Abusive Relationships: Signs and Tips for Dealing with It

22.11.2019

Quarrels and reconciliations are a normal occurrence in a loving couple. But if they happen too often, it is time to carefully think about everything. Abusive behavior in relationships is not always obvious since it can be not only about physical one. There are some other manifestations and types of abuse. Today, we are going to discover all of them, learn the signs of an abusive relationship and consider some helpful tips on how to deal with it.

What Is an Abusive Relationship?

First of all, let’s find out an abusive relationship definition to sift the question to the bottom. An abusive relationship is a kind of toxic romantic relationship characterized by intentional actions of physical, psychological, or sexual abuse of one partner towards another, violating their rights, freedoms, legitimate interests and causing them mental and (or) physical suffering. Abusive behavior implies not only physical, brute force, as it is commonly believed, but also more sophisticated, psychological forms of influence. One of the main features of abusive relationships is the recurring incidents of different types of violence (physical, psychological, sexual, or controlling).

The essence of any abuse is the desire to humiliate the victim as much as possible since only in such a way, an abuser can feel their superiority over another person. The rush of life, lack of spirituality, stress, feelings of social exclusion, loss of value orientation, increased alcohol abuse – all these pave the way for the emergence of different forms of abuse in a relationship. Do you want to avoid abusive behavior and create a happy family with an attractive lady? Try to date women online!

Types of Abuse in a Relationship

A lot of people do not even suspect that something is wrong with their love relationship as they have absolutely no idea about abusive behavior. To identify whether your romantic relationship is healthy, you should know what types of abuse exist. Therefore, let’s go into the matter.

Verbal

It is verbal abuse that is the “core” of violence in relationships, that is, its initial form, on the basis of which physical and sexual abuse can occur. The verbally abusive relationship is difficult to identify, but it is even more complicated to prove in the court. If other forms of abuse in a relationship are easy to determine as they have obvious bodily harm, then the signs of verbal abuse are rarely visible. Furthermore, the consequences can be particularly dire.

Verbal abuse implies:

• offensive incisive comments (criticism);
• caustic jokes, often in public;
• any statements or actions that lower the dignity of a person;
• various kinds of prohibitions (especially in relationships between adults), for example, a prohibition on meeting relatives, friends, visiting some interesting places, working, or studying;
• manipulations, threats, putting guilt on a partner, and shuffling off the responsibility;
• a demonstration of one’s own power without physical abuse, but threatening bodily harm;
• humiliation and depreciation of a partner.

Verbal abuse is harmful as it is difficult to prove it because there is no visible evidence on the body.

Physical

This is an abusive impact on a person for the purpose of causing physical harm: mutilation, great bodily harm, kicks, beatings, bumps, spankings, pushing, etc. Physical abuse in a family is one of the most brutal forms of domestic violence. Also, physical abuse includes preventing a loved one from basic life support, refusing to help them and provide first aid, sleep deprivation, and any other types of physical harm. Moreover, physical injuries to other family members and animals with the purpose of psychological impact on a victim are defined as an indirect form of physical abuse.

Sexual

This is a kind of physical abuse. But it is not just about the forceful rape – that is, sexual intercourse which occurs despite the outright refusal of a partner. This type of abuse in a relationship implies any use of another person’s sexuality or enforced sexual act. Namely, harassment, persuasion after refusal, blackmail, bribing, coaxing, etc. Sex enforcement under the guise of matrimonial duties is also considered sexual abuse since there is no such duty. In a strong and healthy relationship, sex always occurs by mutual agreement of partners and brings great enjoyment, pleasure, and joyfulness from intimacy with a loved one. Find out where to meet a woman and get acquainted with a hot lady who knows how to make your sexual life enjoyable.

Negative consequences of sexual abuse:

• self-incrimination and guilt;
• flashbacks (strong, sudden, repeated feelings of an abusive experience);
• nightmares;
• insomnia and fears;
• low self-esteem;
• sexual disorders;
• chronic pain;
• chemical dependencies;
• self-harm;
• suicidal thoughts;
• depression, somatic disorders;
• post-traumatic stress disorder;
• high anxiety and anxiety disorders;
• other mental disorders (including dissociative identity disorder and borderline personality disorder).

Controlling behaviors

As a rule, an abusive partner establishes very firm control over what their loved one does, with whom they communicate, where they go, how they dress, and so on. Such an abuser insists that the partner always consult with them about making even the most insignificant decisions, controls finances of the significant other, their telephone conversations, social networks, contacts, and hobbies. In case of disobedience to their will, the abuser tries to punish their partner by strengthening all forms of restrictions and suppressing their will by strict prohibitions, often accompanied by intimidation or tantrums. This is one of the most obvious signs you’re in an emotionally abusive relationship.

Signs of Abuse in a Relationship

Today, the issue of abusive relationships concerns a huge number of people. Unfortunately, the manifestation of violence in romantic relationships envenoms the lives of loving couples from all over the world. Therefore, you should find out some abusive relationship signs, learn to recognize them in time, and think about how to get out of an abusive relationship. It will help you create a strong and happy love relationship, where the partners respect the rights and desires of each other. So, familiarize yourself with 5 principal signs of an abusive relationship.

You are overly attentive to the needs and desires of your partner to the detriment of your owns. You walk on the tips of toes both literally and figuratively, just not to upset your partner. Probably, you behaved the same way with your parents, and now - unconsciously - at home. You prefer to be secretive and keep your opinion to yourself so as not to provoke quarrels. Moreover, you justify the abusive treatment of a partner by all means – “I handle this too sharply again,” “Every loving couple quarrel from to time, it is absolutely normal,” etc. Such thoughts identify that you miss some important points and do not go with your gut.

You almost stop communicating with friends

You no longer meet with friends and have fun with them as it was before because squabbles with a partner take up all your time. Instead of going somewhere together and having a rollicking time, you spend every weekend in endless quarrels. You begin to feel isolated from the whole world – the partner always claims your attention. Perhaps you justify them and find excuses for such abusive behavior. By and by, the victims of the aggressor lose self-confidence and begin to blame themselves for all problems in their relationship.

You try to avoid any conflict

Instead of unburdening your mind, you keep silent and become secretive to maintain peace in a relationship. Moreover, you avoid conflicts in any area of life – not only at home but also at work. Perhaps you do this out of the habit or because you are already too tired of all this stuff and do not have the strength to freely express your point of view after so many conflicts at home. You seem to live cringing. Now, defending your interests is an impossible task for you. You think it is much easier to adapt yourself to the situation than to constantly worry that your disobedience will turn into quarreling with a loved one.

You feel strong fatigue

All-day, you feel terribly exhausted. It is becoming more and more difficult for you to solve elementary everyday tasks associated with your life needs. You feel that your head is like in a fog, and you are no longer sure that your needs are so important. You have ceased to feel like a competent person, you do not trust your knowledge and experience anymore.

You forgive again and again

You have already broken up a romantic relationship with your loved one several times – just to forgive again and promise to love each other for the rest of life. You excuse rude treatment, give the last chance to the abusive partner, and trust empty promises. This is one of the clearest red flags of an abusive relationship.

What Does It Lead to?

All the abusive forms of impact on a person have a pronounced destructive nature and lead to a loss of confidence in oneself and the world, anxiety, concerns, sleep and appetite disturbances, depression, aggressiveness, and lack of self-worth. Moreover, it can provoke a tendency to solitude and self-destructive streak. Also, it often causes personal psychopathology of different etiologies – drug addictions, bulimia, anorexia, and somatic and psychosomatic diseases – stomach ulcers, allergies, overweight, nervous tics. Children, who grew up in families characterized by abusive behavior, have such serious disorders as chronic depression, anxiety, post-traumatic stress disorder, and dissociation. According to the researchers, the effects of emotional abuse are not significantly different from the effects of the physical one.

Many victims of abusive behavior in a relationship do not even recognize abuses committed against them as violence. Thus, abuse in a love relationship often leads to difficulties in distinguishing and living out one’s own true emotions.

General statistics about violence against women

• Abuse against women, especially by an intimate partner, is a serious public health problem and a violation of human rights.
• According to data on the global prevalence of violence against women published by the World Health Organization, every third woman (35%) in the world has experienced physical or sexual abuse of an intimate partner or sexual violence on the part of other men during the life.
• In most cases, this is abusive behavior of an intimate partner. Globally, 30% of women in romantic relationships report having experienced some form of physical or sexual abuse of their beloved men.
• Up to 38% of murders of women in the world are committed by their intimate partners.
• Abusive behavior has a negative effect on the physical, mental, sexual, and reproductive health of women and, in some circumstances, can even increase the risk of HIV infection.
• Most often, abusive behavior is manifested by men who are poorly educated, experienced ill-treating in childhood, witnessed abuse against their mothers, have some kind of addiction, and feel superior to women.
• In most cases, abusive behavior of an intimate partner is experienced by women who have a poor educational background, witnessed abuse against their mothers, were mistreated in childhood, and share the beliefs about male dominance and female subordination.
• Conflict and post-conflict situations in romantic relationships can exacerbate the existing abusive behavior of an intimate partner and create additional forms of violence against women.
• According to recent investigations, awareness-raising activities and legal advice that help to empower women contribute to the prevention and reduction of violent acts against women committed by their intimate partners.

Tips to Escape from an Abusive Relationship

Many men and women face violence in relationships and wonder, “Am I in an abusive relationship?” Some of them endure abusive treatment and accumulate negative emotions, while others try to get out of a destructive relationship, but something prevents them from doing this. So, consider 5 useful tips on how to leave an abusive relationship.

Cast aside all your fears

Of course, it is easier said than done, but you should come face to face with your worries. It is important to understand that fear often replaces reality. Only when you cast aside all the fears that prevent you from breaking up an abusive relationship, you begin to live a full-fledged and happy life.

Find support

You definitely need someone who will support and cheer you up. Your main goal is to make a decision to get out of an unhealthy relationship. In this case, parents or friends should not impose their opinions and put pressure on a victim of an abusive relationship, otherwise, this person may return to the aggressor.

Do not keep silent

If you want to escape from an abusive relationship, keep everything bottled up and take into account these important tips: a) you should tell 3-5 people what is happening in your relationship. There are a lot of people who can help you in dealing with the problem of an abusive relationship. In addition, many therapists know well how to help someone in an abusive relationship;

• every beating should be fixated, so feel free to file a complaint with police over the incident and not take it back;
• if there is a threat to life, then you should immediately hide in a protected place;
• it is necessary to move away as far as possible. The distance helps muster thoughts and acquire new strength to move on in the right direction.

Sort out your feelings

Stop believing that you need to save someone. Ask yourself: what do you really want from romantic relationships? What are your true feelings when you are next to an abusive partner? Do you want to change anything? You can even write down all the advantages and disadvantages of your relationship. It will help you look at the situation more clearly.

Break-up a relationship

You cannot force another person to stop abusive behavior. The only way to end violence is to break up a relationship. After all, no one deserves constant humiliation and cruel attitude. And although it may seem difficult to break up an abusive relationship, many men and women have already proven that this is possible. Therefore, you can do it too. It really requires tremendous inner strength, so if you make attempts to end the relationship with an abuser, but nothing works out, please, do not give up! It does not mean that you are a weak person – it only identifies that you need to come up with a new strategy that will allow you to leave forever.

Final Thoughts

True love assumes that partners are completely equal, they both invest efforts in a relationship in the same measure. Of course, sometimes you can do something you do not want just for the sake of a loved one, but when such actions become a habit, this is a bad sign. If two healthy personalities are in love, they respect the personal boundaries of each other, share the burden of guilt if things go wrong, and try to find a way out of a difficult situation together – without abusive behavior, mutual insults, and rage. So, if you notice some signs of abuse in your romantic relationship, break it up as soon as possible. It will make you much happier!