How to tell if someone is using you?

04.02.2020

Surely everyone has heard many stories about how women use men. Naturally, no one likes to be used, and people very fast get tired of being used. Nevertheless, both men and women sometimes tend to try to use other people. But this happens in different ways. Men often use women emotionally. And women, on the contrary, use men to get what they want in the material world. Therefore, it can be very difficult for men to understand the real reasons for their partner's actions and deeds. Often, men begin to believe that there are wrong to doubt their women, while those women manipulate them. This is why every man sometimes asks himself, "Am I being used?" After all, no one wants to be used.

Each person in your environment can be insidious and selfish. Even if you are trying to find a woman online, there is no guaranty that she won't use you. Often, behind a good and caring appearance, women hide their real true intentions to use. It is especially difficult to trust someone if you have personally encountered similar cases before. After being fooled by someone you love, you may become very suspicious and way too careful when it comes to building a new relationship. In this case, it is very important not to dive into the world of stereotypes thinking that all women are like that.

What Does It Mean to Be Used?

You will never mistake feeling used for something else. Especially if you had missed early signs that you are being used by a woman. When you date a professional manipulator, you even feel that you act sincerely, and it seems as if of your own free will. For example, you give her presents to cheer her up, you are ready to drive to the other city to help her with any problems, it seems to you as if she sincerely thanks you, and you may even believe that she only asks you for such services because you are the only one who she trusts. Even worse, you get the impression that you are someone special in her life. Of course, it feels nice to be special for those we like. This is why, at this stage, only a few people will doubt this happiness and ask, "Is she using me?" Although, slowly, you will be coming to the idea that something is wrong in your relationship.

Unfortunately, even the best website to meet girls won't protect you from facing a manipulator. The worst happens when you finally realize, "She played me." At first, you will feel very angry with her, and, yes, you have your right to be angry. But, quite often, men don't stop only on one woman and begin to believe that all women are like that. Those people become closed and cold when it comes to relationships. In the worst cases, people begin to consider care and simple smiles from women as something suspicious. In turn, they see their hostility towards themselves and may also respond with aggression. Because of this, it seems to them that all women are evil and treacherous by their nature. Furthermore, trusting women again becomes truly a challenge for you.

Another equally unpleasant thing is that your self-esteem begins to drop. Of course, she could use you only for her selfish purposes. For example, for your income, influence, or position in society. So, why does your self-esteem may begin to decrease? The answer to this question is quite simple. This happens because when you start searching for different being used by a woman quotes, it is very important to have a right attitude to them, or your desire to know what does it mean to be taken for granted will make you look for the real reason why a girl decided to use you. While the answer is very simple, she used you because you are a very good person, and there is nothing wrong with you.

The Main Signs That You Are Being Used

When you feel that a woman is starting to use you, it is very important to not make a mistake. After all, you don't want to offend her with your unjustified suspicions. The aforementioned can cause serious emotional trauma, and your girlfriend may have problems recovering from it later. Decent men will never want to intentionally harm a woman in any way. Nevertheless, it is not worth turning a blind eye to her strange behavior. If you can’t find a logical explanation for her behavior, then you should take a closer look because you may have faced a manipulator. Therefore, be vigilant if you have a feeling that you are being used. Here are our 5 reliable signs you're being used by a woman.

1. She has little interest in you

Needless to say that, if you like a person, you want to know as much as possible about him or her. You will be interested in every detail about your partner's personality. Also, you will pay attention to his or her friends and family. After all, they can tell you a lot. Therefore, if a woman is not interested in your friends and family, this is one of the signs that she is not interested in you either.

2. She avoids talking about you

Apply this sign only in combination with other signs since, at the beginning of your relationship, she may do this purely because she doesn't want to rush things between you two. But if you have been dating for quite a time, and her closest friends don't know anything about you, then this is a negative fact. This means that she doesn't love you.

3. She doesn’t listen to you

A girl’s disinterest in conversations with you may mean that she doesn't have any long-term plans on being with you. In a healthy relationship, everything that you tell her is important to her. Also, partners care about each other emotions. She remembers everything you've told her. And if she cannot remember what your favorite book is, it may mean that she is not interested in you. Especially if you have repeatedly told her about your favorite book.

4. She doesn’t want to spend time with you

If she doesn't want to spend time with you, even when she is really free, or prefers to meet her friends instead of going on a date with you, it may mean that she is not interested in you. In healthy relationships, both partners want to spend time together.

5. Her mood changes too fast and without any reason

Want to know how to know you're being used by a woman? It is very simple, pay attention to her mood when she is with you, and analyze how you influence it. In case when you date a manipulator, her mood will be changing very often. For example, she may get angry at you for giving her a less expensive phone than she expected.

Why Do Girls Use Men and What for?

There can be many various reasons why women may use men. Often men in women's hands serve as tools for achieving their goals. Some women are initially convinced that all men are inherently vicious and bad. Therefore, they are not ashamed to manipulate men. Those women see men only as instruments and can easily adapt to any circumstances. Also, they are quite skilled at presenting the situation in a way that suits them. And if you start suspecting something, and a dispute arises, they will blame you for everything. By the way, they also try to use their tears against you. By doing that, they try to put some emotional pressure on you and make you feel guilty.

Another important aspect of manipulation in relationships is that manipulators not always seek money in their victims. For example, some women may try to manipulate you because they have influence. Those women will never ask for gifts, but she will desperately want to accompany you everywhere. They will be very upset if you tend to stay at home. Plus, another interesting fact is that those women will behave differently in public and when they are alone with you. They will be much warmer with your friends and colleagues than with you. This happens because initially, those women use you only to meet other influential people. Therefore, they try in every way to please them, and not you.

One of the most difficult types of manipulation is emotional. In this case, it will be very hard to notice her manipulations. After all, she doesn't constantly ask you for any gifts. She also doesn't use you as a tool to get in touch with someone. You are an ordinary average man with average income, an ordinary family, and friends. So, why would she want to use you? To satisfy her ego! She obviously believes that you are no match for her. This is why she is interested in manipulating you. She will attack you morally, making you feel wrong about everything. In all quarrels and troubles, only you will be the one to blame. She does this because she can rise her self-esteem only at your expense. Those people often throw negative emotions at their partners and then behave as if nothing has happened.

How to Protect Yourself from Being Used by a Girl?

If you find out that your woman is using you, then you have already made the biggest step towards fixing this problem. This is the hardest part of the whole process. After that, you should find out exactly what you want. Do you want to continue relations with her and fix this problem? Or do you completely want to forget about her? Everything, of course, depends on how much you have been manipulated and for what purposes. If the damage was not too significant, then you may try to fix this problem. And in case you notice that she doesn’t feel anything for you at all, then it is better to break up and forget about her as soon as possible. This means that she will never change. Here are some more ways to protect yourself from manipulations:

1. Don’t play her games

Manipulators like to play this interesting game. If she wants to get something from you but receives a refusal, she can say something like, "The real man would do [something that she wants you to do] for his woman!" She will do this to hit your ego. But it is worth remembering that being a man doesn't mean fulfilling every whim of some young lady. Even if you have the resources to do so. If you do not want to, then don't do it.

2. Ignore or evade her manipulations

Does she hint at something she wants to get from you? Ignore and neglect her hints. Plus, try to evade her direct phrases. The main idea is to let her know that she won't get what she wants by her manipulations. Tell her that you don't intend to spend your time and resources on her manipulations and trifles.

3. Be confident

If you see that she is going to hit you with her tantrums, then the best thing you can do is to remain confident and calm. It is quite possible that she needs something from you, and she is trying to put pressure on you to get what she wants. Straighten your back. Raise your head. Take a confident pose. This will reduce her enthusiasm because she will not receive the expected reaction.

4. Avoid being too generous

If you see that your girlfriend tries to manipulate you, then don't present her all kinds of gifts. Even if you have the resources to do so. Remember, you don’t have to give her everything she wants. Let the gifts be only for certain reasons. Not when she wanted and asked, but when it is really necessary and appropriate. She will understand that she won't receive what she needs from you unless you want to give her something yourself.

5. Use her tricks against her

If during your next quarrel she will try to attack you with something like, "You are a man..." or "Why don't you love me?" it means that she wants to get something from you. To disarm her, you may try to respond to her in the same way. Or, use this strategy when you want something in return from her.

In addition, even if you notice manipulation in the girl’s behavior, this is not always fatal. She may also love you, but for some reason, she doesn't know how else she can receive pleasant things from you. In this case, you still should talk to her about this matter, and you may give her a second chance. If she really respects and loves you, she will quickly forget about her manipulations. After all, for her, you are much more important than your gifts. She will primarily give priority to your overall happiness. In this case, your relationship may become honest and sincere if you go through this together.

In other cases, don't expect that you will deal with the fact that your girlfriend has been manipulating you since the very beginning of your relationship. The aforementioned can be a real knockout blow. It is always difficult to forget about manipulating, especially if you were manipulated by someone you love. As we have said, you must make a final decision whether you want to be with her or not. If you want to fix your relationship, you should have a difficult conversation with her about real reasons why she tried to manipulate you. If those reasons can be easily fixed, none of you should ever remind anyone about this problem.