Dealing with a Toxic Personality in a Relationship

18.10.2020

Toxicity is a popular term new-age people like to use left and right. But what does it mean to be toxic? How to deal with toxic people, and most importantly, how do you know that someone is toxic?

When someone steps into a new relationship, the only prayer they want God to hear is having a normal partner, who won’t use and abuse them. But in reality, toxicity is often mutual. There is no toxic partner without someone who always bites the bait. Today you are going to learn about the traits of a toxic person in a relationship.

Meaning of being a toxic person

What is a toxic person? People mistakenly call dissenting friends toxic. It doesn’t take much for a date to be claimed hazardous. But in reality, toxic people are not someone who is outright rude or in-your-face. They can be sneaky and low-key, and still do a whole lot of damage.

Toxic relationships start with disrespecting each other’s personal borders. Then, it goes as far as emotional manipulation, mental, or even physical abuse. At first, toxic partners test your stamina, inventing more and more cruel exams to see how much you can take.

When someone you love is toxic, life doesn’t seem right. You might always feel guilty, “less than,” self-loathing, petty, and stressed out. And most definitely, you are not going insane. You were just placed in a weird loop of re-occurring events nobody else puts you in.

Among other signs, your partner is toxic is lack of trust. Even if you never had trust issues, you might suddenly want to check their messages, spy on them, or be unexplainably jealous even if there is no apparent reason even if no one made you feel like that. Because a toxic person eventually makes you one as well, and there is no way to escape.

Drawbacks and dangers of relationships with toxic girlfriend

Before chilling on any single ladies site, you need to check out toxic girlfriend signs. And before even knowing them, you have to make sure you understand the drawbacks of even going to that territory!

Why is dating a toxic girlfriend dangerous?

• You will become toxic. We tend to pick up the best and worst traits from our partners when dating. And if the negative sites visibly prevail, you won’t even notice how soon you might start criticizing pals for using cheap toilet paper, hating on her friends, or being a jerk to your parents. You might never realize that toxic behavior is contagious, but soon you will treat each other equally, with mutual disrespect and lack of personal borders.
• You might lose your friends. Best friends are one of the first people who notice changes when you have a new girlfriend. They laugh at you for using a lovey-dovey lexicon, being a simp, or creating a new love language with her. But when you talk nasty stuff behind someone’s back, your friends will be the first to say that you’ve changed. And if she distances you from your best buddies, they might want to disappear forever.
• You might become co-dependent. Toxicity is like a sweet painkiller. Half of the time, you are against the world, but at other times you destroy each other emotionally and physically. This reality becomes your way of being, so interacting with non-dramatic friends and family members will be too boring for you. Soon enough, you will be picking fights just to receive a strong response you are used to.
• You might become sneaky and needy. Toxic people deny everything that doesn’t serve their needs. They don’t think twice before insulting a person, justifying it with being direct. They butt into conversations and give their two cents to people who didn’t ask for advice. Finally, toxic partners never put your needs above or at least next to them. They just need adoration and control over the situation.

Signs your partner is toxic

Signs of a toxic person in a relationship will not help you avoid absorbing toxicity, but at least you will spend less time on unworthy people. These are the main red flags, as well as the main toxic people traits:

1. Criticizing you, your interests, or your inner circle. The main priority of a loving partner is making you feel happy. But if your interest in yoga mats or pugs makes them furious, most definitely, your partner doesn’t like seeing people happy. Why? Because their unhappiness and bitterness don’t allow them to compliment you without being back-handed wholeheartedly. Does she hate when you wear a black tie because you look like a dork? Well, you can put these accusations in so many nice words and sentences; there is no need to be this outright.
2. She doesn’t like where you are in life, but doesn’t offer any help. Toxic people like having fun with other peoples’ lives without caring too much about their emotions. A toxic girlfriend will find fifty better ways to spend your evening, but will do nothing to participate in following with the plan actively. All she wants to do is control the process and talk down at you.
3. She is controlling and jealous. A toxic personality in a relationship doesn’t give a control freak a spare day. A toxic girlfriend is always all up in your business, accusing you of having a side affair, no time for your conjoint pastime, being nosey and rude with your friends. At this point, you may have no desire to take your GF to the BBQ with closest buddies because you know that this is going to be a disgrace.
4. She doesn’t understand compassion. Toxic people are not very supportive. Since 100% of the time it is about them, there is no need to consider your needs. A toxic GF would give you uncomfortable advice even if you sound genuinely upset or look really terrified.
5. She lacks honesty. In a toxic relationship, truth is not appreciated. Sometimes it is easier to lie than tell as it is. Consequently, you and your partner are going to hold grudges against each other, act petty, and avoid responsibility at all costs. If a partner lies to you to avoid conflict, that is still toxic, as knowing the truth is the sign of respect and trust.
6.  She doesn’t give you support. In toxic relationships, the untold truth is ugly. Both partners try to sink each other’s ships to be better than their beloved ones. If a girl doesn’t act compassionate or supports your decisions, she doesn’t want you to thrive. Some people like to stay in a bubble of invented reasons as to why their SO doesn’t seem to care. If your partner is standing against you where they meant to support, don’t fool yourself. They just don’t want to be nice and play it safe.
7. You feel physically unwell near this person. If the stress from talking to this person is so high, you feel bad on a physical level; it is a sure sign that you need to run from this connection. Toxic people poison your life from within. Soon enough, you will experience a list of physical symptoms, such as abdominal pain, headache, etc. Do not ignore these sings because your body knows best!

5 Steps in dealing with a toxic personality in dating

“Am I the toxic person in my relationship?” ask this question and check the list of symptoms. If you are not emotionally immature or abusive, your partner will feel comfortable in these relationships. But what if they are toxic towards you? What do you do in situations like this?

1. Always choose YOU. Whatever your relationships may benefit you or cheer you up sometimes, don’t let them define your existence. If you feel distressed or abused, don’t buy stories about your girlfriend’s resentment. She is not the one who is always abused, but you are. If you keep pleasing others, you may lose a part of your soul, your personal growth, and a path you should go. If her desires collide with yours, always choose what you want.
2. Fact-checking. Toxic people are great gaslighters. They don’t like to admit their faults, so by being considerate and smart, you take a piece of pie from their plate. A simple “no, I didn’t say that” might be a good start. You do not need to succumb to false claims and accusations if you feel it’s not right.
3. Remove yourself from the situation. Whenever the talk gets heated or dangerous, don’t be afraid to leave the room and calm down for a while. If your girlfriend approaches you, politely say that you need some personal space at the moment.
4. Become unavailable. After detachment, toxic people start suffering from the lack of emotional nutrition, so their main goal is to lure you again. By disappearing from the radars, you might change your girl’s attitude for a while until the cycle repeats itself.
5. Leave the relationship. As sad as it may sound, no amount of love can be proven by suffering. If your person likes to play mind games, recommend them to find a good playground.

Toxic relationships are a reality for many couples. How can you manage it and possibly save a relationship? Stay truthful to yourself, work on your self-esteem, and don’t ever be scared to leave a toxic partner.