Tips: How to Regain Respect in a Relationship

28.06.2023

How to regain respect in a relationship? Respect for a man is the foundation of a happy relationship. Having met “the one,” women see in a guy only the virtues of the mind, sense of humor, and readiness to help at any moment. But six months later, rose-colored glasses disappear. It turns out that the chosen one smokes in the car, goes on a solo trip every weekend, and prefers to watch TV shows instead of walking the dog. Respect disappears, along with it - love, passion, and harmony. What does respect mean in a relationship, why and why respect a man, and what will happen if this is not done?

Mutual respect in a relationship

Often women understand how important respect is in a couple, but they cannot show this feeling to a partner. Respect is a respectful attitude based on the recognition of merit. Let's face it; everyone has merit. But in a long relationship, people sometimes stop seeing each other's strengths and focus on each other's weaknesses.

Reasons for lost respect in a relationship:

• The “respect must be earned” attitude. Forces a partner to constantly work hard for the sake of your favorable smile. Of course, even an ideal man cannot withstand such a rhythm, gradually losing respect in women's eyes.

• The absence of an example of a strong man in childhood. Growing up without a father (or with a "problematic" father), girls do not understand the role of a guy in a relationship. They have an example of a strong woman - a mother who independently solves any problems. In such a scheme, a man seems to be an unnecessary element.

• Influence of modern culture. How to demand respect in a relationship? Many films and series also do not contribute to the formation of a deep respect for the male sex. Often guys are shown as weak, lazy characters living off the family. In addition, many girls have their own list of responsibilities of a man. If the partner does not fulfill them, he quickly loses the status of the Prince.

Why is respect important in a relationship?

What happens when a girl ceases to respect her chosen one? From a girl's point of view:

• She notices more and more flaws.

• Annoyance grows: “does not help around the house,” “leaves dirty dishes,” “choose a stupid gift.”

• Libido decreases: a disgruntled woman is not able to relax and really wants a man.

• The quality of sex is deteriorating: a feeling of discord in the family is created.

• Mutual grievances accumulate, and claims and quarrels flare up for any reason.

• Women's attitude changes from "That's the perfect guy!" to “Why am I wasting time with a loser?” Although the person objectively remained exactly the same as on the first date.

What does a man feel at this time?

• Every day he sees in the eyes of his beloved less joy and more pent-up discontent.

• It seems to him that the partner has become less attractive. This is explained by hormones: a satisfied woman “exudes” oxytocin, the hormone of love, and an unhappy woman “smells” of cortisol, the stress hormone. In other words, there are no more pheromones, and the "chemistry" disappears.

• The house from a "safe harbor" turns into a place of hostilities, where he hears: "Must do this, must do that," "did it badly," "How long can you wait," "But my girlfriend has a husband."

• As a result, relationships collapse. Each believes that the other is to blame. In fact, the reason lies in the lack of respect.

How to show respect in a relationship?

Do you want to save a relationship? You need to learn to respect your partner. Thus, you respect your own choice, yourself. How to do it?

• Accept the person as he is. This does not mean that you have to put up with an alcoholic or an abuser! You are always free to break any connection if a guy is rude and does not communicate well with you. But it is not necessary to remake it, to believe that under the influence of your love, it will change. If you want to correct your partner's behavior, just talk to him.

• Trust your partner's decisions. How to build respect in a relationship? It can be difficult for girls to relax and let a man "steer." However, this is the only way the guy wakes up with a sense of responsibility for the family.

• See the dignity of a loved one. Remember how wonderful a man was for you at the time of your acquaintance! You appreciated his romanticism or pragmatism, business acumen, or deep dreaminess. He has not changed - all these qualities live in him. Remember this, and then you will keep falling in love for many years.

• Do not criticize your partner in front of strangers. How to ask for respect in a relationship? It's better not to criticize at all. You can express your concerns, disapproval, or request, but in a mild manner. For example, using the “Compliment + Program + Compliment” technique.

Strong relationships are built on respect. How to gain self-respect in a relationship? But it is equally important to be able to defend personal boundaries, continues to grow and develop as a person, and constructively build dialogues with a partner.

When you lose respect for your partner

One of the reasons for the loss of respect is the inability to respect the territory of another person. We forget that even a close and dear person who was now nearby was once unfamiliar and a stranger; we do not perceive him as a separate person with his own shortcomings and virtues. We do not see the advantages and notice the disadvantages.

When two people have just met and fallen in love, respecting each other is not difficult because all attention, actions, and desires are directed only to one person.

Lovers try to become one whole, approaching each other in such a way as to open up to each other as much as possible. And over time, the boundaries between me and the other person blur; it seems that the other is a continuation, and I can treat him the same way as myself. And this means controlling another, demanding something from him; now he owes me something. And when the love passes, the relationship comes to a new level; you begin to see other sides of your beloved. A person suddenly has flaws; sometimes, the other does unpleasant things or, it seems to him, behaves completely wrong. Relationships lose respect. The fact that you couldn’t even allow yourself at the beginning of the relationship, at the moment of falling in love, turns out to be normal even after some time. Two people allow themselves to relax and begin to behave as they, please. 

Respect for your partner is keeping a distance and respecting boundaries. Respect is manifested in the willingness and ability to respect the boundaries of territories between two people.

How to get respect back from a girlfriend?

Millions of men live excellently next to women who do not put in a penny and do not really worry about this. They are even comfortable: being in the eternal role of gouging the irresponsible, they can throw off the lion's share of tedious partner duties.

Another thing is that women who respect their partners feel much happier and calmer.

Capricious, arranging scenes, behaving illogically, women subconsciously test you for strength. And, I must say, we often brilliantly fail these tests. Although for a girl to have respect for you (even if carefully hidden), it is not at all necessary to be a super guy. It is enough to take into service, for example, at least some of the following points.

How to make your girlfriend respect you?

• Do not scream. Even newborn kittens know how to raise their voices at opponents, so the ability to make loud noises in moments of excitement does not at all give you weight. Shouting is a sign of weakness, a sign that you are almost losing control of the situation, for which you are already drawing on the last reserves. Children scream more often than women; women scream more often than men. Very strong men don't raise their voices at all because they don't need to.

• Don't be too quick to judge anyone. Eastern wisdom says the enemy must be chosen more carefully than the friend. A man who easily labels those around him as “goat,” “idiot,” “scoundrel,” and so on causes the ladies to have a fair suspicion that he is not really ready to fight with anyone, and his anger and contempt do not mean anything.

• Recognize someone else's right. It's very hard to admit that you were wrong. Weak people never do this. Even when they are asked directly: “Well, now you admit that you were wrong?” - at best, they laugh and change the subject or start looking for ridiculous excuses, which, in turn, causes irritation and a dismissive attitude among the interlocutors. In strong people, their gigantic store of self-respect does not diminish from the recognition of the fact that somewhere they were mistaken. For this reason, they do not have such problems.

• Pity yourself silently. There are times when it is simply necessary to resort to such a powerful tool as the sympathy of loved ones. But normal loved ones will understand when you need it. Especially women, who are usually so generous with this feeling. There is no need to stimulate female pity with tearful stories about how you are not loved, not appreciated, or offended. You can pity and respect a person at the same time, but not when he insistently demands to comfort himself over trifles.

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