Common mistakes in relationships
01.12.2020
Love and dating are not always easy. Sometimes it takes extra endeavors keeping your relationships afloat. It is even harder when you do not get support from your partner (which is a sturdy indication of an upcoming end). From this article, you are going to learn about common and most frequent mistakes made in relationships. As well, we will try to provide you with simple yet efficient methods of avoiding such slip-ups. Our aim is to help you create healthy and strong relationships!
- Miscommunication. The most common mistake in terms of relationships is miscommunication, which also involves various supportive and consequential problems. No matter how diligently popular tabloids and the television is trying to prove that telekinesis exists, a human is still not able to read minds. This idea raises a question – why do people pretend that a partner understands their silent demands? It does not work this way. A relationship concept itself is built on talking and listening. Therefore, if you have something to say, do not wait for a partner to understand you without articulating your problems and complaints. Women make this particular mistake more often. However, a big percent of men remain mute about their feelings as they suggest words to be not mannish thing. Furthermore, a man would accumulate anger and disappointment for decades and then burn up from the inside. How can you overcome this issue? The solution is easy – talk to your partner. Tell her about your thoughts and feelings and listen to her patiently.
- Hyperbolized expectations. Everyone grows older and gets smarter, but one feature never leaves our minds. Dreams and expectations can be an inspiration for life. Girls and boys dream about ideal relationships, and adults transfer these nervous expectations into their lives. Sometimes expectations affect your partnership negatively. How does it happen? Look at a common example. A woman expects her partner to always be in good mood and act cheerfully. When she finds out that it is not possible, a huge disappointment strikes her. She starts looking for the way out of these relationships, becomes passive-aggressive and, in the end, swiftly causes estrangement and a break-up. Men often expect their partners to never grow older. And when her skin is not that elastic as it used to be, men often try to initiate a divorce. These examples are terrible exaggerations, of course, but you get the point. How can you overcome this problem? Be realistic. From scratch, put this idea in your pipe and smoke it. Human beings are not perfect. However, their imperfections make them beautiful. Remain indulgent and smart. Likewise, throw all your expectations away! Your woman can be better than you dare to imagine!
- Losing a romance. It is a well-known fact that girls love men to be romantic. Flowers, dates, strolls, intimate dinners – the list of passionate gestures is nearly limitless. However, both men and woman suggest a romance being an excessive luxury after settling down. Sex becomes a routine, romantic acts are no longer needed and can be postponed to important dates like anniversaries and birthdays. Not that you will not have any fun along the way, but you need to remember it takes a focused effort to be romantic with your partner. How can you improve the situation? Be creative. A Sunday breakfast in bed sets a positive tune for the whole day or even week. A small bouquet of roses can make her the happiest person in the whole world. Likewise, do not forget to be inventive in bed. It includes both yours and her involvement. Sex is a constituent part of family life. The absence of it or an impassive approach can create a huge gap between your couple and happiness.
- Control freaks. Unstoppable attempts to control the life of your woman makes her feel devastated and enslaved. It includes financial control, total control of actions, distrust etc. Her tolerance is not endless and one day she runs away from you – and no one would even judge her. How can you get rid of this habit? Well, there is only one proper tactic – get used to believing her. Your trust means a lot to her. She will reward you with a boundless love and respect. As well, if you rely on her, she readily answers with reciprocal reliance. Your relationships become stronger in an atmosphere of mutual confidence.
Mistakes men make in relationships
Unwillingness and inability to listen to a partner
It is one of the main mistakes men make in relationships. Men are not inclined to lend a sympathetic ear to ladies, especially when it comes to imperative issues of family life, making important decisions, and discussing relationship problems. It seems to men that such "chatter" is worthless, that it is full of excessive emotions. But the point is just in emotions that always go along with the female thought process. Therefore, it is necessary to let them come out with the words, but not to boil inside your beloved woman. If this happens, there will be a quarrel. Most men do not take this into account. Besides, if a guy listens to a beloved woman inattentively, she perceives this as a sign of her low value and disrespect of the man.
Criticism
Probably any psychologist working in the field of family relations will tell you that reproaches and criticism, mixed with irritation, are the main male mistakes in relationships.
In general, criticism is one of the most damaging ways people interact with each other. And it is about non-constructive criticism. For example, when a partner points out a girl’s mistakes but does not offer any problem solution and just goes into personals, looking for and fomenting the shortcomings of the beloved woman and belittling her. Constant criticism, merciless blame games, and irritation can indicate that a relationship has long been bursting at the seams. In case you are disgruntled with something and have the intention to express this to your loved one, you should do it constructively.
Rudeness and anger
It is another relationship-damaging mistake. Rude and abusive behavior, accompanied by irritation and anger, humiliates and scares women. If a man shows anger and rudeness, then on an unconscious level, a girl perceives such an attitude as a danger to herself and her children. Consequently, she tries to escape such toxic relationships or resorts to protective behavior, for example, responding to offensiveness with aggression. Family scandals most often increase because of mutual rudeness and anger that have a destructive effect on romantic relationships.
Common female mistakes in relationships
Self-sacrifice
This is the greatest relationship mistake ever. It so happened that almost every girl is ready to engage in self-sacrifice at some point in life. It is a kind of feat: to stop a herd of wild horses, to rush into a burning building for a kitten? Sure thing! Give up career and communication with friends for the sake of a beloved man? Not a problem at all! “Preserving the family hearth is one of the main missions of a woman, so forget about personal interests,” – it is frightful to think, but this stereotype has already ruined the lives of more than one hundred thousand girls.
Today, psychologists say that the tendency to self-sacrifice is one of the clearest signs of low self-esteem. Some even consider this to be a form of addiction. The solution to the problem is not to focus solely on a boyfriend. Respect yourself and your personal boundaries. Spend enough time on your favorite hobby (even if it's Sudoku or watching your favorite TV show). Thus, you do not waste time in vain but receive a charge of positive energy and grow both in your own eyes and in the eyes of your spouse.
Forcing events
Quite often, women who have been waiting and looking for their love for a long time, meet a more or less pleasant man and mistakenly regard him as "the one and only". Accordingly, a woman displays great activity because of which her man involuntarily begins to feel not a hunter, but a prey that they want to get at all costs. This violates all the basic laws of nature, according to which, it is the male who should take the first steps in communication with ladies. Moreover, the man himself begins to feel extremely uncomfortable and uninteresting in a relationship with such a woman. Therefore, if her enthusiasm runs high (this can be expressed in anything: frequent calls, meeting requests, urgent attempts at rapprochement, etc.), most likely, the man will just want to go into reverse.
Constant control
Men hate it when women encroach on their freedom. And if you start doing this at the very beginning of your relationship, a guy can easily get scared and simply run away. So, never tell a man what to do or how it will be better to act. Do not start a telephone conversation with the words: "Where are you?" and do not try to replace all the friends or mom for your new boyfriend. Each of you should have a personal space.
How to avoid making mistakes in relationships
The easiest and most effective way to avoid relationships mistakes is to talk with each other. That is, communicate, ask questions, and discuss everything that worries and bothers you. After all, honesty and straightforwardness is the best way to mutual understanding in relationships. It is also very important not to become reserved in your fears and doubts. You should learn to share with your partner what you have on your mind. Thus, you will avoid most relationship mistakes and live happily!
