How to Overcome Doubt in a Relationship
How to overcome doubt in a relationship? Situations when there are doubts in a relationship are very common, especially when it comes to relationships between a man and a woman.
Doubt is a state in which a person cannot make a decision due to the lack of some data or cannot understand the intentions of another person. For example, a woman may doubt the feelings of her lover because he does not show any feelings she expects. Or maybe she herself doubts her feelings for him while trying to conduct an introspection of her feelings in an attempt to figure it out on her own. Or vice versa, a man may wonder why, instead of going on a date with him, she goes to meet her friends. Or maybe he himself doubts that he really wants a long-term relationship with this particular woman.
In society, there is now a rather easy view of love, family, and relationships, and people begin to meet only in order not to be alone and to have someone to spend time with, but at the same time, no one looks into the distant future, comforting himself with the hope that everything will be good of course. But, as a rule, it rarely happens that everything goes like clockwork, and pretty soon, doubts begin, leading to self-flagellation. Therefore, it is important to learn how to overcome doubt in a relationship.
Such situations devour attention and raise a bunch of questions that the one who has doubt in a relationship cannot answer for sure. Moreover, bewilderment and dissatisfaction arise from the other side when trying to clarify the situation since such clarifications are taken as distrust. And then, an internal analysis of the situation begins, and a “squirrel in the wheel” appears, which does not give rest, bringing spiritual discomfort, and the fear of losing at least what is, stops sincere conversations. And not everyone is able to maintain sincere conversations since sincerity implies the absence of any secrets or hidden intentions that people usually try to hide.
Why do I doubt my relationship?
In fact, feeling doubts in a relationship does not arise from scratch, and if this feeling is present, it is no accident. Convincing yourself that it will pass and that it “seems” is pointless because it will not go away on its own. Something needs to be done about this; otherwise, this doubt can continue not only for many months but also for years.
One thing is for sure - doubts arise when something is hidden, and this secret, as a rule, is felt at some intuitive level, and something can be hidden not only from another person but also from oneself. It may be that the true intentions with which the relationship was created do not match what is being flaunted at all. For example, a girl might be dating a guy who really wanted a relationship just to numb the pain of a previous relationship, or to get sex, or for some other reason, of which there could be a thousand. Moreover, even in the above example, in the end, the guy may even forget about why he really created the relationship, and this will lead to attacks on his part against the girl for “mercilessly taking out his brain.” Some even can cohabit with each other for years, pretending that everything is fine, that it should be so. But myself think that I have doubts about my relationship.
How to stop doubting your relationship? When there is any doubt in a relationship, it is pointless to try to find a solution solely in your mind. It is useless to “work through” this because no matter how hard you try to find explanations or justifications for the situation until you get all the necessary data both from within yourself and from outside, the situation will continue to exist and cause suffering. And it is important to understand that the longer this situation lasts, the harder it will be to resolve it in the future because the truth remains further and further in the past. It becomes more and more difficult to unearth it. Therefore, at the very beginning of doubt, you need to take immediate action.
How to deal with doubt in a relationship?
Doubts do not arise in a vacuum. A person falls into doubt when he is not sure of his feelings or the feelings of his beloved. Is it normal to have doubts in a relationship? If you are not sure about your feelings, it is very important to understand yourself. Remember why you created the relationship. Perhaps you were driven by some idea to prove something to someone or to drown out the pain of a failed previous relationship. Look at the situation with an open mind, without trying to justify your actions with any explanations. Be an impartial and independent observer of your actions, and look at the facts. For example, if you are a man and you only entered into a relationship because you felt desperate and alone after being dumped by someone, then, of course, it can be frustrating for you to realize that the real reason for creating a relationship is not to love. It is important not to blame yourself for this but simply to acknowledge the fact that you made a mistake. That is, it is important to find your mistake and admit to yourself that you made it. If you have found the real reason for doubts, then they will immediately stop for you, and it will become clear what to do next. If doubts are not gone, you need to continue to look for an error.
How to remove doubts in a relationship? If you doubt the feelings of another person, then there is nothing left but to sincerely talk to him without accusing or trying to twist his arms. Be prepared for different scenarios, but remember that no matter how unpleasant the outcome may seem, if everything falls into place and doubt goes away, life will quickly get better. Therefore, speak sincerely, without accusations, calmly. Tell us about your feelings and experiences, and if you meet with understanding, then most likely, you have nothing to worry about. In this case, help your chosen one unravel their own thoughts and find the real cause of the doubt. If you run into furious accusations in response to sincerity, be sure that they want to hide something from you. And if the next attempt to enter into dialogue has failed, in order to get out of doubt, you will have to make an independent decision. And in this case, the answer to the question that it is normal to have doubt in a relationship is no.
What to do if youre questioning your relationship?
If there is a feeling that there is no proper trust in the relationship, then it makes sense to dig in two directions:
What am I afraid of in this relationship? What happens if this fear comes true? What does this say about me? How will I treat myself, then? What do I need to change in myself to stop being afraid? What am I missing in myself to let go of these fears?
What is my partner afraid of? How do I provoke this fear? What will change if I think and behave differently? How exactly?
The first direction is especially relevant if there are shortcomings in honesty on their part. The second - is if it was discovered or there is a suspicion that the partner is deceiving.
This is true for any relationship - romantic, parent-child, friendship, work. Of course, in each case, there are nuances and differences in the degree of closeness, so the answers, depending on the type of relationship, will have a different focus and color. But the questions are working in all cases.
An example of working on from your side: is the fear that the partner will leave if something is not to their liking. You have to dodge, filter information, embellish, and hush up.
What is behind this? Let's say the fear of loneliness dug out. Why is this loneliness scary for me? What kind of people do I believe are lonely? What do I dislike most about being alone? What qualities and character traits do I need to work out, and which ones to activate to feel complete even in loneliness?
It is best to allocate separate time for this and write down everything that comes from within the questions asked, and then additionally think over everything written. Sometimes awareness is enough to change your own attitude and then the relationship with another person. Look for additional information about what will accumulate. For example, if it is a fear of loneliness, look for articles and books on this topic; they will help you understand yourself and the reasons for this feeling. Believe that you have all the qualities necessary for a harmonious state, feel them, and integrate them into life.
If that's not enough, feel free to find a professional to help you figure out when you have doubts about your relationship. Fear is a fairly powerful energy with a decent magnetic potential. There is no need to wait until the fears are realized; it is easier to work them out in the symptomatic stage than to deal with the consequences later.
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