Talking vs Dating: What’s The Difference?


Having agreed to meet with a person in one place or another, you leave the house in a certain mood. In many ways, it depends on the nature of the meeting, which can be either friendly or romantic. To highlight the latter, it is customary to use the term "date." Often, it implies something more than ordinary communication with a friend over a cup of coffee. However, sometimes, it is quite difficult to figure out the difference between a date and hanging out. What do these familiar words mean? Are there any sings that can help you clarify the situation? First of all, it is necessary to briefly elaborate on the meaning of these two concepts to move to the most interesting part.

hanging out with a girl

What’s the difference: hanging out vs dating?

What does dating mean? Dating is one of the ways of social interaction, the purpose of which is to evaluate each other's suitability for creating a relationship. Usually, this term means an agreed meeting of two people, and it is always of a romantic nature. Dates become the basis for creating a long-term relationship. There are many scenarios for such meetings, which can differ dramatically depending on nationality, religious upbringing, customs, social class, etc. In general, every culture has their own norms that determine the behavior of people on a date.

What does hanging out mean? Hanging out is the simultaneous stay of two or more persons in a certain place with an eye to have fun or just pass the time. Often, it is quite unplanned and not romantic. You can be friends or acquaintances who have suddenly decided to spend time together but not alone.

Is it a date or hanging out?

It happens that on the one hand, it seems that you are just friends, but on the other hand, you feel a stronger connection between you, which you don't want to ignore anymore. Maybe, the girl does not look like your other female friends, maybe she behaves a little bit strange, but you still need proof. Let’s look at the following “Is it a date or hanging out quiz?” to make the final decision – the more matches you find, the more precise result you will get.

1. Is she hot and cold at the same time?

It can be annoying when the girl behaves goo-goo eyed and friendly, and then suddenly starts getting smart with you or even tries to avoid. It is quite hard to understand such a situation. You may think that the girl has a split personality, but the reality can be quite different. It might be a clumsy attempt to flirt with you, which means you need to continue the relationship further because it looks like a date.

2. Does she take her friends when you ask her out?

It’s great when the girl is always ready to meet with you despite whether it is a planned meeting or not. If she cancels her other meetings to hang out with you, then she is surely interested in your company. However, if she always takes her female friend with her, then she might perceive you as the future boyfriend of her friend. When you spend time with the girl while other friends hang out with you, then it is not about dating but about usual hanging out. What to do when hanging out with a girl? You can play video games, go to the cinema, visit a concert or just eat pizza with your mutual friends.

dating or hanging out 3. Does she look different when you ask her out?

Have you ever noticed the difference in the girl’s appearance when you ask her out and when you run into each other in the street? It’s not necessarily about a little black dress, heels and red lips, but she still looks more fresh and different when you don’t meet by chance. It means that she has spent hours to choose her outfit and look better. So, it’s not just hanging out with a friend, it looks more like a date or a preparation for it.

4. Does she talk about her personal life when you are alone?

If hanging out with a girl and other friends, she tries to find a cozy corner to be alone and to talk about some personal things, forgetting about the abstract topics like culture, politics and mutual friends’ relationships, then she wants to get to know you better. For example, she can talk about her family or student years, and ask questions to talk about you. In other words, she wants to look into your private life or open her own. This directly indicates that the girl thinks of you more than just of a friend. So, actually, there are many sings to find out the difference between hanging out vs dating.

5. Does she tease you?

When a girl feels absolutely comfortable with a man, and she doesn’t perceive him only as a friend, she can subconsciously start making jokes and wisecracks to draw his attention. Of course, she isn’t going to humiliate you, but an increased level of nervousness makes her check your reaction and try to understand your attitude. The girl is not interested in a strict formal stage of interaction. She wants to be with you on the same wave and move forward.

6. Does she ask you out if you stand idly by?

There are moments when it's hard for you to "keep up" with a girl. You are tired and want to relax, get distracted, stay home for several days, but she begins to write to you, call and offers to meet. However, it has nothing to do with a classical date. Usually, it’s an event or a party where you can meet your mutual friends. There are several possible reasons for such a behavior. She might have compassion on you because you don’t have a partner, and she thinks that it’s her obligation as a friend not to let you feel bored at home and help you unwind. She might perceive you as her younger brother, and she just looks after you. Talking about hanging out vs dating battle, in this case, the first one is the winner.

7. Does she avoid answering the main question?

If you don’t understand whether it is dating or hanging out, you can pick yourself up and ask a straightforward question like, “Do you want to be my girlfriend? Let's try to create something special.” If the girl doesn’t want to translate your relationship into “official status,” she will just refuse and try to find 1000 reasons why it is so. However, if she avoids giving you a clear answer, then she might either hesitate or flirt in such a way. She wants to agree, but she doesn’t want to look too accessible. The girl can perceive it as a game and check your patience and serious intentions, especially if your reputation precedes you.

8. Does she behave inconsistently?

When you perceive someone just as a friend, you don’t want to play games, you don’t worry about anything, you are relaxed and try to get maximal pleasure. That's the nice thing about friendship. However, when you have a thing for a girl and vice versa, your brain starts challenging you. Usually, if the girl is not indifferent to the man, she starts behaving quite weirdly. It may seem to you that she manipulates you, and she really does. However, it's all about flirting. More precisely, it’s about her desire to prolong the period of flirting. In addition, it can be another test of your intentions. So, when you reflect on dating vs hanging out, and you notice an inconsistent behavior of the girl, then you are not just hanging out.

9. Are you on the same wave?

To create a relationship, people need to have a certain common ground. It’s one of the crucial moments. If you don’t have common interests and you are an active listener despite the fact that you are not interested in the things the girl is talking about, then it’s more likely that you are just hanging out. You cherish your illusions about the girl, and she has found a silent listener who doesn’t mind listening to all her “clever” thoughts. Of course, people do not have to share all each other's interests, but if the position of one of you doesn’t make the other one even a little bit happier, and you don’t get the true pleasure from the communication, then what dating you are talking about.

10. Does she tell you that only you understand her?

If you meet just to discuss all her problems and the last events because only you understand her so well, then you are just her mate. Of course, if both of you overdrink, and she starts telling you what a perfect man you are, you have all chances to end this evening with hot consolation sex. However, it can hardly change the situation dramatically. dating vs hanging outA girl who is really interested in a man as in the future boyfriend will never praise his features, especially his ability to understand her. She can even tell you that it’s so difficult to meet a true man in this complicated world and ask you to introduce her to another egoist, forgetting about you once again. Do you still have doubts about the nature of your relationship? Are you not sure whether you are dating or hanging out? If she praises your character, but she hasn’t kissed you yet and confessed her love, then you are just her friend. Stop building castles in the air.

11. Does she touch you?

When people communicate for a certain time, they become closer both mentally and physically. How can you understand exactly whether the girl wants to date? When a girl likes a guy, she finds ways to touch him. It’s not just about a handshake or a “look like official” goodbye kiss. When you spend time together, for example, you walk in the park or go to the movie, she can touch you as if by chance. If you like a person, you subconsciously want to make a physical contact. However, it is important to distinguish liking from the openness of the girl. Watch her behavior. If you see that she doesn’t behave like that with other men, then she doesn't mind dating you.

12. Does she pay for herself in a café?

Despite the fact that it is the 21st century, and women talk about equality here and there, a big part of them still expects that a man will pay a common bill on the date. Usually, friends don’t have such problem, and women insist on paying for themselves. So, if you go to a café, and there isn’t any awkwardness or uncertainty about the bill because each of you pays for yourself, don’t reflect whether it is a date or hanging out. You are just friends and that’s all.

13. Are you stuck in your phones being together?

The Internet is a social scourge, which helps some people be together, but, at the same time, it destroys many couples. Usually, when people are on dates, they try to forget about Facebook, Instagram and put their phones aside. However, if you are hanging out with a person you are not seriously interested in, then there is nothing wrong with checking your messengers or social networks. So, pay attention to how often the girl takes her phone to check what her friends are Snapchatting. If she is more interested in her phone than in your “date,” then you are just hanging out.

14. Is she jealous of you?

When a girl wants to date a guy, her behavior can change. Even if you don’t have any committed relationship, she is already jealous of you. How can you understand that a pretty girl can become your girlfriend? Watch her behavior when you look at other girls. Have you seen a spark of jealousy? That's the same! Girls don’t want to share their “future” partners with anyone else.

Comments (1)

Thanks a lot for shedding light on such a perplexed question! Now, I know how to distinguish real dating from simple hanging out.
16.07.2020 15:41

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