I will be single forever?
29.08.2019
After a breakup, every person fears that close relationships will not be repeated in his or her life. It seems that young women seeking men will do that endlessly, and men do the same just to fill a loss with someone.
Thoughts on staying single forever worry those who have recently had a difficult experience. Not every man knows what needs to be done to cope with this state and, in general, whether it is a bad experience or chance to revise own life.
Should People Stop Worrying About Staying Single Forever?
Oddly enough, in modern society, the fear of loneliness is very common. And unfortunately, it often prevents us from relaxing and just living. Due to the fear of being forever alone, we save unnecessary relationships, don’t use a single ladies website, communicate with uninteresting people, and don’t do what we want. It is known that women are more prone to this phobia due to their greater emotionality. But, one way or another, every person faces such a situation one day.
If you are afraid to be left alone, think what is so bad and terrible about this? And can this be fixed? If the reason is the fear of being alone with your thoughts, then do the following right now: spend a couple of days in your society and think about everything that brings pain. Digging into yourself, it will help you soon. Thus, loneliness will stop scaring you.
If you are worried that you will not be able to take care of yourself, then relax because you are not on a desert island. One way or another, there are people around you. You are not alone. And if loneliness is not avoided, try to benefit from it because someone is only seeking it. So, maybe it is not so bad to be alone with yourself.
Perks of Being Alone
Relationships are constant work on yourself and self-improvement. But it is not always possible to develop and become better next to a partner, sometimes relationships drag down. When you are free of them, you can focus on yourself: your goals, feelings and needs. Use loneliness 100%. What other benefits of staying alone are there?
Freedom to choose your social circle
Many in a relationship are faced with jealousy and a ban on communicating with a certain circle of people. Some couples end up breaking up because of this.
Saving money
A bit of a cynical statement, but true. How much money is spent on constant gifts and leisure activities? Save a certain amount and buy an item that you have wanted for a long time, but could not afford due to constant expenses. Better yet, fulfill your dream or go on a trip.
No quarrels
The beginning of a relationship is always rosy, but in any case, it will not do without disagreement. Some have minor quarrels, while others develop into scandals of a universal scale with broken dishes and tears. So do not be upset about the absence of a partner, loneliness will protect your nerve cells.
How to Be Okay with Being Alone
“When will I find love?” – many ask. Very few people can sincerely enjoy loneliness. As a rule, most of us are burdened with this condition. However, there are ways to help deal with feelings about this.
Go out
You can’t make new friends and meet new people sitting alone in your house. Forcing yourself to go out to social events, you increase your chances of meeting like-minded people with whom you can get acquainted. Even if the idea of this seems scary and nervous, the more you plunge yourself in such situations, the more you get used to them and the easier it becomes. You have to start somewhere. Whenever possible, it is recommended to communicate with people. For example, sharing lunches with colleagues or going to the movies with friends is helpful. You can acquire skills and spend time with like-minded people.
You must adhere to the regimen of the day
You need to get rid of insomnia as soon as possible. Lack of sleep makes it difficult to communicate with other people, and it causes a bad mood. To get rid of insomnia, you need to follow some simple rules. Firstly, an hour before you go to bed, you should remove all the gadgets away because they have an exciting effect on the nervous system. Secondly, it is recommended to take a warm bath. Particular attention should be paid to the feet. If you massage them lightly, then complete relaxation will not take long. Thirdly, you need to go to bed at the same time. Thanks to these habits, a useful regimen will be formed.
Do something interesting
Will I be alone forever? Well, why does a person feel lonely? This is often determined precisely by boredom. Think for yourself: at what moments does the feeling that you are lonely come? If you understand that you feel completely normal during any activity, then don’t worry: your problem is solved. If you understand that you feel lonely when doing nothing, then read, travel more often, learn foreign languages, start cooking, learn to ride a bicycle or skateboard, go to the gym, take a walk with your friend’s dog, go to the park and take pictures of the surroundings. In general, there are a lot of classes. And all of them can distract you from negative thoughts.
Talk about your state
Don’t be afraid to open up and talk about your feelings and emotions. Find a person you trust, talk about your emotional state with him or her, and just say, “I feel lonely being single.” Perhaps your interlocutor has ever been in the same situation as you, and therefore, could tell you how to find a way out. If you don’t have a close friend, write about your problem in the appropriate forums. Surely, you will find the necessary support. If you think that everyone understands that you are sad and have problems, then often this is not so. It’s better to tell someone about your experiences. You will feel better!
Help others
How to be okay with being alone? To get support, you need to take some action. Help your friends, for example, spend time with their kids. Then their parents will finally go to the movie. Take a walk with your friend’s dog while they prepare for the exam. Hold the door of the supermarket when an old lady enters it. Performing such actions, you realize that someone needs you. Without your help, all these people wouldn’t be happy. Besides, good actions will be encouraged. Perhaps your friends will also invite you to the movies, a friend will help, and in old age, someone will hold the door and wait until you enter.
Signs You Will Stay Single Forever (But We Hope You Won’t)
There are various reasons why even an attractive and interesting person can’t find a life partner and lives alone for a long time.
Shyness
The saying that modesty adorns a person shouldn’t be taken literally. Many parents raise their children too strictly. That is why they often turn into closed and uncommunicative people who avoid others. Unfortunately, limiting their social circle, such people can’t attract the opposite sex. Will I be single forever? Most likely, you will if shyness is the reason of your loneliness.
Complexes
It is unlikely that there is such a person who is completely satisfied with own appearance. However, some people are too critical of themselves. Worrying about how not to be left alone because of their own imperfect body, people forget that often those around don’t pay attention to these minor flaws. A man with low self-esteem is unlikely to seem attractive to a woman.
Unwillingness to develop
Any relationship is the interaction of two people. For the “mechanism” to work smoothly, compromises are needed. A successful relationship is often the result of the fact that the partners give up their interests in the sake of common ones. It is not always pleasant to leave the comfort zone. Therefore, men who don’t want to change their principles, habits or desires don’t start relationships and prefer to live a free life.
Fear of loneliness
If a man is fixated only on how to quickly find a woman and start a relationship, then it may push women away. Fear of being left alone will regularly remind of itself, and a feeling of uncertainty will manifest in their behavior every day. Either a man will be malleable and agreeable to everything just to get the registry office or he will begin to demand guarantees and make scandals. As you can see, not only women behave like this.
Random affairs no longer appeal to you
Fleeting relationships were a way to have fun or find solace in the arms of a stranger. Now you can’t even bear the thought of a one-night stand. You think, “I will be alone forever, and it is better than dating with someone I don’t know.” You no longer have the slightest desire to give your precious body, time and energy to someone who is not interested in your life, personality, and thoughts.
You feel an urgent need for love
When you look at your friends who have managed to build happy families, you get an unpleasant feeling. This is not sadness or envy. It is like jealousy. You are happy for your friends, but you want what they have. You want to love. You are tired of being alone. You have accumulated so much tenderness that you are ready to share it with everyone.
You agree for less
You are ready to leave your comfort zone and take risks. You are ready to let an outsider into your life and allow her to start a family with you. You are no longer afraid to love with all your heart, even if it hurts again and doesn’t lead to anything again. You are ready to give everything, even if you receive nothing in return.
You subconsciously attract the wrong people
Emotions that you didn’t want to recognize, experience or express, have been accumulated throughout your life. For many years, we keep a sense of fear, guilt, and sadness. These suppressed emotions not only build a wall between you and other people but also are transmitted into the environment. According to the law of attraction, energy always attracts the same energy. This explains why we continue to encounter evil, sad, or fearful people in our lives.
You have not let go of the past relationship
You shouldn’t expect a new person to come into your life if you are still one foot in the past. You need to start moving forward and letting go of those who broke you and caused you emotional pain. Attachment to these kinds of people doesn’t do any good. Remember that universal laws work in such a way that the right person appears in your life at the right time for you.
You think you are unattractive
If you have an idea that everything is because of your appearance, then this is a far-fetched problem. You have been influenced by the belief that you are unattractive. A lot of people are beautiful by nature, but at the same time, they have complexes. Even if you have the appearance that doesn’t correspond to stereotypes and consider this the reason for your failure in communication with women, then you are mistaken.
How to Find Love and Stop Being Alone
In the modern world, it is very easy to stay lonely. Even though you meet hundreds of people daily, you can still feel that there is no woman for you. How not to be alone? You need to change not the world around you but yourself and your perception.
Don’t compare yourself to others
It can be great torture to watch a perfect couple, while you are lonely and unhappy. Will I ever find love? Yes, if you help yourself get rid of these feelings. The next time you begin to feel the pain of injustice due to the love of other people, keep in mind that their relationships are not perfect. You simply can’t compare yourself to anyone. You have to remember that there is one single person for each of us, and everyone will find their loved one.
Remember about your list of requirements
Listing the character traits of our ideal partner, it can help us focus more on what we want. But it can also reduce our chances of finding love. It is one thing to want a partner to be sympathetic and caring, and it is quite another thing when we refuse to get to know a person just because they don’t meet our requirements for appearance.
Love yourself
Many people who have been unsuccessfully searching for love for a long time begin to look for reasons in themselves, blame their appearance, character, habits and so on. Will I be forever alone? Of course, you will not. But if you want people to love you, first of all, you should appreciate yourself. Perfect people don’t exist. Every morning, standing in front of the mirror, tell yourself compliments: this simple exercise will help you increase your self-esteem and love yourself, despite minor flaws.
Don’t be afraid of breaking up
People who have at least occasionally experienced a breakup may be afraid to encounter bad experiences again. However, love doesn’t always pass away quickly. Analyze what you lacked in your past relationships and didn’t like in your ex-lover. What you did wrong and what mistakes you made. Don’t repeat these mistakes in the future and don’t be afraid to go in search of new romantic adventures.
Attend social events
I am lonely and single, what to do? Opening of the exhibition, concerts, charity evenings, parties and presentations of fashion houses are the events that people come to get acquainted. If you want to make new and interesting acquaintances, then you need to feel free to go to some social event. Such meetings are usually held in beautiful places where you are offered to taste delicious dishes and enjoy great music. You can get all this for free if you take care in advance of receiving an invitation.
You shouldn’t be afraid of loneliness. After all, life consists of such minor “attacks” of loneliness. After all, attention, love, and warmth can be obtained not only from a significant other. There are still close people and friends. No matter how difficult it is, don’t despair. Life goes on, and you will surely meet your soulmate if you want it so much. You just have to make efforts and wait for a little while.