How to Find Self-Love in a Relationship

28.04.2023

How to practice self-love in a relationship? There are such special, sunny people. They are like an inexhaustible source of life-giving energy, overflowing. When meeting with them, there is a feeling that they have a huge luminary, alluring with its warm, fertile light, which radiates softly and smoothly. They seem to love the whole world and live in harmony with themselves and those around them; they literally feed on powerful energy. How do they do it? There is no secret, they have learned to love themselves, and everything else is a consequence.

How to love yourself in a relationship?

Almost no one really explains the meaning of this term, which we all meet quite often - what is it like to love yourself? From the point of view of psychology, self-love includes several components:

• value;

• respect for personal boundaries;

• confidence;

• ease;

• activity.

But this list is unlikely to help you understand the true attitude towards yourself - you love yourself, you are only playing a role, or you have hidden love for yourself in a deep dungeon. That is why psychologists have compiled a list of criteria that will help you answer this difficult question.

Self-love in a relationship

• Pay attention to the signals of your body. Any of its signals (thirst, headache, fatigue, hunger, etc.) are a kind of clues about what form of love you need here and now. If you suppress a headache with pills, and when you are overworked, you do not give yourself even an hour of rest, you do not love yourself. And complete relaxation in response to fatigue and a relaxing massage session instead of a pill is a sign of taking care of your body and hence self-love.

• Focus on your true desires. If you sacrifice a long-awaited trip to the pool or, for example, yoga in order to do household chores, self-love is out of the question. If you refuse to cook your favorite dish just because your spouse wants something else, this is again about dislike.

• The time you set aside for yourself. Do you like to take a walk before going to bed, read a fascinating work, or do needlework but chronically do not have enough time for this? It, in fact, is, only you do not allow it to be singled out for yourself, which means that you consider yourself a person unworthy of it. You need to remember self-love before relationship and try to return to this feeling.

• Hang out with people who bring positive emotions into your life. If you reject empty communication with those who are not particularly pleasant to you, you take care of your environment and choose its format yourself. Otherwise, you don't love yourself at all.

• The ability to clarify connections with a partner and leave from where you are not valued and not respected, for example, from a boring job, from a company of acquaintances with interests that are alien to you, from an unloved person (even if you are connected by common children, housing, mortgages, etc.). P.).

• Approach responsibly to your role in life; this is the importance of self-love in relationships. You are responsible for your decisions, interests, and hobbies. What you allow yourself is what you get, but on the condition that you draw conclusions responsibly.

• The ability to enjoy life. Do you enjoy enjoying a cup of coffee in bed, lounging around at lunchtime, or reading your favorite books until nightfall? Allow yourself to live like this if you love yourself.

• Do not blame yourself for mistakes, and do not criticize for failures. Accepting mistakes, focusing attention on successes, and never criticizing yourself is the algorithm of actions of a person who has self-love and relationships.

• Accept your emotions and be able to express them. A person has the right to negative emotions, and this is absolutely normal because he is not a mechanical robot. By loving yourself, you allow the emotions you feel to be voiced: “I’m scared,” “I’m uncomfortable,” “I miss you,” etc.

• Independence from the opinions of other people. This means that you yourself influence your mood, and do not go into a state of depression or deep resentment, because of the words spoken to you, or someone else's actions.

• Sympathy for yourself. Why is self-love important in a relationship? You don't need other people's approval for your appearance. It is enough to look in the mirror and understand that you like yourself, not only from the point of view of the physical body but also internally.

• The absence of a chronic sense of guilt for what has been done or not yet done. A priori, a person is not to blame for someone’s mistakes, the bad mood of the boss, the absent-mindedness of the spouse, the rudeness of the saleswoman in the store, etc. If you really didn’t do anything wrong, don’t put the burden of guilt on your shoulders - this is another criterion for self-love.

• Ability to allocate time for work and rest, refusal to work for wear and tear. Yes, you can literally “burn out” at work, trying to be the best and earn a kind word from your boss. Do you need it? Does it make you happier? People who love themselves never do this because no workaholic has saved and made the world happier.

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