Why and How to Take a Break From a Relationship
11.03.2020
Relationships can be different: calm and warm, or passionate and resembling a fire show over the abyss. In any case, the quality and nature of relationships with a beloved one play a huge role in our lives. Not only a feeling of happiness and fullness of life depends on them, but it’s also about your physical health to a certain extent.
Sometimes love or family relationships are at a dead-end or a crossroads, and partners (or one of them) don’t understand where and how to move on, and whether it is even worth giving a try. One day, your partner may say, “Let’s take a break in a relationship. We should sort things out and realize what to do next.” There is nothing wrong with such an offer. When we are having a difficult time in relationships, but we don’t want to give up our partners, we should get some time away from each other and stop the endless quarrels. When you are taking a break in a relationship, you don’t necessarily leave forever. However, unfortunately, in some cases, one of the partners realizes that this partnership is not worth it to reanimate them. When you take a relationship break, you as if pass the verification. You are trying to understand whether you will do without this person. Let's take a closer look at taking a break in a relationship rules and try to find the answer to the question, “What does taking a break mean in a relationship?”
Can a Break in a Relationship Solve Anything?
It is a mistake to perceive the relationship between two people as something static and unchangeable. According to psychology, this is an evolving process. When you go through life together, the situations around you are constantly changing. Your personality also changes, you gain life experience, so your views become different, and you become a more mature person who can easily register on a dating site to meet single ladies. But when you face challenges, you and your partner react to them differently. And differences in views may affect your relationship and make them worse.
At the very beginning of the relationship, everything is different. You are both in love, and the hormones make it difficult to see the partner’s drawbacks. More precisely, you prefer to turn a blind eye to them because unity is more important than differences in this period. Therefore, the shortcomings of the partner do not annoy you since feelings of love and attraction come to the fore.
Any communication requires the ability to compromise, any relationships cannot do without it even if it’s about communication with a single woman online. However, gradually, dissatisfaction and claims to each other begin to accumulate. Conflicts are possible at this stage. What to do? Should you immediately tell each other that the relationship is over? That would be a big mistake. Before you say such words, you should reflect on how to get out of the conflict and what both of you can do.
Can taking a break from a relationship help? Sometimes it happens that to save your cracked relationships, you should move away from each other at least for a short while. There is nothing to worry about. Such a pause does not mean a breakup. It will only help understand the problem and way of dealing with it. Sometimes taking a break from a relationship can become a safety ring and the only possible way out. So, answering the question, “Does taking a break from a relationship help?” one can say yes, it helps.
How Often Does a Pause in a Relationship Lead to a Break?
If you are going to take a break from a relationship, you should set a timeline. Psychologists recommend a range from two to six weeks. First, you need time to calm down. If the pause lasts less, your experiences will not have time to calm down, and you will not be able to realize your thoughts and feelings and understand them.
And if the pause lasts more than six weeks, such a break can negatively affect the relationship. If you have already distanced from each other and become strangers, then a prolonged pause can only worsen the situation. However, don’t forget that all couples have different relationships. Some couples may need a year, or even more, to realize how much they are dear to each other and to make sure they do not want to break up. So, it all depends on the characteristics of the psychology of each person.
It must be emphasized that if you just leave for some reason (business trip, etc.), but at the same time, you have a good relationship, and you continue to communicate normally, this is not a pause in relationships. A pause is when you “close the shutters” and stop communicating. You don’t call each other, send messages, chat on Skype, etc.
A break in a relationship is a different thing. If you take a break, you must completely abandon all the contacts with each other. You should wait until a new attitude to each other grows in silence and emptiness, and a sensation of uplift and novelty will appear. Well, the fact that you are taking a break doesn’t mean that you are single now and can start dating other people. And even if you set aside a moral and ethical aspect of the issue, pretending that you are single, you look for oblivion, but it will not work out. You take a pause not to search for new impressions, but to reflect on the relationships.
In 6 out of 10 cases when people decide on the break in their relationships, they are seriously thinking about a breakup and subconsciously ready to it. So, over half of all couples decide to end their relationships and move on. Is taking a break in a relationship good? Yes, it is. It helps partners understand whether they are happier with a partner or without them.
Main Reason Why You May Need to Take a Relationship Break
When a couple’s relationship begins to deteriorate, both partners experience negative emotions: stress, depression, and fear. Women tend to express their feelings, while guys prefer to hide them inside, but this does not mean that they feel nothing. The main feeling is fear that the partner will leave you alone. At the same time, you understand that it is impossible to agree with the way things are now. The result is a psychological node when it is difficult to understand not only your emotions but also the feelings of a partner. So, what are the main reasons for taking a break in relationships?
1. You constantly quarrel and cannot stop on time
You should take a break if you quarrel all the time, and it doesn’t even necessary to have some serious reason for that. If you cannot stop arguing on certain topics, and it seems to you that no arguments will help you prove your point of view or nothing can convince you, then you should take a break. A pause in the relationship will help you understand the prospects of your couple and find out if you need this relationship at all. Make sure to discuss this moment with a partner. Tell your beloved one that you want to take a break because you are sincerely concerned about the differences that exist between you.
2. You cannot fulfill some obligations
Sometimes, basic obligations such as cohabitation, household chores, committed relationships can be difficult for one or both partners. If you have difficulties in these matters, it is time to take a break in your relationship. Keeping a distance from each other will help you realize how important this person is and whether they suit you at all. Of course, there are cases when a pause does not give a clear answer. You may feel that this person is your perfect match, but you are not yet ready for new obligations. Then it’s worth discussing all these moments with a beloved one. You may ask them to give you a certain time.
3. You don’t want to go home
One of the most obvious “symptoms” is the lack of desire to get home as soon as possible. Earlier you wanted to get off early from work and rush to your beloved soulmate. But over time, the usual return home became harder and harder. If a grouchy spouse is waiting at home, a person more often begins to linger at work or leave home under any pretext. The same happens when a partner feels bored with each other. In this case, a change of scenery can help you. If you take a break and devote time to yourself, then maybe you will look at your relationships from a new side. Anyway, it’s very important to change the emotional environment at home. Talks only about household chores do not help strengthen relationships.
4. You are tired
Very often people who decide on a break in their relationships, have neither energy nor desire to deal with problems that arise every day. They are not satisfied with many moments, whether it’s about a stage of their relationships, joint pastime or something else. Maybe you have just been spending too much time together, and now you want to get some personal space and a bit of freedom. Maybe you have faced boredom, and you don’t know what to discuss with each other besides some routine stuff, or you have reached the moment of the next crisis.
5. You have got a good dose of reality
You’ve finally put off your rose-colored glasses and realized the situation. One day you woke up next to the "stranger." Where is that cute amazing person you met a couple of years ago? You are living with a completely unsuitable person who will never become your one and only. You cannot understand how it has happened, but you realize that you want to break up and get back to the dating scene, but you are afraid to voice that. So, you inform your partner about “taking a break from a relationship to find yourself,” knowing that it’s over.
Take a Break From a Relationship: How to Make It Right
Sometimes the last chance to save a relationship is to leave for a while. A pause can end with a final breakup or take you to the next level of trust and understanding. It all depends on how the partners treat each other and whether they will be able to do everything right. Here are the basic rules for a break in a relationship that may come you in handy if you decide on such a serious step. The following tips will help understand yourself and make the right decision. So, how to take a break from relationships?
Realize why you want to take a break
How to take a break in a relationship? First, you should do some soul-searching and ask yourself, “Should I take a break from my relationship?” Do you feel that relationships lack passion? Is there a new stage in your life, and you are not sure that you are ready to move on with this person? You should be aware of whether this challenge can be met. If your partner is childfree, and you start dreaming about a kid, there is no need to take a break since it's time to leave. Do not pause, postponing the breakup and trying to spare your partner’s feelings. If you’ve decided to take a break, do it for yourself, not for them. If you feel that you are confused and unable to think adequately, perhaps you really need time to assess the situation.
Do not make a scene
If it is your partner who has offered to take a break, then you should try to control yourself. The worst line of behavior in such a situation is to try to dissuade a partner from taking a break or make a scene. Allow your loved one to be themselves in their personal space. No matter how close your relationship may seem to you, everyone has the right to personal time and space. The more you strive to occupy all this space and time, the stronger the centrifugal forces will be. So, you should neither get defensive nor begin to "say goodbye forever." Do not do anything that may become the last step if you do not want a breakup, of course. And there is no need to return gifts and call your friends with an offer to celebrate your breakup. Do not burn bridges since you may still need them.
Discuss the terms of your break
You should be frank and sincere with each other. Tell them why you need a break. Discuss whether you stay in touch or eliminate communication. And the most important thing is whether you will communicate with other people (potential partners) during this period and whether loyalty remains an important term. Another serious point worth discussing is how to treat the break if you live together. Common things or a pet will not let you take a normal break from a relationship. Try to eliminate all interdependencies during the pause. The better you do that, the easier it will be for you to abstract from the situation and free yourself from its influence.
Do not set too strict deadlines
It can be difficult because it is not clear how long the break will last and when it will be over. However, you cannot know in advance how soon you will sort out your feelings and what difficulties you will face. Deadlines will only make you feel pressure and lead to disappointment. The partner may start blaming you for not being ready to decide. You will begin to feel guilty for your uncertainty. The only thing worth agreeing on is that you will let each other know if something changes. You will say everything when you make the final decision. They will do that when they will not be ready to wait any longer and want to leave.
Use this break time to know yourself better
Do everything that you lacked when you were with the partner. Spend more time with family and friends, find a new hobby. Just stay alone because this is not always possible in a relationship. There is a difference in whether you feel uncomfortable without a specific person or just without a partner. A break in a relationship is a good time to feel it. Ask yourself whether fear of loneliness is a good reason to be with someone. If a break in your relationship has become a breath of freedom for you, it's time to think about whether it is worth being in relationships now. If you're happier alone then it's time to break up.
Be Ready For Any Outcome
During a break, a couple learns the art of compromise, prepares for fruitful cooperation, analyzes their relationships to return to a new level. In theory, this should be so. In practice, unfortunately, things are not so rosy. A break is accompanied by a possible risk of a breakup, and the couple should be ready for this.
Maybe you will suddenly realize that you no longer want to be in a relationship. Of course, this will break the heart of the partner. But maybe this will for the better? You might be unhappy in a relationship but cannot find the courage to admit it. It is better to leave now than in a year or five years when the breakup will bring even more pain. A break is a way to take a fresh look at yourself and your relationship. However, you must be prepared for any result that you may get after the break.
