What Is the Honeymoon Phase in Relationships and How to Make It Longer?
27.01.2020
In the beginning, all relationships are about sweets and roses. Remember when you fell in love for the first time. You both felt extremely infatuated with each other, genuinely interested, sexually attracted. A whole month wouldn’t be enough for you to enjoy a beloved person. You felt sad when being apart, thinking every living second about the next date. Society generally calls this weird phase "a honeymoon stage." But how long before the honeymoon phase is over in a relationship? Why it always ends?
When I fell in love for the first time, I thought somebody did voodoo magic on me. I never felt so happy and disappointed, content and frustrated, confident and confused. It was a stupid hex. And the worst of it happened when it went away. Gradually, all the feelings got wiped off, numbed down and degraded. I still loved this person, but the sparkle was interchanged with the routine. How long does the honeymoon phase last and how to prevent your relationship from going off?
Main Relationship Stages
Generally, relationships are divided into 4-5 stages. Each of them is harshly intertwined with the time you date, and they all have some distinctive features. Here are the main phases of a relationship (a circle of love).
1. The honeymoon period
If you want to know the honeymoon phase definition, you will get a lot of information on this general term. And no, you don’t have to be newlyweds to enter that stage. Jeanette Raymond, a psychologist, explains the “honeymoon meaning” as follows, “The honeymoon phase happens because of the massive amounts of oxytocin that are released in both partners, which make them attached both physically and emotionally.” Basically, we feel so chemically overflowed, we simply don’t notice a single flaw in our partner. They seem like the sweetest, most caring person in the world. Your attraction at this stage is immense. We have mostly unrealistic expectations about our significant other due to being “blindly in love,” so every bad thing they do in further stages might affect us ten times stronger.
2. Reality kicks in (crisis stage)
If you talk to capacitive crowds of women, both in real life and on women dating sites, then you probably know that all relationships, even the most fruitful and promising, will come to a stage of realization. It’s like someone pulled off your pink shades, and now you have to face reality. They are not that pretty. Sometimes, they have a foul mouth, a bad attitude, saggy body parts, poor taste, weird career choice. How couldn't I notice it earlier? As they say, "Love is a chemical reaction." And when this dopamine is airing out, you can’t help it. The only thing you can do is decide whether you see hope in these relationships, is there some potential, or it’s better to just end it. Remember not to rush your decisions because, as I’ve said, it’s just another phase.
3. The working (acceptance) stage
Now that you’ve found out about all annoying traits and habits of your partner, and decided to stay, it’s time to work on your couple. I am sure by this time, both of you have a lot to say to each other. At this stage, your once passionate romance is sort of doomed to become “boring relationships.” You need to work on your borders, your do’s and don’t’s, consider each other’s unique working style, preferences in food, schedule, life overall. This is the stage where you finally get to hear each other out. Many of you might live together at this time.
4. The friendship stage
This is the stage when you finally become comfortable around each other. You can joke without a fear to offend your partner, be messy, sloppy and funny. It’s a beautiful time for your bonding, but also a dangerous phase for your romance. Will you be better off as a romantic couple, or just friends?
5. The true love (respect stage)
Now that you’ve come through thick and thin, studied each other, thrown every tantrum in the world, it’s time to mature and prove your devotion. It is a stage of true acceptance and understanding, peace and forgiveness.
Honeymoon Phase Signs
How to know if you are experiencing a honeymoon phase (still)? What your feelings should be like during this stage? How long does the honeymoon phase last?
1. You've just started dating
The best way to know when the honeymoon phase happens is to start dating and see for yourself. You won’t miss this time. Honeymoon is the sweetest of relationship stages. You want to give gifts, meet every day, never get tired of this person, think they are flawless.
2. You feel the sexual tension
Sex is the ruler of a honeymoon phase. You have a lot of it, want it, desire your partner in every way. Your partner is a new, mysterious book you can’t put your hands on (yet). But spending every Sunday morning in their bed feels like a bliss.
3. You are extremely happy
Not that you can’t feel happy in a relationship after a honeymoon phase. But even your friends can notice how elevated you’ve become for the past three weeks. Even if you are the most depressed and boring person in the universe, suddenly, you feel the need to create and make everyone around smiling. You always bring up their name, mention every pleasant detail with a grim.
4. You feel extreme anxiety when your partner is not around
Separation just doesn’t feel right. Whenever they get a chance to run away from your thirsty self, you get frustrated, awaiting their call. This can also be a sign of lots of anxiety disorders, but for you, every second apart feels like torture.
How Long Does the Honeymoon Phase Last?
The most passionate and hot-tempered phase can’t last for too long because our brain can’t get even more oxytocin because of the same person. Love is an addiction. People with various types of addictions won’t lie, even the strongest potions will get you going to a certain extent. Then, you’ll either have to switch it up or battle your addiction. The comparison is harsh, but it’s true. It has been proven that love and other sins work similarly.
The overall time for this beautiful sorcery winds up with 2-6 months. Note that every couple is different. But usually, the time when your honeymoon ends correlates with the severity of your start. The hotter and more intense it is, the quicker you’ll lose interest. You get too many things too fast. The more you spend time thinking and analyzing without going all in, the more your honeymoon phase would last.
How to Make the Honeymoon Phase Last Longer
Many people believe that love is just a honeymoon period, and everything after it is a simple habit that has nothing to do with romantic relationships. But in reality, when this stage in the life of a couple passes, it is then that the most sincere and true love begins.
The honeymoon phase is what all girls like. Those moments when a guy whispers all sorts of sweet nothings in your ear, timidly kisses you on the cheek, and brings flowers or sweets for every romantic date…
The point is that it is possible to make a honeymoon phase last longer, but only on the condition that both partners want it and are ready to do their best to improve their relations. However, the romance in a relationship depends not on the duration of the honeymoon phase, but on the partners themselves. So, you should learn to respect your beloved with all their virtues and shortcomings and love them as they are. Learn to negotiate, listen, and hear your partner! Thus, each of you will have a sense of support and reliability. Moreover, do not forget about sex! After all, sexual relationships are an integral part of the life of any loving couple, it is in sex that you open up and dissolve in each other. In addition, you should acquire self-respect and build confidence. It will be easier for your partner to love you if you know how to love yourself. Also, try to add new common interests and hobbies into your relationship, this will brighten up your pastime and give both of you a lot of positive impressions and emotions.
Remember that it is only up to you to strengthen your love and preserve a bright spark of joy that overwhelmed you at the beginning of your relationship: respectful attitude, pleasant surprises, sincere interest in your partner, attending to each other, and other similar deeds always keep romance in a relationship!
Reasons a Honeymoon Phase Ends Too Soon
A honeymoon phase in relationships is a good phase, and every good thing has its end. Why do we fall back to reality so soon? Why do we fight more and more often? Will it happen a couple of times or am I setting the dynamic? Here are some reasons why the honeymoon period relationship ends so soon.
Unrealistic expectations
We always see our partner as a beautiful divine creature. But is it true? What if your friends and family have already noticed red flags and actively try to warn you about the consequences? You just don’t see them. But when you do, that is when you know there is a time for another stage in your relationships.
Moving too fast
I know that every person in love is a hungry wolf, wanting to try as much as they can. But moving too fast never works well for the relationship. Especially moving in. The faster you move with things, the less time you have for a discussion, an inner meditation, and self-reflection. As a consequence, your relationships are perceived as too forced and now boring.
Miscommunication and misunderstanding
When your brain focuses on everything besides deep things, no wonder you find yourself in a situation where the confusion starts to take over. “What do you mean you didn’t want kids?” Some things just need to be talked about right away, before falling in love – children, finances, housing. If you miss these important communication steps, don’t complain if you find out that your partner is a polyamorous lover. All important things need to be discussed in the beginning!
Routine and boredom
If you move in during yet sketchy relationships, the honeymoon period isn’t going to last long. Especially if you start doing things couples do during your first week, like seeing each other with greasy hair and prickly legs. There is a phrase for that, but not now. Don’t kill your relationships with boredom just yet. If you don’t believe me, just watch a Bitter Moon movie.
What to Do When the Relationships Honeymoon Period Is Over?
Now you’ve come to an end. An end of the first phase. This is an important lesson and a memory to keep forever in your mind. But does your relationship end after passion fades away? No, it’s an opportunity to learn so much more about your partner. Here is what you should do after the end of your honeymoon period.
1. Don’t rush into conclusions
Once you’ve acknowledged that your partner isn’t perfect like billions of people on the planet, it’s not the time to dump them yet. Not every relationship turns into a toxic and destructive one. So if you've noticed some bad sides of your partner, don’t try to cause drama and kill a relationship.
2. Don’t try to get too comfortable
The reason why so many relationships are short-lived is that people get comfortable too quickly. Soon enough, both of the partners give up on themselves and put off an exciting mysterious mask in a long drawer. This is a global mistake that might kill your relationship if you don’t stop treating your partner like a bro.
3. Doze your time
Being together excessively after a honeymoon stage ended will only get both of you more irritated. So if you want to save and develop this relationship, doze your time together. Save some time for a chill and a mystery, and never play “push and pull” with your partner. By disappearing all the time to get them interested, you will develop an unhealthy dynamic in your relationships and might scare them off at all.
4. Don’t disappear in each other
It is a dangerous phase where both of you give up your dreams and hobbies just to be with each other. But when a honeymoon stage ends, you will be left with despair. Unless you continue minding your business and broadening your horizons. Stay true to yourself no matter what. Respect yourself.
5. Set a friendly dynamic instead of picking fights
When a honeymoon stage ends, people try to imitate spicy days with negativity, provoking their partners to fight and quarrel. It gets you going for some time, raising your interest in each other, but it won’t be good in the long run. Instead, if you see some wrongdoings in your partner’s actions, try to be friendly about it. If your SO does something good for you, try positive reinforcement to show that your relationships are stable and nothing, even your mood won’t affect their harmony.
6. Teach each other
Relationships have so much more beauty other than passion and sex, cheesy quotes and dates. You also get a chance to find a lifelong partner, given by destiny. If you work on your relationships, perfecting each other gradually, collecting and sharing knowledge, you will definitely reach a stage 5. Together.
A honeymoon stage is only the start of a beautiful love life. If you see signs of tempering down, don’t be scared. It’s a natural process that will guarantee you a happy life in the long run. This stage needs to end to give life to something more productive and beautiful.
