Ways to know if your boyfriend is using you

01.06.2023

How to know if a guy really likes you or is just using you? It is not always easy for a woman to determine how much a man is interested in her and what his real intentions are in a relationship. Each of us wants to believe in the best. But, alas, not at all and not always. The behavior of someone in love and someone who just takes advantage of you is very different. Many of the men in relationships have their own agendas and are just passing the time for personal gain. Of course, the easiest way to recognize a guy's plans is to ask directly. But in matters of feelings, many men behave with restraint and detachment. It is easy to learn about their true feelings through his actions. How to know if a guy is using you? Therefore, if, in words, he says that he is in love, but in reality, he is not able to lend a helping hand even in the most seemingly simple situation, then it is time to think. There are quite a few signs of how to understand what a man uses for his own selfish purposes. It is important to learn how to notice them in time and correctly decipher them. Here are a few clear signs that allow you to determine as accurately as possible at an early stage of a relationship that he does not want to develop a serious relationship at all but simply uses you to satisfy his desires. But do not be too strict because a man may not see anything serious at the beginning of a relationship, but over time he can change his attitude. The fact is that it is quite possible that he just needs to get to know his girlfriend better and discover for himself her positive features.

Signs a guy is using you emotionally

When dealing with men, evaluate them for who they are and not as you would like them to be.

• Not financially invested. Rest assured, the guy who uses you is not going to spend money. So forget about gifts, surprises, and flowers. Remember, if a man avoids financial investments, he definitely doesn’t like you that much. After all, it is impossible to save a person who is important. And vice versa, if he likes you, and he has real deep feelings towards you, while he sees in you a woman for a serious relationship, he will definitely invest and share all his resources. After all, in this way, he wants to prove that he is the very guy you need. The man, in this case, will become the best version of himself. So with the right guy, you won't have the thought, "I think my boyfriend is using me." A man who does not see his future with you will demonstrate his variability and independence. He is with you only when it is convenient for him or when there is a mood.

• Don't spend time with you. How to tell if your boyfriend is using you? Time is the most valuable resource. But if a man does not see you as his beloved and only, then he will, in every possible way, avoid long conversations, correspondence, and meetings. Most likely, he gets in touch only if he has much free time and pleasantly wants to spend it. In all other cases, it ignores and periodically disappears. 

• Does not make joint plans. When you ask him about anything to do with a future together, he says that the two of you should worry about the here and now, not the future. And these are clear signs a man is using a woman. If you are not a significant woman, then the man will not include you in his daily plans. You will feel, despite your periodic relationships, that everyone has, as it were, their own separate life. Most likely, for him you are “not the one,” and he is not going to continue your relationship. Because a seriously passionate young man, planning his free time, one way or another, actively involves his girlfriend. Do you know his friends and relatives? Do you know where he works? Has he shared his personal hobbies and interests with you? If the answer is no, you are not a part of his life. Most likely, he intentionally keeps you from these things. After all, the warmer and more trusting your relationship is, the more you are immersed in a joint future. Is he using me? Life is too short to spend on those who are not ready for a relationship with you. Talk honestly about everything, and if it doesn't lead to anything, feel free to leave the relationship. You deserve to be with someone genuinely interested in you and taking concrete steps to start dating you rather than playing games, regarding you as an "alternate airfield."

• Doesn't seek to improve your life. If you are, in fact, not valuable, the guy will avoid your requests for help in every possible way. After all, he is not interested in supporting you, solving some issues, or making your life easier. All this stresses him. If a young man is in no hurry to help, he does not see a promising future with you. He can justify his detachment with anything: being busy, doing things at work, and even feeling unwell. Analyze your relationship - how much the man is involved in the relationship. Indeed, by the quantity and quality of attention on his part, it is very easy to identify true intentions. Remember, a loving man will not miss the opportunity to please, protect, and take care.

• He treats you like his friend. Signs he is using you. If all you've been talking about lately is his problems, then at least you're guaranteed an unhealthy relationship. A wake-up call if he acts like you are his psychologist and not his girlfriend. He may just want you to be with him to make himself feel better. This is all you need to satisfy your ego. If a man is just using a woman to save himself, he may say you are the only one who understands or can help him. In addition, he can only be affectionate in the presence of other people: he can tell how beautiful you are, how smart and seductive you are, but he will never really make you feel how important, valuable, and necessary for him. A man seems to forget about you when things are going well in his life. 

• He is fickle. Signs of being used by a guy. Today he writes without interruption and pays attention to you, and tomorrow you won’t hear from him, and his “silence” can last for several days. When this happens, it is obvious that the man is not focused on you or what you want from the relationship. He is with you only when it is convenient for him or when there is a mood. He doesn't think about you if he doesn’t call or write to you. If a person is fickle in his intentions, then believing him is already very difficult. In this regard, you will be chronically anxious about not being trusted. And the most important rule in a relationship is that meetings and dates should bring joy, not pain. If his disappearances are a regular pattern, perhaps he is not free and considers you an alternate airfield. Most likely, he has a wife or girlfriend and contacts you only at a convenient time for himself. Apparently, sexual interest in this situation is a priority. Decide you need a man whom you doubt. Do you need such an unstable attitude? How to behave if my boyfriend using me? If you are tired of such games, you can either stop answering calls and messages for at least a few days or, conversely, start writing and calling every day. And see the reaction. This will clarify and help you understand why he behaves so strangely around you.

A man wants to develop a serious relationship, to be only with you; if a woman is valuable as a person if you like him, he will never disappear anywhere. Even if there are personal reasons why the guy is in no hurry to develop relationships, he will not leave you in the dark and will definitely inform you about it. After all, he needs confidence that you will not be disappointed and will not disappear from his life. When a guy is using you, all this doesn't happen. The guy is more interested in his life and his benefits. So choose those who choose you. And then you will always be surrounded by attention, love, and care.

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