Sex on the first date: how to achieve it?
Should you have sex on the first date? The stereotype that only girls of “easy virtue” enter into intimate relationships with a man after the first date has existed for many centuries. However, in the modern world, it is clear to more and more people that this is not at all the case.
To be or not to have sex on the first date, as a rule, the woman decides. For this "privilege," according to society, she is responsible for her reputation - in the eyes of public opinion and a sexual partner. And in this case, she must be prepared for unpleasant consequences: public condemnation, censure, and the inability to continue relations with this partner. The fact is that age-old dogmas and stereotypes have provided us with a whole package of prejudices on the topic of sexuality. Each one is different, but each one has one. What to oppose to social myths, how to say “yes” without harming yourself, and in what cases consent and desire are more important.
How to sleep with a woman on the first date?
The rules of the first date are behind the scenes, but they exist. It is not so easy to unify them because each nationality, time, culture, and even subculture they have its own. For example, in the creative environment of New York, these are phenomena of a general order, and in the countries of the Arab world, they a taboo topics. The regulation of sexual acceptability is unique for each person, although it is based on certain general canons. And in society, the main myth rules - to perceive sexuality for the sake of sex, that is, to directly link gender and the need for sex. As a result, we have a stable stereotype: a man is polygamous, and a woman is monogamous - and this is the norm. Although still sleeping with someone on the first date is considered acceptable today.
In fact, sexuality is not connected with gender but with the individual characteristics of a person: with the sexual constitution and those attitudes towards sex that this particular person has formed. That is, women can be as polygamous as men, despite the fact that public opinion thinks otherwise. This means that a woman's need for sex on a first date can be the same as a man's.
Is it bad to have sex on the first date?
Sex on the first date is neither good nor bad; it is a matter of goals and desired results. If a woman feels her inner need for sex without commitment, then why not. Yes, it happens that you go on a date purely for the sake of sex: you haven’t had it for a long time, and the body requires such physical relaxation; you want to diversify your sex life, etc. Therefore, sleeping with a guy on the first date is quite normal. But at the same time, you should not have false hopes of forming stable long-term contact with this partner.
It is a completely different matter if you are in the mood for a long union and the creation of a family. In general, it is possible to build an argument "for and against" sex on a first date only by understanding the nature of human sexuality and the goals of a particular person.
Sex on a first date advice
The entire human sexual cycle, with phases of arousal, plateau, orgasm, and resolution, passes through the nervous system. The transition from one stage of the sexual cycle to another is possible only if the psyche is ready for this. The orgasm stage can have two distinct manifestations: physiological resolution and psychosexual orgasm.
Physiological orgasm is a physical relaxation that is easily achieved on your own or with an arbitrary partner that does not carry any value for you. That's exactly the kind of orgasm you can get on a first date.
The second sexual sensation that everyone wants to experience is the deepest physical and mental pleasure. Having experienced a psychosexual orgasm, a person in the future will not be subjectively satisfied with only physiological relaxation. But the catch is that in order to receive these vivid experiences, a number of conditions must be met. And sex on the first date is not included and is even contraindicated.
I slept with him on the first date now what? When used properly, sex can be a tool that strengthens relationships.
A person is so arranged that a psychosexual orgasm is available to him only with a very desirable partner. Very desirable means are valuable, important, interesting, attractive, and meaningful, even without sex. It is almost impossible to gain a foothold in all of these positions on the first date. In order to "settle" in the emotional sphere of a partner, it takes time, vivid communication, and the joint passage of some situations - in a word, dynamics. And this is the first condition. The second and most important thing is that along with the emotional dynamics, the sexual one must also be present. It is characterized by an increase in sexual tension - lust.
Guys who try to sleep with you on the first date should understand that even before sex with you, a person should desire it at the fantasy level: imagine and play the scenario of the first intimate contact, worry about the nuances, and think about how to do better. Dreams on this topic should become his constant companion. And when the fantasy finally becomes a reality, the person subjectively believes that this contact is brighter and better than any other. In favor of this opinion, the effect of euphoria from a dream come true works.
There is no exact answer to when exactly this dream is to be “fulfilled,” just as there is no generally accepted standard because all people are different, and it is not known when the degree of sexual intensity occurs in each specific case. One thing is certain: if you want sex with you to become memorable, give your partner the feeling of a non-physiological orgasm, which he probably experienced many times - to help him feel true sexual pleasure. And then your contact will definitely not be one-time because having felt a psycho-emotional orgasm with you, your partner will be even more interested in a long-term and lasting relationship.
Why doesn't the "three dates" rule work?
Some women, through upbringing, have the impression that sex is a medium of exchange. That with the help of manipulating sex from a man, you can twist the ropes and get what you want from him. Yes, it might work. Only such a system does not work in favor of women. After all, if sex becomes a commodity, then sooner or later a man will go looking for more favorable conditions.
And if you sleep with a man without first bothering to get to know him better, this is a reason to decide that with the same ease, you are able to jump into the arms of any other. The logic is very simple, if you have not learned about his views and interests, then you are guided by the choice of a sexual partner on other grounds - appearance, the fact of showing attention to you, or simply belonging to the male sex. Therefore, it is important to know what sex is on the first date and what guys think. Such a superficial look works for one-time meetings but not for anything more.
If you first talk to get to know the man better, he sincerely believes that you decided to have sex with him after that due to the fact that he has become special to you. That's the difference - sex is both there and there, but in the first case, it is the interaction of two bodies, and in the second - a tool for rapprochement.
How to have sex on the first date?
If you think that sex on the first date is an impossible or very difficult possibility for a romantic event to develop, you should change your beliefs, as they are very untenable. If you do not make a decision to change the course of your thoughts, directing them in a direction that is beneficial for you, then:
1. You will lose many women without knowing what they are in bed. Admit it to yourself, it's not uncommon for one part of your mind to realize that a girl really wants you, but your logical side whispers to you, “Look, this is just a first date. And she's not that kind of girl, so control yourself."
2. By projecting your mentality onto girls through your own words and actions, you push them towards conservative and withdrawn behavior when they are in your company.
3. You put women in an awkward position because they feel that you appreciate them, and as a result of which, they are afraid of seeming easily accessible. Therefore, if you want a girl to sleep with me on a first date, relax and be yourself.
In addition, sex on first date statistics shows that over 80% of people have sex on their first date.
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