Giving her space without loosing her
04.10.2018
Every human was originally born into the world free. Of course, at the beginning of their life's paths they are dependent on their parents, however, the older they become, the greater degree of freedom they have. By freedom, ordinary people understand the possibility of a person to do as one sees fit, to think the way one wants, and go where one decides. The beauty of freedom is that no external factors affect a person, which means that there is no feeling of discomfort. And so, to be a good partner, you have to know how to give space in a relationship.
Read a detailed guide on this topic from our online dating and relationship specialists.
How to Give Him Space
So, how to give him space? It is important to understand both sides before we will have a proper discussion on the situation. Freedom is highly appreciated by men, because they like to feel independent. He will prefer to be more alone than with a woman who will constantly deprive him of his freedom. There are often cases when the relationship lasted for 3-4 years but never reached its logical conclusion - the legitimization of the relationship – being terminated at the initiative of a man. Later the girls were surprised: "But how did it happen? After all, I gave him due attention - we spent every weekend together, I called him 10 times a day, wrote 30 messages, and he left me! ". That is the problem. If a woman goes too far with encroachment on the freedom of a man before the wedlock, he will leave her, inevitably.
However, sometimes, when a girl isn’t given any reasons to think that she is preventing a man from being free, a man is still afraid that when a girl officially becomes his partner, he wouldn’t be able to see freedom. A man is afraid that a girl would not know how to give someone space, including him. It's also necessary to forget about friends, football, free time, but instead there will be extra efforts, and when there are children, there will be no life at all. That's why men do not dare to legitimize their relationships. Often, men are afraid to admit that they do not want to lose their freedom, covering it with other reasons, like "I'm not yet ready for this step" or "It is necessary to become financially independent first." Anyway, the loss of freedom is considered the main reason for the reluctance to create a family. As for women's freedom, it's not so simple either.
How to Give Her Space
So, giving a woman space, what does that mean? Long ago it was believed that the main goal in the life of a woman is to find a man, to create a family, to give birth to a child and to do household chores till the end of their days. Like, a woman is a weak creature and needs the protection of a man, and the freedom of a woman when entering into wedlock is subject to the will of a man. Yes, it used to be so, but times change, and now women do not agree to put up with the usual role of a "supporting actor". A woman builds a career while successfully realizing herself in the family, a woman more often than before has interests not related to home. So, in short, how to give your girlfriend space? Do not bind her to stereotypes and social norms.
Give Her Space and She Will Come Back
Now women also want to be free, they want to have time not only for their family, but also for themselves. If you broke up, then it is the time to reevaluate, maybe you gave her not enough freedom, think about it. However, giving space in a relationship after a fight may be quite hard. Moreover, not always a woman agrees to the offer of a man to make it official with her, since she must sacrifice her freedom, but unlike men, a woman is not afraid to admit this to herself or her lover. To date, this type of relationship between a man and a woman has become especially popular as an open relationship. In such relationships, people are a couple, but because they are not yet officially together, each of them can easily interrupt relations and get out of them.
The main advantage of these relations is that no one owes anything to anyone. In other words, "I give you one thing, you give me another." Mutually beneficiates, however, is the relationship. Why did it acquire such popularity? Well, firstly, this is about the desire to remain free. Secondly, too much time is spent by a modern person to build a career, and you also need to have free time for your own needs - it's not up to the family. But, since nature always takes its own, man and woman are building relationships, but beforehand stipulate – that all of it is without any obligations. A man can provide a woman with money, and she in return – with her love (and not only sincere) and attention. Both men and women in such relationships do not remain in the lap, and manage to build a career and have some free time for themselves. He wanted to go to drink a beer with friends - he can go, without any trouble or worrying, sometimes without even informing his companion about it. The same is true for women.
It would seem - an ideal type of relationship. Is it not? However, this is provided that both partners are mutually beneficial, when there are no feelings as such. For when there are feelings, partners somehow have a desire for ownership. Now, whenever one of the partners is going to leave, the second one either does not let him in or makes him report where and with whom he is going, and this is not a free relationship without obligations, but at least a civil partnership. Civil partnership implies cohabitation without making the relationship legal in the relevant bodies.
For a man and his freedom - this is the ideal type of relationship, as it allows him to experience all the charms of wedlock without any responsibility. An official wedlock is imposed on a man; first of all it is the duty to be a man, which means providing for the material well-being of the family and full responsibility for the spouse and children. As to the woman, for her in this form of relationship, everything is not so cloudless, because at her genetic level the function of a supporting character is laid, she must take care of the house and her husband, but how to take care if today a man is nearby and tomorrow he is gone.
As for the advantages of civil partnership in terms of freedom - they are obvious. In fact, a man and a woman do not belong to each other, and the reason not to do anything, because you officially tied the knot, is not relevant here. Also, there is no need to divide the property in case of separation. Of course, freedom is freedom, but if a couple wants a really serious relationship, if they feel the desire to face each other in spite of all the difficulties, then the civil partnership obviously does not suit them. This form of relationship is very uncomfortable, especially for a woman. Suppose a couple lives with children in a civil partnership in the apartment of the spouse, he is bored with such a life – and he kinda has to throw the woman and children away, to live on the street.
In this case, no responsibility, no alimony – and so a woman has to survive. That's why girls in rare cases agree to this type of relationship if they want to have a real strong family. So, we have come to the question of freedom in the form of relationship, which is the most correct from the point of view of religion - the family.
Both a man and a woman are afraid that with the official registration of their relationship, they will cease to enjoy their right to freedom. But is the "devil" as black as he is painted? Wedlock is a prison ... so say those men and women who take care of all the family worries. Very often it happens that in the family only one of the two spouses go to work (as a rule, this is the husband), yet the other spouse (most often a female) does the work. And both spouses at the end of the day have no energy for other important matters, so it repeats every day, and it begins to seem to them that they have no freedom. Undoubtedly, wedlock imposes obligations on both partners, and not being aware of this at the time of wedlock is irresponsible to dispose of one's life. But you are not the only one who is doomed to this fate, to the complete absence of freedom. Your spouse is not a baboon, he is a person with intellect and his desires, and therefore you must communicate on an equal footing, make concessions to one another, and then your personal freedom will not suffer.
The only difference between freedom in wedlock and freedom outside of wedlock (ideally, of course) is the impossibility of choosing a partner for wedlock ... everything else with your spouse can always be negotiated. Of course, every relationship is different, and if your partner does not agree to make mutual concessions, then he is just an egoist. Personal freedom in wedlock was, is, and will be, and you yourself must determine the degree of this freedom. Surely, your partner also has friends / girlfriends with whom he/she wants to spend time, so you can always agree.
How to Give Space in a Relationship and Come Closer
How to give a girl space without losing her? Well, the most important thing after all is understanding. It is how to apply all the rhetoric things described above, so, here’s how to give someone space without losing them:
Let's say: "You're going to see friends today, and I'm going to a salon with my friend on Saturday." Consider how to create freedom in a relationship, so that you and your partner get joy and do not feel strangled in freedom. Respect. Respect is the basis of relationships, because romantic love, due to which two people decided to make it official, sooner or later passes, and respect must always be there, otherwise each member of the family will bring only disappointment to one another. Respecting your partner's right to have personal freedom is compulsory.
If you do not like that your partner has too much freedom, or just do not like the circle of partner’s communication - just calmly talk to him about it, but you do not need to fight in hysterics and shout about divorce. For sure, your partner may not act well about it, or he cannot do anything about it, but he values your right to personal freedom. How to give your girlfriend space without losing her – talk to her, start a conversation. Wedlock, in which both partners infringe upon each other's freedom, will sooner or later break. If this is your goal - you can continue to disrespect the freedom of the person closest to you.
The most important rule is that the freedom of the partner should not be unlimited. So yeah, to give space in a relationship is to give freedom, it is neither to push too hard, nor to be too jealous and all that. Giving space in a relationship is the key to a long, happy, and love-filled relationship.
