How to get a girl out of your league



  1. What does out of my league mean?
  2. How to get a girl out of your league?
  3. Dating out of your league
  4. Is she out of my league?
  5. Way out of my league

Have you ever been in a relationship? Or are you actively looking? Doubtless, every man tried to get a girlfriend, but what if this girl is definitely out of your league? The lucky few who are considered as handsome, sexy, manly and, in addition, have a high-flying career, outrageous salary and a posh car. But if you aren’t a people person and got used to keep yourself in yourself, feel comfortable while crouching over a computer screen and belong to that kind of non-popular guys called “geeks”? In this case, looking for a girl is even harder. What should a boy do if he fell in love with a girl that is out of his league? And the most paramount question we’ll try to answer - how to get a girl that’s out of your league?

dating someone out of your league

What does out of my league mean?

Is she too good for you? Or does she think she is too good? First of all, let’s try to understand what does out of my league mean. This phrase may relate to the differences you have in lots of areas. Figure out why you think the girl you like is too good for you. Very often the case is a person’s self-acceptance and attitude to themselves. Don’t undersell your own look, nature, interests or habits. Surely, every person has something staggering and irritating in the way they speak or laugh, or rising to insults, whatever. Try to focus on pegs you have and nil desperandum! If the difference between you and the girl covers such facets as financial well-being, powerful friends, connections in society and status, then start developing yourself, try to get a salaried job, improve your look or physical shape and get ready to gain what you want. The ball is in your court.

How to get a girl out of your league?

If someone you fancy is obviously a way out of your league, gather your courage and follow some rules:

Do Not Forget about the status

Status determines the place of a person in society and can be a real problem: many men subconsciously believe that their status is lower than the status of others. In fact, status, like many other social phenomena, is absolutely ephemeral - there are always people who are confident in their own high status having no basis for that. In this case, it is better to take an example from them - confidence in one’s own high status will provide the man with absolute confidence in himself.

Always strive for more

Anyone can always make his life even better - the constant striving for a higher standard of living makes each person more developed, versatile, confident, ultimately turning them into a much better person than before. If everyone around them is unhappy - it is worth making new friends, literally reaching a new, higher level, proving to themselves and those around them that there is always a lot to strive for in life.

Learn from your mistakes

From any mistake, even the most disastrous, you can extract a positive result - a common rule forcing you to learn from your mistakes is still valid. The lesson learned as a result of an error will always be more useful than the price paid for it - the main thing is to be able to extract the necessary experience from failure.

Disregard what others say

Most people take the estimates of others too close to the heart. Self-doubt and excessive attention to the opinions of others can be quite dangerous: instead of not paying attention to someone's disapproval, a person begins to think that they are not worthy of approval at all. In fact, the views of others are their own business, which has nothing to do with a person.

Changing Yourself, Not a Woman

Common advice from the arsenal of all psychologists - not being able to change other people, change yourself. The advice, despite all its hardness, is really true: if a man wants to succeed with a woman, you should not wait until she changes her views and demands but rather start changing yourself.

is she out of my leagueTake things as they are

Most men would like the world, women and even themselves to be different. They complain, criticize and behave like innocent victims when the real world does not coincide with their own picture of the "ideal" world, created a long time ago. Instead of falling into depression every time when the picture of the world disagrees with reality, a man should accept the situation as it is - even if it is very difficult. However, only in this way can a man influence the situation himself, changing both the world around him and his own personality.

Abandon external value orientation

Psychologists have introduced such a concept as "external value orientation" - most people are constantly looking for approval of their actions, appearance, thoughts, clothes from other people, thereby affirming that they are right. However, this behavior demonstrates a person’s lack of confidence in their own abilities - instead of looking for confirmation of their own values with other people, a man needs to become such a source of moral support for himself. The result will not hesitate to wait - abandoning the external value orientation, the man will be much more confident, strong and attractive.

Create an attractive image

In order to gain self-confidence, it is necessary to create for oneself the image of an ideal man - the one anyone would like to become, and then get at least a little closer to his own traits to this ideal. Creating an image attractive in his own eyes, a man quickly becomes attractive in the eyes of the woman he wants to win.

Give up the inner "wimp"

Inside every man, even the most mature and successful, sometimes a sort of inner “wimp” wakes up, which negates all the success of a man in the eyes of the opposite sex. The existence of this “second self” should be forgotten once and for all - although it will take a lot of time. The “inner weakling” makes itself felt in an obvious way - when a man feels his own superiority, speaking badly of others, or refuses to take responsibility for his own actions, blaming other people for failure.

To take responsibility

A man who wants to succeed both in life and with women needs to abandon the role of the victim and become part of the ways to win the girl of his dream. The man who himself becomes the initiator of the events - to take responsibility for thoughts, actions and their results. Of course, it is always easier to blame someone else for what is happening than to take responsibility - but it is the courage to make decisions and bear responsibility for them that make a man a man, and his life is what he wants.

And a couple of practical pieces of advice how to get a girl that’s out of your league:

  • Do you despise “friendzone”? To no purpose. According to a study conducted at the University of Texas, friendship with a girl, which preceded the expression of feelings, seriously increases your chances of a relationship with her.
  • If you failed to catch the girl of your dreams in the first minute of your acquaintance, do not rush to ride off into the sunset - all is not yet lost. You need time to reveal your best qualities. Do not rush to ask her on a date (here you probably will be rejected), just try to cross with her more often. The initiated communication will allow you to show your best.
  • How to start setting up social bridges? First of all, find out what your darling is keen on and get carried away by the same. Is she doing photography? Surprise her with the knowledge of the subtleties of setting the light. Does she love to travel? Transfix her with stories about your ascent of Everest.
  • However, do not overdo it. Despite all your endeavors, no one can guarantee that your chosen one will surely be kindled with response feelings. According to the study, the maximum term for reflection is 17 months. If after that period of time the girl has not bothered to reciprocate, you can hardly wait any longer.

Dating out of your league

It is likely that you think that a relationship is an unreal achievement. Sometimes you give her a bouquet of three roses, accept the fact that her toothbrush and comb are left in your house, you take her to the cinema and for walks and think that you are laying out to the maximum.

We should upset you, man, but a relationship is the same job as the one you do in your office. If you want to get something good - work hard. There is no other way to gain anything.

It is very important for any woman to understand that her boyfriend takes an active part in her life, is interested in her affairs, helps to solve minor problems. Then she feels needed and desired. Nobody tells you to shift all responsibility to yourself and live her life. But work hard at least to pretend that you are really interested to know what is happening to her.

Here are a couple of tips how to date a girl out of your league:

  • how to get a girl way out of your leagueDo not invite her constantly to the same place - women love diversity.
  • Come to the meeting at least sometimes with flowers - modest bunches are low in price but delight girls as much as an armful of roses.
  • Do not delay the date, especially at first, until the girl starts hinting at ending the date and going home.
  • Spend money. Dating in the park, on the embankment, at the opening of the museum exhibition is a wonderful decision, but your lady deserves not only them but also cafes, theaters, cinemas, amusement parks. If you want to meet a girl, you have to spend money on her.
  • Create a good mood. If you feel bad or have a disgusting mood, it is better to cancel the meeting altogether than to come to her with a grumpy face and spoil the mood of your girl.
  • Lead a dialogue: do not talk nonstop but do not be silent like a fish. Tell things about yourself, but do not forget to ask the girl.
  • Look for topics that will interest both of you.
  • Do not rush with sex - figure out whether you want to sleep with the girl or to date her for a long time.
  • Surprise her. “My dear, I’ve bought theatre tickets” works much better than “On Saturday we always go bowling and I see no reason to change the rules.”
  • Remember that women love with their ears, which means you need to make compliments and declare love.

Is she out of my league?

Again and again, there are no strict rules to get someone you treat like a goddess. Make sure the girl you want is actually so special and worth all of your efforts. Sometimes, loving someone way too much, we idealize them and can’t any longer see the disadvantages, bad habits, changes of mood, etc. Love is a strong feeling but do not let it grow into an obsession. It’s okay to see someone’s weaknesses, fears, imperfections as we are people, not Gods. No one is perfect, so maybe the girl that behaves as a princess and makes you feel bad isn’t actually worth YOU. Is she definitely out of your league or does she just want you to sort of “run after her” in order to feel special?

Way out of my league

Knowing that someone is out of your league doesn’t mean you can’t get this person. There are a lot of couples which consist of people that differ from each other so much. Unequal marriages have always existed and probably always will exist. In past centuries, it was considered the norm when a young and charming girl married an elderly man. And the young men were burning with passion for more mature but no less charming women. And the reason for this was either money or personal gain, rarely such marriages were concluded out of love. In our days, unequal marriages also happen. Remember that Meghan Markle, the Duchess of Sussex, sometime was just an actress like dozens of other celebrities. If every girl has a chance to meet a prince, then every boy has a chance to get a queen as well.

Everyone chooses their own future. Someone is looking for wealth, status, and someone - for love. Your income and age gap are of no consequence if together you are free and feel comfortable. All you need is to understand each other perfectly, find support in your partner. All you have to do is love each other. So, never despair when facing some difficulties in attempts to get someone who is considered to be out of your league. Even the stars sometimes fall from the sky and the lucky one is that who has enough courage to find and take them.

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