Signs of a controlling woman

07.08.2018

All people are quite different. Each and every person can act and behave in a certain way that is natural for this person. There are ruthless, reckless, proud, humble, courageous, kind, and greedy people all over. There is also a controlling manipulative personality. Your girlfriend is probably like that if you’re reading this. Controlling people have certain attitude and approach. They treat others as means to achieve things of self-interest. Manipulative people are difficult to get along with. They need to be treated accordingly and often even be managed because of their natural or social predisposal towards conflicting with people. Your girl might have a taste for arguing and likes to quarrel a lot. Not a big deal! Read further to know more about controlling personality disorder and controlling relationships. Better to find it out on the stage of online dating.

Сontrolling Behavior in a Relationship and Its Effects

Any controlling relationship is a misbalanced relationship. That is because it is dysfunctional in its nature. When one partner takes the role of a leader, it logically leads to the lack of balance. Ideally, partners should be equal and play equal roles in a relationship. A controlling relationship will sooner or later lead to certain issues. Here are some things you need to know about a controlling personality.

Manipulation

Manipulative people, especially women, can make others feel certain emotions and by this manipulate what others think and do. They do that by pretending and using weak spots or things talking about which other people find confusing and disturbing. Controlling personalities often either attract and charm other people or push them off completely. Manipulation is a way to make others do something, though letting them feel like they do it because they decided on their own.

Aggressiveness

Not all types of controlling personalities are aggressive. Some will always hide their predisposition to forcing their will on others. However, many controlling women become aggressive being unable to achieve their selfish goals. When manipulation is uncovered, a controlling personality is revealed. Thus, such girlfriend becomes aggressive or retreats. It is also true that many controlling personalities seem like looking for a fight. Perhaps, such people feel more comfortable while being in conflict.

Arguments

Controlling women like to argue. Even if there’s absolutely no reason, a controlling woman may simply come up with a cause to argue. Many people are like that and arguing with others makes them feel more alive. On the contrary, other people do not feel comfortable defending or attacking some positions. You may be surprised to hear that arguing is a good way to train your brain and become smarter. It helps to develop critical thinking abilities. Therefore, many controlling personalities actually benefit from their behavior. Moreover, manipulative people often succeed professionally because they make good entrepreneurs.

Lack of Understanding

Controlling behavior in a relationship causes miscommunication and misunderstanding. It might be impossible to act rationally and reach understanding through compromising. However, a controlling personality hates nothing else more than compromising and giving up own interests. That is how the psychology of a controlling manipulative person works. When willpower of one person dominates and prevails over the will of another partner, it causes all kinds of malfunction in a relationship. A properly organized and genuinely constructive man-woman relationship should be deprived of dominance, subjection, egoism, and submission. When these are present, it is hurtful for both parties.

Signs of a Controlling Woman in a Relationship

There are many different signs of a controlling woman that you can notice. Those are egoism, lack of sympathy, irritation, anxiety, etc. A controlling personality stresses out everyone around. Therefore, in order for a relationship to work properly, partners in a couple should work on their behavior, attitude, and approach to each other. Otherwise, partners risk breaking up because pursuing egoistic goals is completely opposite to what close personal relationships are made for. Partners should work together towards mutual goals and work like a team together and not against each other. There shouldn’t be any leaders in a perfectly healthy relationship.

Egoism

Egoism is a central and most common feature of all manipulative personalities. Controlling women are very egoistic. They think first and foremost about themselves and their goals. Selfishness is definitely a distinguishing feature of many controlling people. They typically consider their aims, thoughts, and desires to play a primary role in life. Manipulative women lack compassion and sympathy because they are naturally self-interested. Many people are the same deeply within but it never happens so that a person agrees with his or her selfishness. To be egoistic is generally practical but it is impractical when done in a relationship. It goes against the basic principles of relationships.

Mercantilism

Being mercantile is also one of the most common signs of a controlling girlfriend. Not all women manipulate and control their men in order to gain from it. However, some do. Therefore, look for what motivates your girlfriend to control you. How she might use you for her personal benefit? Using you automatically means disrespecting you as a personality. A truly loving person will be with you because of you and not because of something you possess or something that can be taken from you. Moreover, a truly loving girlfriend will be with you disregarding your status and possessions. Sounds too romantic and naïve? Well, there’s nothing wrong with living the dream instead of simply sticking with what you have.

Cheating

A controlling and manipulative woman can easily cheat on her partner. That is because dysfunctional relationships don’t satisfy partners properly. In the absence of satisfaction in a relationship, a controlling partner might start looking for it in other places. Moreover, a partner suffering from a controlling behavior might also very easily fall for somebody else seeking compassion and understanding. When it gets like that, it is only logical for partners to start thinking what their relationship is really about. And cheating can itself cause numerous different problems.

Being Too Emotional

Controlling women often can’t handle dealing with their own emotions. Thus, they can behave too emotionally and even hysterically. It is especially probable when their manipulation techniques and controlling tactics don’t work. Being unable to inflict control really pisses off controlling personalities. When their plans fail, they start to panic and cannot really come up to terms with how to act further. It is a good way to show controlling women their mistake. It doesn’t mean that they should be attacked, no. Egoism can only be treated with more kindness, compassion, sympathy, and understanding.

How to Deal with Controlling People

So, how to stop being controlling in the best possible way? First of all, a partner who suffers from being around controlling personalities should not take egoistic behavior as an example. Often the partner who suffers can start acting egoistic as well and become more selfish. That is not an option. It will only worsen the situation. On the contrary, more compassion, sympathy, patience, and understanding is required from a partner in order to point out the fact that controlling behavior and manipulation hurt a relationship. Read on and act immediately once you’ve noticed the first signs of a controlling relationship.

Talking

Talking always helps. Talk your problems out and listen to what your girlfriend has to say. State out loud your own concerns. Work on the solution. Without properly established communication channels it will be impossible for you to resolve your issues. Talk about what you want from a relationship, what you need, what you can’t stand, and how to compromise to make everybody happy. Sit and talk for a certain amount of time. Take a piece of paper and something to write. Put down your concerns, fears, and desires. Talk them out. Draw the line between your spheres of interest, come up with mutual goals, agree to respect each other’s dreams and aspirations. Think rationally and have a constructive brainstorm about the nature and goals of your relationship.

Counselling

Couple’s counselling can really help partners to resolve many complex issues that disallow a relationship to work properly. A psychiatrist can significantly improve the quality of communication and help partners to reach understanding. Moreover, a counsellor acting as a third party has a more objective and healthy view on the relationship because, essentially, he is not a part of it. A psychiatrist’s view on a relationship can really point out the existing problems. If one partner has a tendency to control the other partner, a psychiatrist will make it easier for such a partner to notice the improper behavior.

Taking Time Off

Separating for a month or a couple of weeks can be healthy. It can help partners to avoid reaching the points of extreme emotional exhaustion. Partners need to have a healthy approach to a relationship. A break in a relationship is a completely normal thing to do. Therefore, move out to your friend, take a vacation, talk less, and organize a relationship detox. In other words, don’t interact and communicate with your partner for some arranged amount of time. This time will allow you to come up with ideas that can be quite effective in solving your relationship crisis. A controlling woman might understand her mistake while another partner can understand better that manipulative behavior hurts. After that, return to your routine with a set of goals to start living a different life.

Setting Goals

Having a constructive and rational discussion of your relationship is easy and effective. Define why you two are together and what do you expect from your relationship in future. Having a certain set of goals is great because that is the only way for you to reach them. How can you fulfil your wildest dreams without even realizing what they are? Partners in serious long-term relationships usually have mutual goals they both want to reach. Therefore, go towards something that attracts you both and help each other in your journey. Be teammates, not enemies.

Some of the signs of a controlling man are completely the same as those of a controlling woman. However, some say that women nowadays are more inclined towards being controlling and manipulative. Nevertheless, it all depends on a person. A woman might be just as controlling as a man. Consider the provided guidelines to deal with having a controlling woman as your girlfriend. Good luck!