Do Looks Matter? An Honest Insight
30.10.2020
Many men blame their failures in their personal lives on the flaws in appearance. They think that women do not fall after them because their height is lower than 185 cm. They do not own a pretty face; there is no slanting fathom in their shoulders, so no one needs them.
These are all silly delusions. Recall your friends who have been dating for a long or look at random couples on the streets. You can see both outwardly attractive guys dating beauties and not that handsome man accompanied by actually pretty women. What do women search for in men? The immediate answer is that love is not just about looks. Let's dive into this issue.
What matters in a relationship?
Society believes that the appearance of a man for a woman is somewhere in the penultimate place, and women focus more on their partners' looks. However, this aesthetic aspect depends on a person. Do looks matter? Fanning over a pretty actor or a singer is one thing. Dating a person for their appearance is another. Actually, you cannot fall in love just with the way someone looks or get attracted to someone for a more extended period until you communicate with them. Based solely on someone's external data, our fantasies quickly fade away as we talk to a person.
When singles swipe people on a woman seeking man website, they do not know who hides behind a pretty face. At a personal meeting, we can lose all interest in a person, and no appearance will save. The thing is, girls choose men for their non-verbal behavior. The sexual instinct is so arranged that females are ignited by males behaving in a certain way. Since these are very subtle features, girls cannot unequivocally formulate why they chose whom they chose.
Everyone intuitively understands that a man's primary weapon is his personality and character. Still, due to the difficulty of formulating how a man should behave, everyone prefers to look for the reasons for success somewhere else. A man has to be more or less neat and well-groomed, so as not to look like a bum, even an athletic body is not a must. For most women, even the presence of a belly is not the end of the world. It's not just that these ladies were lucky enough to fall in love with guys of not the most athletic physique, and they decided to attribute this visible flaw to their merits. These facts mean you shouldn't worry. To most people, looks don't matter.
Do looks matter to guys?
According to many experts, preferences in choosing a partner usually change with age. So, when is appearance more important than character and vice versa?
The opinion of men under 30 years old
For young men, this is a period of self-affirmation. The stronger sex at this time is driven mainly by the play of hormones. It determines preferences when choosing friends. In his youth, a man appreciates a beautiful appearance and a slender figure more than the inner world, so looks matter. A partner is perceived as a way to assert yourself.
At this time, the stronger sex readily commits various extravagances — to rush to the other end of the city to spend a few minutes together with his beloved, stand under the windows all night, and come up with various ways to surprise her. But behind all this feast of feelings is, by and large, the desire for sex. And beautiful courtship is just a way to achieve it.
The opinion of men over 30 years old
For most men, a new stage in life begins at the age of 30. Concepts that only yesterday seemed like something dreary and dull — a goal in life, a serious relationship, plans for the future — acquire attractiveness. In a relationship, a man becomes more conservative. And as a result, the appearance of the chosen one no longer plays a particularly significant role. Much more important are her interests, behavior, life values, and social circle. First of all, men will choose a woman with whom he feels invigorated and interested.
Do looks matter to women?
The opinion of women under 30 years old
The weaker sex at this age is especially susceptible to external manifestations. Basically, looks matter. A girl would like her partner to be bright both in appearance and behavior. She will look for traits like the ability to stand up for oneself, audacity in actions, and popularity.
During this period, a rare young lady can critically relate to the words of a boyfriend and evaluate his real actions. At this age, the fairer sex usually falls in love with noteworthy, handsome men and falls for the "bad guys." Looks do matter. Even a self-confident man seems to a young girl to be a gallant hero. But in everyday life, bad boys turn out to be slobs and consumers.
The opinion of women over 30 years old
Do looks matter to women who have crossed the line of maturity? Women are becoming more pragmatic in relationships. Craving the "bad boys" remains in a past life because now it is evident that they are much more about problems than joy. Older women are no longer ready to see a fairy-tale prince in every handsome man. Moreover, they sometimes begin to treat attractive representatives of the stronger sex with caution, fearing that they are spoiled by female attention.
Women at this age already expect not so much romance from men but a willingness to solve problems, support, and care. Do looks matter in a relationship? Not so much. The reliability of a man, according to many women, is much more important than his appearance. Any man who can give a woman a sense of security can be sure that he has half won her heart. One of the essential manifestations of a woman's reliability is a man's ability to make decisions on his own and the ability to keep his word even in small things.
Why do looks sometimes matter more than personality?
Some people claim that only the beauty of the inner world and the human soul is essential. Others pay attention only to their appearance, believe that the most important thing is to keep up with fashion, that if a girl is not wearing makeup or a man is not stylish, then there is nothing to talk about with them. Both these approaches are distortions that only hinder us in communication. The truth, as always, is in the middle. It is vital to deal with both the external and the internal and take care of your soul and body.
How much do looks matter? The very idea that you can change your thinking without changing your body seems dubious. Everything in us is interconnected, and a neglected body will inevitably hurt the mind and feelings. Care and self-love concern beauty and human health: it is movement, healthy eating, and attention to the signals of the body.
The body is a way of our manifestation in the material world, a kind of spacesuit for the soul. If we want to be successful in relationships, in our careers, in anything else, we must take care of the way we look. This self-love is not about trying to please someone, but about the message that you formulate with your appearance. Do looks matter to guys? Most men will read the girl’s attitude to her body, as the way she treats herself says a lot. People who love themselves will not take part in self-flagellation.
Five reasons to stop paying attention to looks.
We are ready to torture ourselves with the most extreme diets, do injections under the skin, wear uncomfortable shoes, exhaust the gym's body, to be beautiful and in demand, only for everyone to love us. Men, by the way, are not far off either. It's just that it is customary to place bets on money and power in their world, which gives the same advantages. But our article is about appearance and why it is given such overemphasis?
True love is blind
This phrase perfectly demonstrates the sensual nature of love. Judge for yourself. The whole world history clearly shows how little influence appearance has on sexual attraction and emotional attachment. Think of the women of John Lenon, Pierce Brosnan, Hugh Jackman. These men could have gotten much younger and sexier girlfriends for all their fame and influence, but they made their choice.
We love not for the body but individuality
Look at yourself in the mirror and say: how do you feel? Do you like what you see or not? If you are having trouble accepting yourself, then you have no idea what unconditional love is. Perhaps in childhood, you were given it in portions and on some conditions — good marks, help around the house, and obedience. And then you grew up and decided to make up for this deficit by becoming a perfect partner. Alas, this is self-deception. A person indeed in love will love you with all your scars and imperfections.
True love cannot be earned
You either feel it or not. The perfect appearance, according to the social standards of an agreeable character — nothing guarantees you that you will be loved. Unless your chosen one will have the same low self-esteem, and they want to make up for their dissatisfaction at your expense, attaching great importance to your beauty and talent. However, confident people do not need such a substitution.
What makes people fall in love?
Character, smell, the timbre of voice, some understandable associations only to the person who owns them. It is not the steel press and marble skin that clings, not stylish outfits and virtues, but the state of mind that we experience in the presence of a person, their will, self-confidence, an inexplicable zest, something that makes us want to come back again.
Beauty on the outside does not mean beauty on the inside
Therefore, always find out what the person is like. Understand that the main thing is not appearance. The main thing is the soul and inner world in each of us. Do looks matter more than personality? No. When you spend a lot of time with beautiful people, you especially stop paying attention to how they look and can see their true entities. You don't react to beauty in the same way. An understanding comes that beauty is not the main thing in a person. This is far from the most crucial criterion.
Why looks matter?
Because we love to look at something pretty and to feel that we own a person that makes others jealous of us. A person who is on fire, enjoys life, is not ashamed of their weaknesses — this is sexy. When we feel the maximum psychological comfort in someone's presence, we feel the most attracted to this person. Even sex with such an individual takes on an exceptional taste, the taste of pleasure.
The only task is to stop playing games — to torture yourself or to bend. Do not seek happiness in the arms of others. Fill it yourself. Only in this way will you compensate for the inner deficit. Only in this way will you have something to respect yourself for. Do looks matter? Appearance is not the main thing. A person's happiness is dependent on their self-esteem.
