Common Mistakes People Make In Relationships

17.05.2023

What to do when you make a mistake in a relationship? Are you sure you know everything about relationships and .... Boom! He goes into the sunset, slamming the door, and she stands and thinks: “How so, it was still good! Why did he leave? Women are often under the illusion that their relationship with a partner is perfect, and the unfortunate man has actually already howled in despair and is considering an escape plan. It so happens that a woman, without realizing it, builds relationships according to a scenario that was once established and does not notice that she repeats the same mistake every time, perhaps not even once, which will ultimately lead to separation.

Mistakes people make in relationships

• To think that the partner will not go anywhere. In such a situation, a woman devalues the connection and is dominated by the attitude “a partner is an extension of me,” “he belongs to me, so I can control him.” Not really. Despite the fact that people in a couple are together, they are together in good faith. Your partner's feelings, intentions, and plans for your union may change.

• Think that your partner will leave you. In close connections, partners need a sense of mutual trust and security. Often, these feelings do not appear by themselves due to a dysfunctional childhood experience or difficulties that a couple has managed to endure. And then one of the partners (or even both) begins to bully the other with his distrust, forcing him to convince himself over and over again: “Everything is fine, you are safe, I will not leave you.” This is an absolutely unbearable burden - no one can create a sense of security and trust in another person; this is internal independent work. And if a person does not do it for himself but puts it on the shoulders of a partner, the latter can really get bored with it, and, having become exhausted, he will want to leave the connection. In general, making mistakes in relationships is okay, but you also need to work on your mistakes.

• Neglecting sex is one of the most common relationship mistakes. Sex is a connection barometer. It is this sphere that shows whether everything is in order with you, whether you are together, and whether you are close enough. Sex is one of the irreplaceable whales that make a couple a couple. The fact that problems and discontents arise between people during life, as they move away from each other, are completely normal process. But it is very important to be able to bring it to the surface to discuss and solve problems, including sex. If partners do not satisfy each other's sexual needs, they look for how to satisfy these needs with other people. It hurts the connection a lot. Do not bring it to this; keep your finger on the pulse, measure pressure in a timely manner, and immediately solve problems that arise.

• Hiding problems. Marriage is a conversation. A strong and stable marriage is not one where there are no conflicts; such things do not happen at all; we are living people. A strong marriage is one where partners can talk. Suppose people in a couple expect that “somehow it will resolve itself” and that there is no need to aggravate the problem with discussions. In that case, the connection itself will most likely resolve itself. A heart-to-heart talk works wonders and really promotes the couple. In fact, confusing problems are common mistakes in relationships.

• Lack of communication. There is an important zone in a couple - the “we” zone. And each couple needs to work on filling it out. What connects us besides a common living space and caring for children? Why are we interested together? What do we like to do together? What positive emotions do we feed our connection with? These are all essential questions, and if you find the answers to them, you will build a strong and happy connection.

• Secrets, secrets, skeletons in the closet. How to stop making mistakes in a relationship? If the partner has a closed topic and does not let her in, the second partner begins to accumulate anxiety and tension. If you have some kind of painful topic for you, instead of hiding it from your partner and experiencing it alone, you can share, ask for support and lean on your partner. It brings you closer. Secrets and inconsistencies divide.

• Constantly adjust to your partner. Mistakes we make in relationships. In addition to the “we” zone in a connection, each partner also has an “I” zone. The formula for healthy connections is to be able to be together, in contact with each other, share our resources in meeting each other's needs, and at the same time be autonomous and take care of ourselves. This is not easy, and this is what a couple learns all their lives - to be together and at the same time remain themselves. If you constantly adapt to your partner, the one who adapts accumulates anger, which sooner or later will bomb. And the one to whom they adapt does not really respect the partner and does not appreciate him. In this case, a healthy connection is impossible.

• Bad experiences in previous connections. Suppose people met not “from scratch” but already with experience, history, with previous relationships. In that case, it can be incredibly difficult for them to accept this previous alien experience of their loved one. And omissions, concealment of information, and resentment begin. On the contrary, it is necessary to make this part of your life open and transparent for your partner to show that it is safe here. And the partner needs to learn to respect the partner’s previous experience, not to fight with him, not to compete, but to accept him as part of the life of a loved one.

When you make a mistake in a relationship, it's okay. You need to work on mistakes, and in connections, you need to talk to and trust each other. It is very important to learn to understand and accept each other, but this is exactly what the path to a healthy connection looks like.

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