Empathy is Important in Relationships?

15.05.2023

Can a man without empathy have a healthy relationship? Empathy is conscious empathy with the emotional state of others, the ability to recognize how they feel, and express compassion. The ability to sympathize helps us feel ownership of what is happening to a person, and the person himself will understand his emotions are important to you, and you accept him.

This skill is necessary when building interpersonal empathic relationships, finding a common language, and agreeing and developing a strategy that will satisfy both parties is possible only when we are able to put ourselves in the place of another.

Empathy is a bridge between the worlds in which each of our lives; it helps us to feel unity with others.

How does empathy most likely improve a relationship?

An empath is a person with a developed ability to empathize, who can establish an empathic connection with other people, "tune in to the wave" of another person, and receive information about his condition.

Psychologists have formulated the principles of empathic communication. Let's say a friend calls and talks about a stressful situation at work or health problems. How to show empathy in a relationship?

• The empath is fully present at the moment. When listening to an interlocutor, a person with developed empathy does not get distracted, does not try to analyze the situation and draw conclusions, but asks clarifying questions in order to hear the details and understand the interlocutor's view of what is happening.

• Focuses on the feelings and needs of the other person. Empathy is different from sympathy. The empath does not say “I’m so sorry” so as not to shift the focus on himself, but asks questions and tries to understand how the interlocutor feels at the moment. He may show sympathy later if he sees that the person needs him. But it may also be that the interlocutor needs a different reaction, and sympathy is not needed.

• Does not declare understanding but demonstrates it. An empath doesn't say, "I understand." Instead, he can retell what the interlocutor said and clarify whether he understood him correctly or voice the impression formed during the conversation, for example, “this was a blow to you.”

• Located nearby. An empath does not give advice, does not express judgments, does not state his view of the situation unless he is specifically asked to do so. He understands that his task is not to offer a solution but to listen to the person and understand what he needs now - and whether the empath himself is ready to provide it. Depending on the person's needs, the empath may offer their attention so that the person can talk; lend a shoulder so that he can cry; your company to break out of the routine and get distracted; just be around so that a person feels supported and does not feel lonely; sympathize, offer concrete help, and so on.

How to be more empathetic in a relationship?

• A sincere desire to understand any person and sympathize with him. Empathy is a complex inner work that requires a lot of resources. But often, it is easier for us to judge others, using stereotypes and labels, to dismiss their feelings, motivating this by an unwillingness to delve into other people's problems. You should sincerely care about what happens to a person - this is the only way to create deep constructive relationships.

• Empathize, not evaluate. If a boyfriend has no empathy, then when a person gets into an unpleasant situation, there is usually a desire to say: “You did something stupid, and you are to blame for everything.” But in this way he gives an assessment of what is happening, labels, and tries to devalue the feelings of the other, they say, it's okay what you are going through, it's all nonsense. This is how the defense mechanism of the psyche turns on: he does not want to face the strong negative emotions of other people. However, it is important to understand that such an attitude will not allow you to express sympathy, provide assistance, or establish contact. After all, if a guy cannot sympathize with others, the question immediately arises can a person without empathy love?

• Accept the fact that each person lives in their own psychological reality. Each of us has our own views, ideas, beliefs, and rules. These differences should be respected. Even if we do not share a person's worldview, we must admit that he has the right to his point of view. Lacking empathy in a relationship can make this relationship impossible because it is very important to understand and share the emotions of the one you love.

How to regain empathy?

People have a different ability to experience empathy; some have it from birth, while others find it difficult to imagine themselves in a strange place. But the situation can be changed because empathy is a skill that develops; for this, desire and regular training are needed.

• People around us. When you are standing at a bus stop, walking or riding in transport, look at the people around you: try to imagine how they feel, what they are thinking about at the moment, whether they had a good day today or a difficult one. And while communicating, ask yourself the question: “How does the person with whom I am talking feel now?” Thus, at first, you only build hypotheses, but with the development of the skill, you will be more accurate in your estimates.

• Active listening. How lack of empathy affects relationships? The basis of empathy is the ability to listen to a person. Set yourself a task: to hear and understand what he wants to convey. When communicating with others, try not to be distracted by extraneous matters: put down the phone, maintain eye contact, do not interrupt, and let them speak. This will allow you to better establish contacts with other people because each of us especially appreciates those interlocutors who possess the art of not only a storyteller but also a listener.

• Reflection. Mirror the other person's emotions: listen to him and retell what he told you, with an emphasis on his feelings. For example: “I understand that you have a tense situation at work right now; I see how anxious you are.” So you will be able to establish contact and express sympathy. This approach will eliminate the need to select some special words (which often causes difficulty). It is very often difficult for people to communicate with men who lack empathy, so you should try.

• Communicate with "others." It is no secret that many people like to gather around themselves a team of like-minded people - people with a similar worldview because, in such a society, we feel most comfortable. But this blurs the view, makes our thinking tunnel-like, and makes us unable to understand and sympathize with those whose views differ from ours. Set yourself the task of communicating with those with whom, for various reasons, you would not maintain relationships in ordinary life. The ability to understand "others" (people with a different worldview) and their motives.

• Read and watch. Reading fiction and watching psychological films are great empathy trainers. Try to track and analyze how the hero feels, at what moments he evokes empathy, and why. Often, in contact with works of art, empathy arises at an automatic level (this element is inherent in the work itself), which helps to train the skill.

• Play. There are a large number of board games (including for adults) that create an opportunity to put yourself in the shoes of other people and build relationships with them. Such games train the ability to better understand the interlocutor and predict the train of thought of different people. Even men with no empathy can play these games.

Exercise will help develop one of the most useful skills needed in everyday life: it allows you to read the emotional state of another person, to realize what drives him in order to successfully negotiate, build relationships in a team, and create harmonious relationships in the family. The main thing to remember is that empathy needs to be developed since love without empathy is impossible.

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