True Love: Signs of a Healthy Relationship

21.07.2023

What does a healthy relationship look like? We all grew up in the culture of Disney cartoons, beautiful fairy tales, and romantic films. They believed that connections always ended with the words “lived happily ever after,” just wave a magic wand or fall in love with a prince or princess.

However, no matter what right person you meet, this does not guarantee the qualities of a healthy relationship and the desired happy ending. To live happily ever after in a healthy relationship, you need to work and, above all, with your head.

Therefore, the only way to build healthy connections is to be a healthy, mature, and open person. Most get stuck in childhood traumas and make up for it with the help of a partner.

Sometimes this model works; partners can close each other's spiritual deficits. However, happiness in these connections will be episodic; over time, there will still be a need to move to a more mature level.

Signs of a healthy relationship formation

Healthy connections can even look boring because usually there are no violent quarrels and reconciliations, breaks and restorations, or scandals. Therefore, many subconsciously deliberately avoid them.

However, the beauty of a healthy relationship is that there is no place for violence, but there is respect for oneself and the other, which is stronger than any rules and norms. The main manifestations of a healthy connection are:

• Sincere interest in the partner's life. Interest does not imply interference, imposing one's opinion, control, advice, criticism, and envy. This is only possible when you see your partner as a separate person with their own views, achievements, and failures. When it is interesting what he thinks, feels, and strives for, to look at another person from such an angle, you must first feel like such a separate adult person.

• Caution for each other's feelings. Aspects of a healthy relationship and intimacy in a couple involve knowing the partner's weaknesses and pain points. In a toxic connection, it can be used for manipulation, and in quarrels, spears can be thrown there. But in a healthy connection to these delicate topics, as a rule, a caring attitude. When you know that no one will sting in the most sensitive areas and will not pressure vulnerable areas, trust and security are formed in connections.

• A healthy relationship is based on basic trust. Both partners are honest with each other, admit their own imperfections and possible mistakes, and are ready to give in and change. It is essential that this be a mutual process that would help strengthen connections and grow trust, the psychologist notes.

• Definition of a healthy relationship - the ability to forgive. This is not an easy process for both because it requires internal effort. However, no relationship can do without it. The one who asks for forgiveness must assume that he made a mistake, disappointed, or offended a loved one. And the one who forgives is ready to understand and accept the other without further condemnation.

• Gratitude. When we are grateful to a partner for being there and doing a lot for us and our connections, love becomes an additional resource that multiplies our strengths and becomes a support. Therefore, when we do something for another or a relationship in general, we feel more fulfilled.

• Common ideals and values. You can differ in personal qualities, views, and hobbies and do not agree with each other in everything, but the basic values and views on global things should be common:

• principles and limits of the norm;

• understanding of good and evil;

• plans and vision of the future.

• Interdependence. While it's important to be a separate adult in a healthy connection, it's essential to acknowledge some dependence on your partner as well, and that's the best sign of a healthy relationship. Although it is not easy to recognize one's own vulnerability and need for relationships, it is this balance between one's own autonomy and the need for another that is fundamental to building happy connections and strong bonds. This allows you to feel the value of connections; go through conflicts without destroying the union; allocate responsibilities and make decisions, take into account the interests of the partner; look for points of convergence, not divisions.

• Sexual desire. You should not assume that sex is for the period of falling in love and then only for duties and building a common future. Sex is a vivid indicator of relationships; he makes them alive, and he is necessarily included in the characteristics of healthy relationships. Of course, over time, sexual attraction will change, and passion will fade, but in any case, the partner must attract you physically. This will no longer be about appearance and body because the more closeness between partners, the more diverse the sexual life becomes, which may not be limited only to physical contact. Therefore, develop your erotic intellect, explore what exactly gives your loved one pleasure, and discuss it together and practice.

• Being in a healthy relationship means having no illusions. No connection is complete without conflict, jealousy, loss, and the need to defend your boundaries - this cannot be avoided, but it is possible to change the attitude towards these crises. It is important that both partners understand that it is only through trials that there is an opportunity to grow. At the same time, not only growth in connections will be noticeable, but also personal growth.

• Am I in a healthy relationship if there is love in them? This is the essential ingredient that, for some reason, is constantly added to cakes, but they forget to add it to daily communication. Love is the basis of connections and helps to maintain them for a long time. It is essential to feed it with genuine spiritual intimacy, study each other, and take steps toward a meeting. After all, if falling in love is a trailer where the brightest moments are shown, then love is the film itself, where you yourself are the director and actors.

What's a healthy relationship?

Healthy relationships are the ideal that people aspire to. However, often instead of them, we find ourselves in destructive connections that destroy us.

Things in a healthy relationship

If you have a healthy connection, then this list of aspects will be the basis of communication and relationships with a partner.

• Independence. In a healthy relationship, both partners maintain their individuality, autonomy, and independence. In connections, they support their own interests, have their own goals and friends.

• Mutual support. Healthy connections are characterized by mutual support and understanding. Thus, partners support each other in achieving personal goals and development.

• Quality communication. Healthy connections are based on open and effective communication. Partners assertively talk about their feelings, needs, and expectations, resolve conflicts through dialogue and hear each other.

• Mutual trust. Healthy relationships are built on mutual trust because, without trust, there can be no healthy communication. Partners can count on each other and trust frankness and devotion.

• Equality. Healthy connections are characterized by equality. Both partners in a connection can earn money, do household chores, take care of a child, or give expensive gifts.

Recognize Dependent Relationships

Dependent connections are a form of unhealthy relationships in which one partner becomes emotionally, psychologically, or physically dependent on the other. Here are the main features of dependent connections:

• Emotional dependence. One partner becomes emotionally dependent on the other, striving for constant confirmation, affection, and attention. He may experience dissatisfaction and low self-esteem if he does not receive the necessary attention or recognition.

• Support imbalance. For example, when one partner constantly provides help or support, and the other becomes dependent on it, then the relationship moves into the plane of codependency and turns into a victim-savior model.

• Broken communication. In dependent connections, insufficient or passive communication may lead to misunderstandings and displeasure.

• Control and manipulation. Lack of trust turns connections into eternal scenes of jealousy and control.

• One partner can control and manipulate to provide their need for constant dominant control over the other. Such a person may use provocation and threats to get the attention and sense of control they want.

• Relationship imbalance. Dependent connections often characterize an imbalance of power and equality. The dependent partner often becomes passive, submitting to the desires of the other and giving up their own needs and desires.

• Isolation from society. The dependent partner may be separated from friends, family, and social circles as the controlling partner attempts to limit his contact and influence with other people.

• Physical or emotionally violent behavior. In some addictive relationships, physical or emotionally abusive behavior may be present.

• Sometimes codependency keeps a connection alive with no chance of a happy future.

If all of the above items are not in your connection, you can positively answer the question, is my relationship healthy?

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