Dating Advice for a Modern Gentleman: the Complete Guide

18.07.2017

Dating can be quite hard sometimes. While men perfectly understand fellow males, women, on the other hand, seem like unknown creatures from Venus. One wrong move – and you are retired from the game. Though there are a lot of ‘dating advice for men’ materials on the Internet, nothing guarantees you to master the knowledge of how to be a gentleman. And ladies love gentlemen.

Read a detailed guide on this topic from our online dating and relationship specialists.

Basic rules of being a gentleman

As before, romantic relationships are based on engaging the object of your feelings, showing your best qualities, and charming the potential partner. If you are an ignoramus, ladies will giggle behind your back or ignore your awkward signs of attention. Of course, you may be able to attract one of those who likes the bad guys. But this will not help build long-lasting relationships, and there will hardly be any respect for you.

It is a mistake to think that men and women are fully equal today if you want to be a gentleman, do not claim that she should pay for herself in a restaurant and accept you for who you are. Such an attitude towards the fair sex leads to a dead end. Showing good manners, demonstrating genuine politeness, you can achieve her sympathy, trust and desire to show care. Believe us, you will like it much more than playing the bad guy. On a date, wear neat and stylish clothes, perfect your manners, get rid of slang and other verbal garbage.

You want to know how to be a gentleman but do not understand where to start? Being a gentleman is not a personal quirk. This is not what you turn on and off like a switch. This is a way of thinking and lifestyle. A gentleman revolves around one word: respect. It is respect for yourself, for those who are dear to you, and for those you want to take care of. So, here are 7 basic dating advice for men on how to behave like a real gentleman:

1. Personal style. When we hear "gentleman", we think of a suit, tie, polished shoes ... and stuffiness and crampiness in all this. Boring! Fortunately, the definition has evolved and is no longer tied to a particular image: it's all about the attitude and how you behave.

Choose an individual style that reflects your personality and lifestyle. Do not buy the clothes you think you should buy. And always remember about clean shoes (sneakers, it doesn't matter).

2. Hygiene. Gentleman dating etiquette requires making efforts to have a chick and nice appearance. Keep yourself clean, take a shower more often, be well-groomed always and everywhere. Women it to be messy, but this mess should be still under control. You must be clean and smell good, for this buy at least one or two expensive perfumes that will last for long and add to your image a final touch.

3. Be an adult. Now it’s common for potential employers and your potential couple to check your social network profile. Even if the photos were taken many years ago, and since then you have changed but just have not deleted the old photos, they will see you, and this is not always good. The true gentleman will not let the drunk photos from a college party or naked torso photos from holidays when he was still looking not so good ruin the overall look of his social media page. Better save those images to the archive under a password on your laptop so that you could laugh together with your girlfriend when you get close enough. But they should not be the main thing to let people form their opinion about you. Set up a normal email address as well. An email account with a nickname that you came up with at school and haven’t changed since is the farthest thing from being a mature gentleman.

4. Do not swear. Never. Finding out how many people insult curses, even unintended, you will be amazed. Watch your mouth, as well as your thoughts. Learning how to be a gentleman includes perfecting the way you talk too, it doesn’t mean you should always express your thoughts in a way as if giving an acceptance speech but keep track of the number of slang words you use and try to reduce them. When you constantly swear in your personal life, it becomes increasingly difficult to remove this habit at work and school/institute. Just take it out of life altogether.

Consider it a top priority if you want to be a gentleman. Not only is vocabulary expansion in itself interesting, but you will also impress others in all areas with intelligence and professionalism. To do this and become more eloquent, read more books or listen to the audio ones anywhere you can.

5. Communicate. Say hello as a stranger passing by (unless, of course, this is not a crowd on the street). Look into the eyes of an interlocutor while talking. Be open. Those are the best ways to open yourself to new people, experience and professional connections.

Be a good listener. Ask questions. Pay attention to what is important to the people around you, and they will take note of you. Be able to set the pace of the conversation, think up in advance about topics for conversation that the girl might be interested in. Think about what to ask her. Then the date does not envelop awkward silence, the conversation will be natural and interesting. When dining in a restaurant, don't talk with a mouthful of food. During the conversation, keep your back straight and look into her eyes, showing interest. Do not brag about material well-being or criticize wealthy people. A girl can get embarrassed, either she will see a boaster in you or a man dissatisfied with life. Your car, clothes, watches should tell about your material welfare without any words.

6. Find your goal. Besides a good home and financial success, what do you want? What are you passionate about? Determine what you live for. Not only will you feel more satisfied, but it will also lead to such depth and content of life that you can feel happy because life is filled with meaning. Everything will feel much brighter. You must show what are your goals and give at least a few-steps general plan on how to reach this target. You should not only talk, but act and this confidence will attract people like a magnet.

7. Fortitude. Not making a decision is a decision in itself, and it is not a good one! If you want the respect of others, know what you want and whatnot, and be very clear. Know what to say "NO" is one of the most respected things you can do for yourself. You do not want to be a weak person who constantly worries about everyone around and whines, exaggerates everything. The spineless being is not a gentleman. Take the initiative. Even in small things. Do not let her decide everything herself, try to think in advance about the course of your dates. Moreover, it is not necessary to drive the girl to expensive places every time. The main thing is to show her that you care.

Getting Closer To Her

So how to get closer to a desired girl or woman? How to become not only her lover but her best friend, support, her spiritual twin? Today we will talk about things that will make you rise in her eyes immediately. I want to teach you how to become a gentleman from the woman’s perspective. So, without further ado, let’s get started with some advices.

1. Try to talk to your interest. It involves a polite weather talk, an offer to help or a subtle compliment. If you are not familiar with each other in a first place, I do not suggest you to chase her with love tirades, because it will definitely scare her. Don’t be too forward too. Know the golden rule: don’t mumble and don’t hit on her like you are about to win a dating competition. Nice people always have a positive image.

2. Get to know your target via Twitter, Facebook and other social media. No, that doesn’t involve stalking. You can agree that Internet has become one of the most consistent and rich information resources in our lives. So let’s imagine you’ve met a girl in the mall or it’s your co-worker. You want to invite a woman to dinner. But here is where the dilemma comes: what if she is filthy rich and your trip to a local café will be a real offence? What if you want to impress her with oriental cuisine, but she is allergic to sushi?

What if she is a keen cinema-goer? Believe me, a quick research never killed a person yet (supposedly). She will be pleasantly surprised if you invite her for a new Marvel movie, because all it took you was to scroll through her feed and be smart enough to understand what her preferences are. Besides that, going to an event she likes will increase the chances of her accepting your offer. If a girl doesn’t have enough information, the easiest way to figure out what she likes is to ask her in a conversation or get to know each other through texting. It’s easy to speak to a person you like remotely, because you might get nervous and say some gibberish talking in person.

Note: don’t let her friends spill the beans if you have decided to do a research on her interests, because it may be an innocent manifestation of your interest, but sometimes it can appear a little creepy. So the second advice is purely optional. Only if you are very good at lurking and asking, you’ll go to town with this tactics.

3. I hope you chose a good place for a quick promenade together. Psychologists advise men to pick a destination where both of you will feel completely comfortable – either a cozy café, movies, a good restaurant, or a walk in the park. Yes, you want to impress your lady, but don’t go overboard with that, leave horse-riding and scuba diving for later dates. If you have a river/see nearby, it would be a good idea to have a romantic dinner on the beach. Like scientists of love matters say, you should take her to big water to make her fall in love with you.

4. Start a nice conversation where you don’t forget to create a good image of yourself. It may seem a little bit hypocritical, but God forbid you to talk about your weaknesses. Nobody wants to date a loser. Some men feel so relaxed they start sharing problems about their job, sex life, family bonds. Be invincible for one day. Also keep in mind about her interests. It will be a nice touch if you mention previously lurked information and say that you share some interests. But don’t be a copycat and stay strong about your own hobbies.

5. Bring a nice gift. It can be flowers, cute little things, sweets and so on. Keep it simple and high-quality. Not that those things are very expensive or much needed, but it would be nice if she thought you actually had spent some time before going on a date.

6. Mention your serious intentions. You know what types of men normal women absolutely despise? Clowns, of course! Those who don’t have plans for life, jobs, hobbies, interests, friendships, relations. You can clearly see this chap came to have a great time and not worry about anything in life. No, that is not appealing. Show a lady she can trust you. You have to create an image of a working modern man with a lot of occupations and willingness to progress in life.

7. Dating advice for men over 40. Don’t waste her time if you have nothing to order. Usually women of the same age are done with mingling as a kind of fun sport; they are usually determined and perfectly know what they want from life. Be a man everyone dreams of: serious, good-natured, well-dressed.

8. Show your care and affection. If a woman talks about things she is passionate about, God forbid you to yawn and nod silently. Come on, let her realize you will be there – reliable and kind. Nothing like human love attracts more. Money can’t buy that sparkle in her eyes.

9. Speaking of money, don’t let her split the bill unless she really insists. Showing your financial position is very important. A woman needs to understand you are not playing games. You need to be a roof over her head, so that roof shouldn’t have any leakage!

10. Don’t lie and show your weaknesses. Those weaknesses don’t involve whining about low salary, but being unnatural is far worse than being, you know, human. If you need to go out or you have a phone call from your grandma, don’t decline it in order to appear macho. This is not how people work. We all have wrinkly shirts, we all get tired and sad, but at the end of the day, only feeling of togetherness helps us out.

11. After a date, end up on a romantic, but not horny note. I know you are planning to get in some lady’s pants, but if you tell her the truth about human nature, she definitely will not appreciate this move after the first date. Make her believe that men are noble princes and you really care about her inner world more than you care about her own desire. Giving a worm hug or a kiss is usually enough to make her want more.

12. Let her understand that this date was one of the best ones in your life! People who keep silence after the first date are weird. What do they expect? Women are interested the same as men, but certain rules won’t let them be clingy and hit on you. So feel free to do it first, especially when you know a lot about your date.

First Date Advice For Men

Don’t be late for a date! It’s a rude mistake when men choose the time and place, and then remember about the things they haven’t done, so the delay the first date. No one will recognize your good intentions if you act like that. It’s very childish and immature. If your date is late, don’t pound the alarm and get mad, women are usually always late. You can see it as a good sign. At least she tries to look pretty on a first date, that way she cares about how you will perceive her image.

Online Dating Advice For Men

Be a perfect companion. Women adore men who know how to start a conversation. Remember when I asked you to do a quick research? Well, it can help you build up a similar way of speaking. If you see that the girl is really young, you probably want to start up a conversation on an easier note. Use pictures, emojis, memes that are similar to her feed to make her think you are soul mates. If you see that the woman is all businessy, on the contrary, you should start off on a serious note, or just use a polite introduction. For now your messages are OK, so adjusting the way you speak will help you a lot. There are also some crucial things that all males need to understand. So dating advice for men from women:

• Use correct grammar. Nothing turns people off like the lack of education.
• Answer within several minutes. Games like ‘answering on the third day to seem effortless won’t work because you don’t know each other that well.
• Always start with a greeting. Just say ‘hi’ and get to the part where you explain the purpose of the message: an offer, a compliment etc.
• Don’t be too forward or rude with a woman you don’t know yet. You have no idea if she has the same sense of humor as you do, so I suggest you to start off neutral and inviting.
• If she doesn’t want to chat anymore, don’t bombard her or insist on continuing the conversation. A woman will clearly show you whether the offer to go on a date seems appealing. Some of them may refuse in order not to look easy, but I suggest you to try not more than a few times.
• Don’t annoy her with questions. Leave something for your ‘in real life’ date.

Being a good online-companion includes asking how her day was, telling her interesting facts and just being sincere and honest. Well, I think it is the best time to invite her for dinner. The best way is to ask her honestly where she wants to go, or choose a nice relaxing place to have your first romantic meeting. When she says she is busy, she might be sitting at home doing her nails. Understanding if you have been politely friendzoned is not easy. Don’t worry and be patient.

On this note I want to tell you the only thing: being a good person is not something we can achieve or pretend for a date. Being groomed, polite, honest, a little bit romantic and positive is the best way to win her heart. Dating has no boarders, so do everything you feel like doing, and hopefully those advices will only help you fall in love with a desired person ten times quicker!

A Perfect Man (Women’s View)

• He is firm, not gossipy.
• He is physically strong.
• He is brave.
• He makes decisions all by himself, he is responsible.
• He has a sense of humor, he is not a bore.
• He rests rarely, he is constantly doing something.
• He is light on his feet.
• He is charming, understands a woman, and forgives her weaknesses. He is successful with other women, but is attached to the one.
• He knows his own value.
• He is aggressive sometimes, but never towards a woman.
• He loves his woman.
• He has no whit of sentimentality.
• He never hits a woman.
• He is persistent, sometimes almost violent but never crosses the boundaries of her reluctance.
• He does not make scenes. He responds to women's scenes either by calm disregard, or by breaking it off sharply.
• He is generous.
• He works a lot, and does not refuse to do “female work”.
• He does laundry.
• Does not talk about his work too much, if he is not asked, he listens more to his lady.
• He does surprises and holidays, he remembers all significant dates of life together.
• He cooks well. He does the grocery.
• He respects his baby, he is proud of her and is slightly jealous.
• He can arrange a dinner in a restaurant and choose it by himself.
• He is dancing better than other men.
• He comes tired after work but not irritated. He does not ask what is for dinner. He asks what would his girl like for dinner (Do not forget the abundance of bags with food in the trunk of his car, which he drives risky but confidently.)
• He plays games offered by his baby, listens to excerpts from magazines and newspapers, and discusses plans for a joint vacation.
• He deals with children (if already) with lessons, sports, games.
• He is perfect in bed (perhaps due to the described above features).