How to Act When Your Ex Texts You Out of the Blue: Tips For Men
23.09.2020
Breakups are always painful. It doesn’t matter how old you are, what kind of job you have, and what is your zodiac sign – a breakup is associated with the most painful memories. Moreover, it is impossible to “cut off” the connection right the first time, and random meetings, calls, or messages inflict stinging pain. It doesn’t matter how long the relationship lasted, these random intersections cause a lot of emotions.
So, you broke up. You have gone through all the stages of breaking up with a once loved one. You begin a new life, in which, finally, there is joy and meaningfulness. Perhaps you have a new romantic relationship that promises a long, happy life or start visiting a woman seeking man website to find that one and only, and then WhatsApp rings at 4 in the morning. The sound of the message takes you out of sleep, and you, unable to resist, pick up your phone and look at the screen. The heart stops for a few seconds and then begins to beat at a doubled rate. On the screen, you see a message from her.
Your ex texts you after break up. There is an awkward and weird, completely unnecessary and ambiguous, sacramental “Hello, how are you?” So, my ex texts me – what to do?
Main reasons why your ex texts you
It is unlikely that we can give a specific answer to the question of why she suddenly texted me. Either she is using you or she really misses. Anyway, we have several assumptions, one of which may turn out to be very close to the truth. So, the main reasons why an ex-girlfriend texts her ex after breaking up are:
1. She doesn’t want you to have another girlfriend
This is one of the most obvious reasons why your ex texts you. She suddenly saw you on Facebook with a new beautiful girl. A red veil falls over her eyes, and her hands reach out to the keyboard. That is, there are probably people who know how to be happy for their ex, but she is clearly not one of them. She writes in the hope that some additional details will be revealed. What if this beautiful woman in the photo is your sister or just a fitness trainer? She hopes to hear how bad you are without her and is subconsciously afraid of the words: “Hello, I’m fine” because it would mean for her: “Hello, I’m fine WITHOUT YOU.”
2. She doesn’t have a boyfriend
When an ex texts you, what does that mean? Well, when you are lonely and want warmth and tenderness any means are good. Why not meet up with the ex-man if a breakup wasn’t tragically painful? It’s even interesting and feelings can get a second chance. It is quite possible that the girl just needs sex, but she doesn’t want to look for strangers for this. So, she writes to her ex-boyfriend in order to have a good time without commitment. When an ex texts you just because she doesn’t want you to be happy with someone else, then, of course, it’s better to leave the past in the past, even if it wasn’t that bad. You just need to move on and not make the same mistakes.
3. She hopes to get you back
When your ex texts you out of the blue, it may mean that she can’t still forget you. If the breakup happened on your initiative, and she still lives with feelings for you, perhaps she is still going to fight for this relationship. The property of our memory is to retain mostly pleasant events. At the same time, painful and even terrible moments of the relationship fade over time. That is, in fact, she writes not to you real, but to the image that is imprinted in her memory. And all kinds of social networks often remind her how happy you were 1-2-3 years ago. And a sudden nostalgia appears: “Do you remember... then... in Mallorca?”
If ex texted me, should I respond?
What to do if your ex texts you? If the ex-girlfriend continues to text after breaking up, the line of behavior should be built depending on your own attitude to the situation. And also, you need to take into account the characteristics of the character of a woman and the possible reasons for her desire to continue to communicate.
If the breakup occurred by mutual agreement, then there is nothing wrong with ordinary correspondence. Ex-lovers often remain good friends. It is advisable to take a neutral position, respond kindly and calmly to messages, without showing excessive initiative.
How to respond to an ex contacting you if you don’t want to let her into your life anymore? You shouldn’t respond to messages if there is even the slightest suspicion that your ex-woman is manipulating you. And you shouldn’t do this if a woman writes out of boredom to kill time.
How to respond to an ex contacting you: 3 scenarios
When you get texts from your ex and don’t know what to do, how to deal with it, how to react, then in this situation, we will try to give simple tips that help you decide how to act:
What to do if your ex texts you and you are completely over her / don’t want her back
What to say when your ex texts you? So, if you don’t want to get involved in these affairs for the next couple of months, then ask her directly: “What do you want?” or just ignore her messages. If you are not going to rebuild the bridges of love and friendship, and you don’t need such a woman for nothing, then you can also say: “I don’t mind communicating, but you and I kind of broke up, and you are happy with the other, while you know perfectly well that I have a girlfriend.” You can say so even if you don’t have a woman yet. Such information will let her know that you are completely closed to her and open to new relationships.
Maybe not everything is so nice in her relationship. In any case, women themselves claim that in a happy relationship, they will never write to their exes first. Of course, you may not believe them, but this is a fact. Perhaps she is looking for a fallback, and since you communicate with her, then everything is going according to plan. But if you love your new girlfriend, why answer your exes at all? It is better to block them.
Ex texts you and you don’t mind to start over: a strategy
Sometimes couples renew their relationship, but for some, the decision may take months or even years. Starting a new relationship with your ex can be difficult, especially when you’ve spent a long time apart. During the time that you were not together, a lot may have changed in you. In many ways, you can be different people. If your ex is texting you and you want to get back in touch, you can let her know that you are interested in her. Just write: “Hi, I haven’t seen you for a long time, how are you doing?” Don’t say that you are suffering. Be relaxed. Quick answers and unwillingness to end the dialogue indicate that she also has feelings for you. But don’t make hush decisions. Even if you had a great past with your ex, you don’t know who she is today. Take your time first, get to know her again. Discover the new person she has become and let her learn new things about you. Take the time to talk about your new relationship and what your expectations are. Make sure you understand that each of you needs this relationship.
You date another woman but are sincerely interested how your ex is now
You can think of your ex-girlfriend every day, compare her with a new girlfriend – this happens only when the old relationship has not yet ended for you. You can’t let go of her emotionally. Maybe you love your ex-girlfriend. Of course, sometimes a guy no longer loves his ex but can’t let go of the past relationship emotionally. A lot depends on how the guy and his ex-girlfriend broke up. If there was an understatement in the relationship or the process was accompanied by scandals and a showdown, then perhaps the guy’s feelings for the ex were caused precisely by the understatement. But, regardless of how everything happened, such communication hurts your girlfriend. If you still reach out to your ex and are interested in her, then you still can’t realize that you are not a couple anymore. There are two options: when an ex contacts you years later, either answer her and start the relationship again or plunge into a new relationship and stop thinking about the past, no matter how hard it is.
Messages from an ex are like a free dose of heroin. Answer once and you’re hooked again. Neural connections will do their job. The brain will generate in memory all the best that you had, insidiously keeping silent about everything dirty and shameful. And so you start waiting, doubting, and evaluating options. When ex texted me, the main question is “Why did she do it? What does she want? Just chat, renew a relationship, ask for help?” Even if you ask the question directly, you will not get an honest answer because she herself doesn’t know. This is an unconscious impulse. She just wanted to do so. It is normal to love exes because we give them part of our life, soul. But to not make mistakes, you need to understand what you mean by the concept of “love”. If, to the question of “Why return the past,” you reply: “I’m tired of being alone, I love my ex-girlfriend, others put pressure on me, I’ll never meet anyone better than her,” then this is that moment when you should move on. If you feel that your soul still belongs to the same one, then it is worth fighting for this love!
