Bored in relationship: How to deal with it?

26.07.2019

Can long-distance relationships work? Researchers from the American Center for the study of relationships at a distance (yes, imagine, there is one!) include the latest economic situation and the Internet into the list of the root causes for divorces. The conclusion, in general, is obvious: the increasing mobility of the workforce does not affect the quality of personal life in the best way and contributes greatly to the cost of a relationship at a distance. So, do numerous dating sites: every year tens of thousands of people find each other on the Internet despite geography. Still, do long-distance relationships work?

Students are also under the "risk" of getting into distance relationship as they quit studying and go to other cities and countries for the sake of their first great love. The ease with which people move around the world and take up projects in different parts of the globe has led to the emergence of a phenomenon of remote relationships or, as it is called by sociologists, a remote family. Their number is increasing year by year. The difference of such couples from the "traditional" is that the spouses do not live together (usually because of work), maintaining a gentle romantic relationship and not going to break up.

As for relationships at a distance, according to psychologists, this is an option for those people who value personal freedom. Can long-distance relationships work? If this is what you want. But it is important that this format of relations suits both. In this way, relationships can be developed. But even such an option does not mean that such relationships are possible permanently. Because the separation can still be depleting.

Long-Distance Relationship Issues You Need to Deal With

Of course, it is very good when your partner is sitting next to you at the same desk at university or living in the next house. Much worse if they are here, next to you only today, and tomorrow they will leave somewhere for hundreds or even thousands of kilometers, and you will not be able to meet for many weeks and months. Yes, the world of long-distance relationships is not so sweet. But even you can get used to it.

First, do not panic, sometimes such relationships develop quite successfully. Some couples begin to meet in high school and then go to different universities, but still stay together. Others meet on summer holidays, but often come to each other throughout the year, and they manage to save their feelings. Long-distance relationships are not a sentence. However, which issues should you be prepared for?

Loneliness

It is hard to stay alone after the meeting and realize you have a partner. Because when we do not feel the physical presence of a person, it seems to us that we are not dating anyone, so our brain and body get confused. The significance of another person diminishes, the need for happiness and passion fade, and we come to realize how tired of the long-distance relationship we are. Facing the hopelessness of such an alliance, which only complicates life and does not allow to move further, fully grow and develop, people sometimes understand that it's time to put an end to this loneliness.

Jealousy

Usually, the main enemies of relationships at a considerable distance are doubt, fear, and distrust. Many of us are used to the fact that our soulmate is always near. Therefore, when a partner departs, and there is a distance of hundreds, and even thousands of kilometers between you, doubts start arising in your heart.

The main problem is the uncertainty in the feelings of another person. That's why you often start demanding more frequent phone calls, messages and conversations to confirm that the connection is still alive, or your partner isn’t surfing through any website to meet girls. But you just need to reassure your fears. Although this is undoubtedly very difficult.

Boredom

One more minus of the relationships at a distance is longing, and melancholy after separation. However, instead of having to spend the evenings, looking at the photos of a loved one and sighing sadly, it's worth brighten up your life. After all, this meeting was not the last, but communicating with an interesting, successful and positive person is much more enjoyable. The study, work, get busy with hobbies, meetings with friends do everything to raise your mood.

Constant dirty thoughts

Lack of physical contact plays an important role. Most of the information about the world around us we receive from touches, gestures, facial expressions. In long-distance relationships, all this is unavailable. This may lead to misunderstandings. Even video communication does not provide such understanding as physical contact. You end up thinking about your last sex for months between meeting at work, study or when doing dishes and nothings saves you from it.

The Best You Can Get From a Long-Distant Relationship

Love at a distance has its advantages, which should not be forgotten. Couples in which people rarely see each other often retain the passion and freshness of feelings in relationships. People cherish the time spent together and try to spend it more romantically and diversely than living together as partners. People in a long-distance relationship may find it easier to preserve their individuality. They remain independent, do not sacrifice their interests and get more opportunities to realize themselves. This is often lacking for those who live together for many years and feel infatuated.

You start valuing time spent together

When two people are together 24 hours a day (or even eight, this makes a small difference), sooner or later they begin to get used to each other. If you eat the most delicious dessert in the world for every meal, sooner or later you will get fed up with it. Alas, in the relationships, everything is the same, but temporary separation corrects it in its way.

You become more inventive in issues of intimacy

Lovers, spending a few days a month in bed together, usually try to fill this time with romance and tenderness. They value hours, minutes and even seconds spent together. It's all about recognition, compliments, great sex, and each meeting is similar to the first date. When you know that your time is limited, you will try to make the most out of it (an important tip on how to make long-distance relationships work – spice up your sex and make every night together unforgettable!)

You have more time on relationships with friends and family

More free time is always great. This is especially true in those cases where you are constantly lacking it and cannot keep up with everything and be on top of your diary. You can allow yourself to forget about things for a while and rest as you should. Or, on the contrary, to plunge into these deeds with a head without a clutter of conscience. Because there is no other person near you should constantly think about.

You always have an opportunity to travel

What can be a better opportunity to explore the world or learn another language than start dating a foreigner or a person that lives in another country? This is a great way to constantly move, change the location and experience the real dynamic of life. Money, time spent on the road and spontaneous plans do not matter when you buy the most expensive ticket to see you beloved.

Your dates bring more fun

If you meet once a month, each of your meetings may be unforgettable, even if you have been together for five years. Even the most pragmatic partner in the world understands that each of your rare meetings is a special event so it is vital to put off all other plans and invest a little bit of romance into your dates. You can come up with new plans and long-distance relationship activities each time you see each other, and thus your couple will not lack fun! What is more, do not forget about reminding each other of your feeling and mental presence, t-shirts that smell like you or favorite perfumes make perfect long-distance relationship gifts.

Long-Distance Relationship Ideas to Make Them Work

Relationships are always difficult, even if you live in the same apartment. Listen to yourself. If your feelings are strong enough to cope with the difficulties of separation, try to do everything so that you can survive it. Honesty combined with love and devotion will create a strong bond, no matter how many kilometers separate you. And when it seems that you want to give up, these long-distance relationship ideas will help you.

Idea 1. Evaluate your feelings

If you met on the last evening in the summer camp and walked for a couple of hours, the chances that you will build strong relationships at a distance, and then meet after separation and live happily ever after, are not so big. Of course, anything can happen, but still, to maintain such “remote” relationships, you need a solid foundation. So think about how strong your feelings are and how much you value each other. Have you talked about your future? Are you ready for such difficulties? For relationships at a distance, complete trust is especially important. Because otherwise, you will have to suffer from jealousy and doubt every day. Are you committed to each other? Would you both admit if you started dating someone else? Discuss this in advance so as not to waste your time and nerves.

Idea 2. Be always in touch

One of the basic principles of how to make long-distance relationships work is to maintain an emotional connection. Try to communicate with each other in all possible ways. Exchange SMS, voice messages, short videos, photos, new cool songs. But remember that everything must be mutual. You should not constantly call and be protrusive if you do not notice the same feedback.

Idea 3. Regular life interests are important

Communication in instant messengers and via video apps is, of course, great. But you should have some other common interests and hobbies. Otherwise, it all comes down to the fact that you will be united only by constant telephone conversations and occasional sex when meeting. You can watch TV shows and movies together, cook dinners together or go out for a run or a walk. You can even study together! Start learning to play the guitar, learn a new language or learn Photoshop at the same time. These are great ways to feel the mental bond.

Idea 4. Visit them as often as possible

You can keep in touch in chat rooms, on the phone, and through video calls, but regular personal meetings are irreplaceable. Even if it seems to you that their “goodnight my sun” every night on the phone before bed is what you need, they may have a completely different opinion. For most people, situations experienced together are most significant. For others, it is about talks and promises. Unfortunately, the relationship without the possibility of a personal meeting is doomed to failure. So, all long-distance relationship ideas are about one thing – just buy tickets and go see the person you love.

Idea 5. Get used to partings

Each time, preparing for a meeting and happily squealing when you see your love after a long separation is true happiness. But every meeting will be accompanied by separation. How to make a long-distance relationship work? Get ready for the fact that you will have to endure a lot of goodbyes and shed an ocean of tears. Decide whether you want to constantly feel so many sad emotions and whether your relationship is worth such a strain.

Idea 6. Live your own life

If you are together only one day per month, this does not mean that you need to close the room and look at their Instagram photos with anxiety the rest of the time. Do not forget that there is still a lot of interesting things in the world. Go out with your friends, go in for sports, learn new things, have fun, and in general, don’t waste your youth on despondency and expectations. When you don't enjoy your life – it still passes. Better text your beloved in the evening before bedtime and enjoy each other's success.

Idea 7. Support each other

It is not necessary to be physically close to support a person in a difficult moment. You should always be ready to help if any of you has difficulties, problems or a bad mood. If your partner copes with their problems alone every time, sooner or later they will find that you are no longer needed, there are so many single women around. By supporting each other, you create interdependence, which is simply necessary for relationships at a distance.

Long-Distance Relationship Rules

Nowadays, more and more people live far from their soulmates. There may be many reasons for this, for example, new career prospects or education. In any case, long-distance relationships are a serious test for love.

Is it possible to keep relationships at a distance? Maintaining a remote relationship is much more difficult than the usual, they require a constant effort of both partners. Here are some useful long-distance relationship tips for those who are forced to live far from their loved one.

Communicate regularly but leave some space

Of course, a variety of instant messengers allows staying in touch with your beloved all day. But still, try to talk with each other more often, and preferably in Skype, rather than written messages. In correspondence, it is impossible to accurately convey intonation, even if you have known each other for a long time together and perfectly. In a telephone conversation, you do not see each other's facial expressions, so you lose a lot. However, if the person is tired or not in the mood to talk – give them personal space and respect their choice. It is hard in general to fight with jealousy and willing to control your partner, and in a relationship at a distance, it is almost impossible. Therefore, just avoid your thoughts about it. All you can do is trust your partner, there are no other options.

Be honest with each other

It is clear that without trust, no normal relationship is possible, moreover, the relationship at a distance. You should try as much as possible to earn the trust of your partner and do not let them down. No need to think that since they do not see you, you can do whatever you want. Honestly inform them about your plans, even about those that they might not like. It is much better than a lie, which will only make the situation worse. Your partner must be sure that you are not cheating on them. And you, accordingly, should not give them even a reason to think about it. You understand perfectly well how important loyalty and devotion are in a distance relationship. Try not to let the person you love down, be as sincere as possible with them and not lie. And then you can demand from them the same behavior.

Be supportive and positive

It is another important tip on how to keep a long-distance relationship. Do not turn your life into a waiting room. It is important to understand that there are only two options: either you live life to the fullest, yes, as long as each of you has their own or you break up. People are poorly adapted to suffering, our psyche seeks to reject everything that is associated with negative feelings. So, the more you worry about the fact that the beloved one is far away from you, the sooner you will understand that this stranger, in essence, is a person who annoys you wildly. And, perhaps, you will cease to answer their calls. If this outcome does not suit you, try to worry as little as possible about the fact that your darling is not near. It is temporary, it is not forever.

Long-distance relationships sooner or later must end and grow into regular offline ones. This is the main rule for those who were separated by the circumstances. Everything that causes unpleasant emotions must finish, and long-distance relationships very often make people suffer. Talk about the future, set your couple a goal. A year, two, three, and even ten, but both of you should treat this date as a target. With a clear goal ahead, it's much easier to go further. This is a well-known psychological trick: when people realize that they need to endure pain for exactly five minutes, it becomes less severe.

Fix the deadline and do not forget about it. Build plans, do not keep silent, and remember that there are no guarantees. Long-distance relationships may come out great, and may not. But they definitely should have a chance.