The Biggest Reasons Why I'm Still Single?

29.03.2023

What is wrong with me why am I single? The easiest way to blame yourself for your loneliness. But it is best to blame Plato: he was the first to say that the absence of the second half is a cause for concern. This was around 400 B.C., and since then, single people have been feeling uncomfortable and wondering why am I always single, why am I still alone?

When you see how others walk, holding hands, hugging, and quarreling, you begin to feel the absence of a partner, especially acutely. But the truth is that in the world one in three adults is lonely. So stop thinking that you are alone because you are unattractive, impossible to love, and impossible to live with. The reasons are completely different.

Why are so many people single?

• You do not meet promising partners. It is impossible to meet someone while sitting at home alone. But even spending a lot of time at work, we are also deprived of the opportunity to make acquaintances. And even if we do social work and travel a lot, this does not always give us a chance to meet the right person. But the "just until it's time" approach doesn't work, so you'll sit and wait for the right moment for years. If you want to find a partner, you need to look for him. Make it a rule to finish work on time at least twice a week, go on dates, meet up with friends, and meet new people. Even if your company is exclusively family people with whom you have dinner on Saturdays, ask them to introduce you to someone.

• You are afraid of relationships, but you call it picky. Many of us have been burned in past relationships, but few have managed to deal with it, especially if we have experienced infidelity and abuse. Negative experiences make us doubt ourselves and believe that in a new relationship, we will have a repeat of the nightmare. Instead of sorting out the past, we deny it and hide our insecurities behind the high demands we place on a potential partner.

• You don't fit into the standard relationship model. No matter what we say, romantic love is still inextricably linked in our minds with marriage. It is believed that relationships should be monogamous and last a lifetime. But personally, such a model may simply not suit you. Today, it is not necessary to get married or get married in order to gain social recognition. But if a person is polygamous or asexual, it is not easy for him to admit it and find someone who shares his views on life.

• You are happy without a partner and live life to the fullest. We constantly hear about how important it is to find a couple and share life with a loved one. But almost everything we do with a partner can be done with friends, relatives, acquaintances, or alone. Even giving birth and raising a child without a partner is not as difficult as it used to be. You can also search for reasons to stay single. Loneliness in itself is not a problem. You can not start a permanent romantic relationship and still be friends, communicate, love, and enjoy life. Everything depends on you.

Why am I still single?

Loneliness really becomes a problem for people in their 20s and 30s. Young people feel more alone than older people. If loneliness after 60 is associated with a possible decrease in social contacts, young boys and girls have enough of these contacts, but they are shallow and may be limited to work and social networks. At the same time, loneliness affects a person as much as hunger, poverty, and pain.

Young people are especially vulnerable to loneliness. Firstly, there are no special help centers - they have already “grown” from teenage centers, but they have not yet “grown up” to help centers for the elderly. Secondly, it is shameful to talk about loneliness, and it is impossible to speak out about it on social networks - one of the main communication tools for young people. It is customary to say that you are dating someone, got married, or had children, but it is not customary to say that you are lonely, and this causes pain.

At the same time, psychologists do not say that you need to run away and make friends urgently. You need to at least admit to being alone. Confess and understand who you can contact with this problem - a specialist, parents, or closest friend. It's difficult and easier to open a new book or turn on a series, but if loneliness weighs on a person, then these methods are just an escape from yourself.

If you have a question about why are you single, then perhaps you need to take steps to meet new acquaintances. Sign up for GoDateNow to try online dating. You can search for a partner in the Girls online gallery section.

Will I be single forever?

In order not to be single forever, you need to take some action. There are three types of loneliness: voluntary, abandonment, and isolation. The first kind is even useful; it is a kind of pause, an opportunity to be alone, put your thoughts in order, and take care of yourself. The second and third types cause pain to a person. If he believes that he was abandoned, he torments himself with guilt for not being able to be perfect in a relationship. If he himself isolates himself from other people, then he is filled with anger and despair because no one can understand him. Perhaps in one of these views, you will recognize yourself, and that's why you re single.

• The first step for those who have distanced themselves from people of their own or someone else's will is to accept loneliness. No need to turn a blind eye to the problem; tell yourself honestly that there are few important people around. Further, of course, anger and sadness will flood in, but psychologists consider these emotions important in order to get out of loneliness.

• The second step is to experience anger and sadness. Anger gives energy for change: if there are no important people nearby, a person must find them. Sadness makes it possible to rest - it is the state of sadness that helps a person to reassemble himself. The critical point is to find a person who can sometimes monitor your condition so that sadness or anger does not drag on and become toxic. Such a person can be a psychologist, a neighbor, or a close relative. He can monitor your psychological state even if he does not share your values and cannot become a friend.

• The third step is to redefine values. The way out of loneliness begins with selfishness. Start taking care of yourself, eliminate toxic communication, try to revise your habits, and get rid of harmful addictions. Don't think about communication, do what you need. But remember that a healthy lifestyle is more reliable than computer games and social networks.

• The fourth step is to respect the boundaries of other people. Most likely, in the third stage, you will make new acquaintances - new habits will create a new lifestyle and attract new people. It is important to communicate with them, but at the same time, be aware of the mistakes that you made in the past. If you have completely passed the third stage, then obviously, you want people to respect the new you and respect your boundaries. Do the same for yourself - let the other person be himself. For example, do not impose your favorite leisure time. You can watch football alone and together do what is interesting for both of you.

Why am I single in the 21st century?

To begin with, not being in a relationship in the 21st century is completely normal. In fact, there are almost as many single adults in the world as married adults. And of those who are not married, nearly two-thirds have never been married.

Never before have so many women been financially self-reliant. Loneliness is not something that has ceased to be a stigma as it used to be; it can even be useful. More than a dozen studies had shown that when people get married, they are no happier than they were when they were single, except for a short honeymoon period.

Why are you still single? Those who are not in a relationship can benefit from their single status. A study of over 10,000 women in their 70s found that single women who had never had children all their lives were more optimistic and less stressed than married women (with or without children). In addition, they were the most educated and volunteered the most, had the healthiest body mass index, and had almost no smokers or people with a serious illnesses.

Being single is normal, but if you still decide to find a partner, then read Our Dating Blog to better understand relationships