Is It Good To Date An Attention-Seeking Girl?
How to cope with attention seeking partner? We are unhappy when no one notices us, and loneliness kills us. On the other hand, seeking attention from others while in a relationship creates a lot of problems - both for the person himself and for his environment. The obsessive attention seeker becomes addicted to the approval of others, his self-esteem suffers, and anxiety and depression make him irritably demand more and more participation and support. Obsessive attention seekers tend to suffer from a histrionic personality disorder. Such people are called exalted or theatrical. They behave like bad actors on the stage - pathetically reciting and bursting into fake tears, falling into anger, and throwing tantrums. Girls with addicted to attention from guys get bored and feel miserable without attention if they stop being the center of everyone's attention, at least for a while. To attract people, they behave seductively and even provocatively, paying great attention to appearance and image. Their emotions, although stormy, are superficial: crying is quickly replaced by laughter and admiration - irritation. They are easily suggestible and consider those around them their friends. Relationships with other people seem closer to them than they really are. Theatrical personalities have the talent to divide loved ones, breaking them into clans and groups. In a teenager with histrionic personality disorder, one parent becomes "loved," the other is horribly accused, and then they suddenly switch roles. Suppose the theatrical person is knocked out as a boss. In that case, his subordinates feel divided into desirable and undesirable, favorites and scapegoats, with the leader receiving all the attention as a hero or a victim. In other words, obsessive attention seekers feed on other people's energy and create conflict by setting people against each other.
How to deal with attention seeking girlfriend?
Accept that attention-seeking is a pattern of behavior that is hard to change.
Don't fall for the theatrical trap. Notice when they try to quarrel with you and when you play roles imposed by others instead of remaining yourself.
Don't encourage the obsessive attention seeker. Avoid confrontations by remaining emotionally neutral. If the theatrical person is threatening to throw a tantrum or is burning with righteous anger, make it clear that you will pay attention to her only when she learns to control her emotions.
Don't try to shame the theatrical personality. The effect will be just the opposite.
Think about what the obsessive attention seeker is striving for. Intellectual interest in dramatic behavior creates a distance that allows you to reduce the intensity of emotions. Usually addicted to male attention psychology strives to become popular, famous, and admired. Think about what strengths will help her achieve her goal besides the desire to attract attention to herself at any cost.
Why attention seeking girlfriend?
There is a hackneyed phrase: "A woman appreciates the attention." Everyone is so accustomed to this cliché that they don’t even ask the question - why, in fact, does she appreciate it so much? The aspect of attention is one of the key elements that distinguish a man and a woman, without which it is impossible to understand the nature of both sexes.
Attention is a resource that has unequal value for different genders. Indeed, attention-seeking women are much more than men, especially if this attention is male. The need for male attention is an ancient instinct tied to the instinct of survival and motherhood. In primitive times, an era when the base of human instincts was formed, the attention of men, who acted as hunters and protectors, was the most valuable resource that women collected in all possible ways.
Male attention increases a woman's survival rate. Why is attention valuable? Evolution has laid in a man a basic instinct: "Protect a woman from danger," since she is extremely important for procreation. Tribes that did not follow this simple rule were weeded out by natural selection. This instinct is not particularly specialized; a man will seek to protect any woman who is in his field of attention. Naturally, this desire can not always be satisfied; sometimes, the instinct of self-preservation takes its toll. But even taking into account misfires, this feature is a significant bonus to the survival of the fair sex. The male sex does not have this advantage; the female instinct for protection is significantly narrowed and is focused mainly on their own children. In addition, even the female attention received is not of very high quality due to its defocused nature. A woman's attention seeker meaning pays attention to a man because she pays attention to everything around her and because he is valuable to her as a potential source of attention.
Women's attention contributes little to the survival of men. Why is this attention bonus important? Because in primitive societies, the stakes were very high. Humanity existed in a completely different world, a world filled with deadly threats. Death literally sat under every bush in the form of predators, warriors of another tribe, poisonous snakes, insects, diseases, natural disasters, and hunger. In the absence of medicine, any soreness could lead to death. Under these conditions, women, as representatives of the physically weaker and less aggressive sex, sought to maximize their own chances of survival by attracting men. In modern society, the need for survival has changed to the desire for comfort and convenience. A man can be “useful” for a woman and solve her problems. In the modern world, a girlfriend seeks attention on social media.
How to tell if a girl is using you for attention?
The field of attention of a man is significantly narrower than that of a woman. Receiving male attention, a woman takes it away from other women. If a woman's attention is like a street lamp, shining in all directions, covering a wide field of objects, while men have more of a searchlight with a narrow beam. The differences stem from the single-tasking of the male brain, as opposed to the multi-tasking female mindset. Concentration allows you to achieve better results in a particular case, however, focusing on one thing excludes others. A man who has missed a woman from his field of vision may miss the moment of threat, and the woman will die. The narrowness of male attention turns the latter into a limited resource for which women compete with each other. Female envy is a consequence of this competition. A woman strives in every possible way to convey the message: "I deserve attention; other women do not!"
Signs of attention seeking in adults
The more attention, the happier the woman, and the more she feels safe. Every act of attraction for a woman is a small victory. Beauty, as you know, attracts, so women strive to look attractive in the eyes of men. Friendliness, friendliness, and affection also help in this matter. Another technique is the manifestation of originality. In every possible way, a woman makes it clear that she is "not like everyone else," thereby using the property of the mind to refer to what stands out from the overall picture. At the same time, there are many more ways to attract, and some of them are not categorized as pleasant. If, after a squabble with a certain lady, you have an irritating thought, “What does this idiot really need ?!”, The answer to the question is that she needs attention, and, judging by your reaction, she achieved her goal. Introducing confusion or even rage are great ways to fix attention. The attraction also explains the well-known craving for drama among women. For beautiful ladies, any trifle can be a matter of life and death.
A woman wants attention without obligation. Since a woman can and wants to receive attention much more than she can provide, the equivalent exchange "You give me, I give you" is excluded. A woman needs more attention than she gives. Men's gifts to a woman, for example, should be carefully thought out, but she is generally not obliged to give anything. She tries to make it clear that a man's obsession with her is his problem, and she has nothing to do with it at all. All women's novels are built on this.
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