Emotionally draining relationships, how do you fix them?

21.02.2023

If you tell yourself I feel emotionally drained in my relationship, you may be in an exhausting or toxic relationship. Many psychologists define a toxic relationship as "any relationship between people who do not support each other, where there is conflict, and one partner seeks to suppress the other, where there is competition, where there is disrespect and lack of cohesion."

While any relationship in a family too, goes through ups and downs, toxic relationships are always unpleasant and drain the people involved to the point where the negatives outweigh and outweigh the positives. Toxic relationships cause psychological, emotional, and possibly even physical damage to one or both of the participants.

And these relationships do not have to be romantic. It is worth mentioning that friendships, family, and professional relationships can also be toxic.

Insecure partner drains relationship

People who consistently harm their partner (intentionally or not) often have a reason for their behavior, even if it is subconscious. Sometimes the person is manipulative, in which case you will think that my relationship is draining me. Perhaps such people had toxic relationships, romantic or childish. Maybe they didn't have a supportive and loving upbringing. They could be bullied at school. They may be suffering from an undiagnosed mental disorder such as depression, anxiety or bipolar disorder, an eating disorder, or any form of trauma.

Sometimes a toxic relationship is simply the result of an imperfect couple. For example, two people who need control or a sarcastic type dating a person with a fine mental organization.

Also, a person can be an abuser. Abuse demonstration of violence. It doesn't matter if it's mental or physical.

Signs of a Toxic Relationship

There are 10 main signs by which you can understand that this is a toxic relationship and boyfriend drains my energy.

• Lack of support. Time spent together has ceased to be positive or conducive to achieving your goals; my relationship is exhausting me. Healthy relationships are based on a mutual desire to succeed in all areas of life. In a toxic relationship, any achievement of partners turns into a competition, and the competition only grows. No matter what happens, it's every man for himself. They lack protection and support.

• Toxic communication. Most of your conversations with each other are filled with sarcasm, criticism, or open hostility. You may even start avoiding each other.

• Envy. Although it's normal to feel jealous from time to time. Envy can become a problem if you are unable to force yourself to think positively or feel positive emotions when your partner succeeds.

• Behavior control. Constant questions about where you are or being overly upset about not responding to messages right away are signs of controlling behavior that can contribute to relationship toxicity. In some cases, these attempts to control you may be a sign of abuse.

• Resentment. Toxic relationships are primarily characterized by a process in which you or your partner hold on to resentments and allow them to affect an intimate relationship. Over time, frustration or resentment only builds up and makes the gulf in the relationship much larger.

• Disrespect for you and your feelings. Chronic tardiness, "accidental" forgetting of events, and other behavior that shows disrespect for your time; if you think my partner's negativity is draining me, this is a red flag. Including if your problems and experiences devalue, showing you their disrespect.

• Negative financial behavior. Your partner may make financial decisions, including buying expensive items or withdrawing large sums of money, without consulting you.

• Constant stress. Periodic tension can occur in any relationship, but constant tension is an indication that something is not right. Constant stress can take a toll on your physical and emotional health.

• Ignoring your needs. According to psychologists, doing what your partner wants to do, even if it is against your desires or comfort level, is a sure sign of toxicity. For example, you may agree to a vacation that you have not planned.

• When "no" becomes a dirty word. "No" is an important word in any relationship. Don't cross it out of your vocabulary, even in the name of love, especially in the name of love. Healthy relationships require compromise, but they also respect the needs and desires of both people. Communicating what you want is just as important to you and your relationship as communicating what you don't want.

How to fix an emotionally draining relationship? A loving partner will respect that you are not going to agree with everything they say or do. If you're only accepted when you say yes, it's probably time to say no to the relationship.

When a woman is tired of a relationship

The first reason for fatigue can be a boring and routine image of relationships. Banality, routine, and predictability in the behavior of a guy is not the best stimulant for the continued existence of a couple. However, these concepts should not be confused with elementary traditional male actions. Since he visits billiards on Wednesdays and baths on Fridays, it is a tradition for him. But strict adherence to the ritual of lighting candles in the form of green on Tuesday, and only yellow on Saturday, can already be considered tedious.

There are other reasons why a girl may be tired of being in a relationship. These include:

• The thinking girl is accustomed to the actions of the guy. After all, he hasn’t really surprised her in a long time. All his actions are quite predictable and primitive;

• She does not allow herself to be vulnerable and uninhibited enough. With some men, a woman should always be "on top." Strict, but not voiced, rules of conduct that a man implicitly imposes literally suffocate a woman in such a relationship. And she, at times, wants to be just herself, funny, cheerful, and a little capricious;

• She is used to more passionate or dramatic relationships. If before you, a girl met a fireworks man, then in the following relationship, she will greatly miss surprises and unexpected trips, a bouquet of daisies in the morning, and a funny note found in her pocket at lunchtime. Some people may get tired of a relationship in which there are no fights that abounded in previous relationships;

• Lack of novelty. Since a person is a constantly evolving being, stagnation in relationships is not at all welcome.

• Lack of intimacy. Intimate biological rhythms are different for men and women. And, in the case of a lack of sexuality in a relationship, there is a physical and moral malaise of the whole organism, which begins to wither and wither before our eyes. The presence of high-quality sex is the key to the health of both the female and male bodies;

• Differences in the expression of feelings. It would seem that both members of their union should understand each other's hints. But this is far from true. Often a girl needs a more obvious and even revealing manifestation of tenderness and care from her partner than he can give;

• She has unrealistic expectations about what a relationship should be like. Representatives of the tender part of the population are characterized by high expectations from a union with a man. This comes from watching movies and hearing stories from popular talk shows.

• She is not as in love with her partner as she would like;

• Believes that he already knows everything about his partner. And no longer expects novelty and frank discoveries;

• Not ready for a serious relationship. With everyday routine, everyday duties, and own responsibility.

When two people have matching energy in relationships, they won't get tired of each other or their relationships.

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