How to Find Out a Relationship Is Getting Serious
17.06.2020
In the 21st century, when women's emancipation has reached almost its maximum, and even in some power sports, women are on equal terms with men, the development of interpersonal relationships doesn't have strict scenarios anymore.
Women can achieve the same results as men through physical training. Psychologically, now a lot depends on people and the connection between them. Therefore, to say that men are not interested in relationships or that a woman is always more oriented towards building relationships would be false. Serious relationship meaning varies from one couple to another, and only people in love decide when they are ready to switch to another stage. What makes a relationship serious then?
What Does a Serious Relationship Mean?
A serious relationship is associated not only with the satisfaction of situational needs. That is, two people should have some purpose in this relationship. These goals may be different, but they no longer consist of simple physical love and material support or quality joint time spending. When the partners seek to perform more vital tasks with the help of their significant other, when they want to start a large business together, grow mentally, develop outside the relationship, or start a family — their union can be considered serious.
These goals are not associated only with a simple pleasure from the process. You seek meeting her parents because you know how important it is for her and that they are a part of her life, her family. You want to be another element of this giant puzzle of the partner’s world. You seek ways to become better not because of your egocentric goals but to become better for the beloved one. You also want to bear some kind of responsibility for these relations.
Responsibility can be different. Simple responsibility is money. You invest money and time into your significant other. For this reason, you want payback. If you buy a house together, the chances that you will stay in this relationship longer are quite high. There are time costs. This is a more complicated responsibility because it is more difficult to calculate. You dedicate a lot of time to work on yourself, to study the person, and build this relationship. How hard the psychological work required to build relationships can be — this is also a separate issue.
Another meaning that psychologists have already put into the seriousness of the relationship is that you start taking care not only of your own needs but those of the partner. In a serious relationship, you feel a genuine urge to make them happy. We often forget that there are two people in a relationship because, most of all, we are naturally interested in our needs. Serious dating suggests that we step into the shoes of the partner, imagined their pain and problems, cared for them as we would for ourselves.
Signs a Relationship Is Getting Serious
When you are dating girls online, the only things that matter to you are signs you're in a relationship. At the initial stage, when you are unsure whether this is "your person" and want to turn everything back, you only open up to each other. But months and years pass, and you start to feel something more, a stable sense of trust and confidence in another person.
You no longer fear that they may leave you, now you get intimidated by the new stage that you enter. Luckily, you are not going into it alone. Your partner may feel as scared as you are. Here are the signs a casual relationship is getting serious about helping you get the hang of your feelings.
They say good things about you
We are all human beings, and we all have pros and cons, but if your partner exaggerates the first and does not seem to notice the second, they are deeply in love. Of course, not so much time will pass, and they will begin to notice that your cooking is not like their mother's, that in anger your pretty face doesn't look so cute, and that you constantly forget to do some small thing that irritates them. In the meantime, if your beloved one tells other people only the best about you, it means they see you like that. Listen to what details they mention — this is how they would like other people to imagine you. Attributes like "responsible, intelligent, smart, gentle, supportive, affectionate" mean they see their life partner in you.
They speak of your couple on plural
The moment when the two "I" turn into one "we" can be considered the beginning of a serious relationship. If the question, "How did you spend your weekend?" your partner doesn't answer, "I went to the cinema with my beloved," but "We went to the cinema," it means a lot. For men, this one of the best signs she wants a serious relationship with you. When the girl thinks about you all the time and slowly dissolves in your union, she definitely takes you seriously.
They understand your needs
Adults and mature people are sympathetic to each other's needs, especially in serious relationships that require trust, respect, and a strong connection. If you manage not to throw tantrums when something goes not as you wanted it to, if your beloved endues the family gatherings, and you are capable of many other deeds for the sake of each other — this is serious love. Your couple definitely has a future, and a bright future, especially because the fading of the egocentrism comes at the later stages of the relationships. If this is what already happens to you, this is a good start of a committed union.
They are happy with you
A high concentration of happiness indicates that the person is in love and confident in the future. You not only go on dates and learn each other's biographical data but also get connected by a stronger connection. They are constantly in a sublime mood, and even a kilometer-long traffic jam is not able to get them crazy (well, unless they rush for a meeting with you). Your problems are their problems, and your beloved is happy to solve them. They do not get irritated by your flaws and think about you in general, as a complete individual who has more strong than weak sides.
They think your relationship is perfect
This may be a big mistake, but your partner sincerely believes that they are very lucky with you, and your relationship is a hundred times better than the relationship of their friends and acquaintances. This unshakable faith in the success of your union is one of the signs a relationship is getting serious, and the matter may even end in starting a family. They boast about you in front of their friends and are happy to present you to whatever new people they meet proudly calling you their love. It is important to be confident about the relationship to switch to another stage. Otherwise, the serious union can not be built based on unstable, toxic, and distant relationships.
They pay no attention to others
The person considers you “one and only,” so the rest of the singles do not seem as attractive and beautiful as they were in the past. Your partner no longer talks about other people because this gestalt is closed for them, you have already met each other, and there is no need to stay on alert so as not to miss a better match. They get all relaxed and do not raise the topic of other people in a conversation with you. Of course, we are all humans, and who doesn't notice a person of the opposite sex who has a perfect body or a model face? But this is only the outer surface. Your beloved doesn't pay attention to other pretty singles because you are their universe. They do not need to search anymore.
They are ready to sacrifice for you
To sacrifice something for another person and not expect the same back is a manifestation of pure and unconditional love. When your interests become unimportant, when self-serving motives disappear, when even the most inveterate egoist becomes selfless and ready to take off their last shirt to warn you — those are signs of a serious relationship. For the sake of the happiness of a loved one, you are capable of everything. No fear limits you. When does a relationship become serious? You no longer doubt, "What will other people think of me if I make my partner such an expensive gift? Do I really want to spend so much?" you just give away everything you have, your time, money, love, and those resources seem infinite.
What to Do If a Relationship Is Getting Serious
A tide of emotions covers you when you realize that you have fallen in love for real, and there is no way coming back. When the connection between you gets serious, you cease to be a separate person and now become a part of the giant whole. Of course, you are two individuals, but the new level comes when you support, love, care for, and protect each other as you protect yourself.
How to give your relationship enough energy to pass this important step? There are some psychological games and methods from the experts who teach you to trust and support each other. When things get more serious, there is nothing scary about this. Take the hand of your partner and enter this new life together.
Dial of relationship
Few people believe in love at first sight. You can get carried away, lose your head, plunge into flirting, start easy meetings for coffee, chat, but when does love come? How much time do we need to spend with a person to understand that we are ready for another step? Do we trust the words, or are they so trapped in a series of repetitions that their magic power has lost its sense? In fact, a lot depends on you. When your relationships start to gain momentum, do not rush. Think twice whether you feel the same when you say, "I love you" to each other. Do not overuse this world because it will lose its meaning. Only you two know when it is time to move forward.
Destination
If at least a fraction of self-criticism is inherent in you, you will agree that there are problems that you've created yourself (if not most of them) and those that do not depend on you. It is manifested in relations with another person as well. For example, you begin to demand your partner to live up to your expectation, like moving together or making a proposal. You will not achieve anything by these actions. If your chosen one is not ready for this, they will find a reason not to do it. You keep pushing, but the process is not moving. In such situations, you suffer from your own premature decisions. Trying to get what we want as soon as possible, we move it away from ourselves. It is difficult to decide on a serious step when you are constantly being pushed towards this. A person in a relationship must have personal n space to decide on their own. You should see your destination, but how long it will take to get there — depends not only on you. What is more, the destinations of you and your partner must coincide.
A good start
Milan Kundera, in the novel "The Unbearable Lightness of Being," noted that the way both partners behave in the first stages of a relationship sets the tone for everything that follows. Therefore, it is important to agree when we make the foundation of our couple because all these principles will be taken, exaggerated, and multiplied to build a serious union. In any case, even living separately, two people have certain rituals at the beginning of the relationship: they spend the weekend together, they have to discuss all important decisions together, and wait for a gentle SMS in the morning. We do not remind each other about them, but these small traditions shape our joint future. The main thing is to ensure that they delight you, and not turn into a routine of days.
Justified efforts
It is easy to be with a person at first. When we are still romantic, when you do not know about their problems and weaknesses, you do not quarrel with their mother and are unaware of the difficulties in business. The closer you get, the clearer you can see what you'll have to put up with and accept, or fight and reject. In a relationship, you can rarely say for sure, "It was yesterday that I realized that I loved them!" It's like going into cool water: at first, you doubt whether it's worth swimming at all, but it becomes warm at some point, and you don't feel like swimming to the shore. And then we plunge headlong, neither sparing nor hiding the feelings. Therefore, if you fall in love, then you will be able to accept both sides of the coin. But no one promises that it will be easy.
Looking back
Unfortunately, we remember the events or words that triggered the sense of scattered feelings more clearly. We have our reasons not to forgive the things we do not want to while we can totally tolerate others. Then you have two roads. The first is to get out of this relationship, recognizing that the time of love is over. The second is to sort out the happy events of the past and decide whether they weigh more. Remember that only you two have the keys to your mutual happiness. When your relationship gets serious, you should reconsider the things you experienced with your partner. Are they worth it? Are you ready to stick to this one person for the rest of your life and believe that they will change? The advantage of a serious relationship is understanding why you want to be with this particular person, despite the difficulties. If you have this consideration, no matter what your beloved does, you will not lose the feelings for them, forgive, and see the person behind these actions. You will love yourself in this relationship and the person in them, not the idealized image you have created on the stage of romantic love.
When is a relationship serious? For some, this may come after the year, while it may take half a life for others. The goals of men and women when they talk about relationships are different and specific. For example, women try to determine whether a man takes her seriously. A man has more freedom in these terms because he has been historically deciding about when the couple is ready to switch to another level. However, modern people are, in general, more aware of their mental health and focused on creating long-term relationships. Creating a family, in different senses of the word, is no longer a simple formality.
Remember that even if you love your partner "to the moon and back," this does not mean that it will be easy for you to build a serious relationship with them. This is a job that sometimes requires pressure and unconditional love. How do you know if your partner is serious about you? Hopefully, you have found an answer to the question in the article above.