are told that the key to a long-term and happy relationship is the complete spiritual similarity of two lovers. This is true: the similarity of characters, attitudes, and tastes is an excellent basis for a strong relationship. But this is by no means the only factor that matters in a romantic relationship. Modern psychology provides an answer to this important question.

What to do on a coffee date? It often happens that environmental factors have a significant impact on the outcome of a first date.

Coffee date tips

• Coffee is better than ice cream. Even though going to an ice cream parlor is one of the most common ways to spend a first date, it can be detrimental to your future relationship. Researchers say it's better to drink hot coffee with your partner. People often use the same words to express physical sensations and psychological feelings (for example, the expressions "cold welcome" and "hot hearted"). This made me think about whether physiology can influence the attitude toward a person. It was decided to conduct an experiment. Participants were asked to read a character description of one person (“smart, agile and considerate”) and then asked about their first impressions of that person regarding their positive and negative traits. However, much more interesting is what happened before the start of the experiment. On the way to the research lab, each of the participants was met by a researcher who had a mountain of papers and a drink in his hands. The subject was asked to hold the drink. For half of the participants, it was hot coffee, and for the other half, it was cold. As a result, those who held hot coffee at the end of the experiment said that judging by the proposed characteristic, the described person is warm, pleasant, friendly, and loyal. And those who had to hold iced coffee in their hands turned out to be of a different opinion: the person seemed to them less pleasant and inviting. This method is well worth taking note of. If you or your partner doesn't like coffee, you can replace it with hot tea or cocoa. You'll see your first date will be warm and cozy. But don't forget the coffee date etiquette.

• Copy behavior. If you pay little attention to your posture, facial expressions, and gestures, then you are doing it in vain. Scientists have shown how important these components are in any communication, especially on a first date. This can affect how much you like the person with whom you want to start a relationship. In the experiment, previously unknown boys and girls participated in pairs. They were instructed to take turns describing to each other what was shown in the photographs provided to them. However, unbeknownst to the participants, the second person in the pair was one of the researchers' assistants. In the first case, this figurehead had to copy the behavior of the person who heard the meaning of the photograph, and in the second case, he had to behave naturally and use facial expressions and gestures at his own discretion. At the end of this task, the subjects had to evaluate how much they liked the interlocutor and whether he coped well with conveying information. As expected, the people whose behavior was copied said that the communication went very smoothly and the information was learned well. Others had a completely opposite opinion. It should be said that copying the gestures and posture of the interlocutor works only when he is unaware of your insidious plans. This will be good advice for a coffee shop date.

• Agree with the interlocutor and nod. The best time for a coffee date is the time that is convenient for both of you, but how to behave on a date? Some non-verbal means of communication sometimes mean more than speech itself, and nodding your head is not as simple a gesture as it seems at first glance. Scientists conducted an experiment and found that people who nod seem 40% more attractive than those who do not. The one who agrees with the words spoken by the interlocutor and nods his head receives more sympathy, disposition, and tolerance in his address - both external and internal features. And vice versa: a constantly disagreeing interlocutor, shaking his head from side to side, risks making his date with this partner the last one. You need to remember that you should not overplay and be in agreement with absolutely any statement - do not start a relationship with a lie. A coffee date means you are just getting to know each other, and making an excellent first impression is essential.

• Coffee date ideas. People very often underestimate the significance of their feelings. Would you think that in a situation of emotional arousal, your state can be interpreted as sexual desire? According to research, sexual arousal appears much more often in cases where a person experiences strong emotions. Sometimes these emotions can be anxiety, worry, and even affect. In their study, scientists somewhat expanded the boundaries of this theory. How the experiment went: an attractive girl approaches a man while they are crossing the bridge and asks him to take a short survey. After the man completed it, the girl wrote her name and phone number on a piece of paper and gave it to him under the pretext that he would like to know about the results of the survey. The manipulation in this situation consisted of the fact that bridges of different heights and, accordingly, dangers were selected for different cases. In some cases, men crossed rather unsafe, swinging bridges; in others, the bridge was low, and there was no risk of drowning. The authors of the study tracked how many men called back on the specified number and which bridge they crossed. Since the level of interest in the results of the survey for both experimental conditions will be the same, the reason why the men called the girls was that the lady seemed sexually attractive to the man. The results showed that almost all subjects who crossed a dangerous bridge and experienced emotional arousal called back the number given to them. It seemed to the men that the butterflies in their stomachs were connected with a slight crush on the mysterious girl and not with the fear of falling off the bridge. In addition to the coffee meeting etiquette, you also need to add spice to your date that will help your partner remember you.

So, now you know how to succeed on a first date, create a warm atmosphere over a cup of coffee, listen and look closely at your partner and do something original and memorable.

After registering on GoDateNow, you can start getting to know different potential partners. Here you can start chatting with different people and when you are ready you can make a date. This way you can save time and not necessarily go on dates with people who are not suitable for you. Meet a girl in Girls online gallery. And in Our Dating Blog, you can learn more about online dating and communication, as well as how you can build healthy relationships even at a distance.