Taking a Break from a Relationship: Does It Work?

16.04.2019

Relationships are not an easy thing. They can’t always be smooth, understandable, and simple. Life circumstances change, people change over time, and love of people changes along with it. In the life of every couple, probably, there are moments when love seems completely devoid of meaning. People suddenly realize that they lack something important. But long-term affairs are also the result of serious work, therefore, few people decide to break up. Many prefer the method of temporary separation, which is known as a pause in a relationship. Today, such pauses are not uncommon.

taking a break from a relationship

People who are in long-term affairs and want to get to know their own feelings a little bit better often resort to it. Usually, this decision is caused by the lack of mutual understanding in a couple, frequent quarrels, differences that have arisen over time, etc. It is one of the ways to determine what the future of this couple will be and whether it will be at all. Taking a break from a relationship, partners get the opportunity to check their feelings, while not losing their love forever. This is a great opportunity to find a way out of the crisis or end everything less painfully. Today we are going to tell you what a relationship break is, what leads to the need for it, and how it can end.

What Does Taking a Break Mean in a Relationship?

As a rule, a pause is a kind of stop signal. For some, it’s time to think, while for others, it's just a beautiful phrase to end everything painlessly. However, in the second variant, it speaks of cowardice when there is no strength to say that everything irritates. If your loved one suggested you take a time-out, don’t get upset immediately. Perhaps he or she really needs a little time for themselves, especially if you have been together for a long time. Each couple decides for themselves in what form a time-out will occur. But there are several basic forms that are used most often.

Check. One of the partners decides to take some time off solely to check whether his or her soulmate will be faithful, bored and happy, left alone. They believe that this is the best way to understand if loved ones are serious about them, and what kind of future they can have as a couple. It is quite difficult to predict the results of such a test. And when everything goes wrong, people don’t know what to do during a break in a relationship.

Forced time-out. This is perhaps the most rational and expedient type. It happens when there is a serious conflict. It is much easier to accept it, make the right conclusions and make the right decision after the emotions calm down, and anger, resentment, and other negative feelings subside. And this will happen much faster if the source of these emotions is not nearby. When you are nervous, you can do a lot of things wrong, for example, end everything that could be successfully established. A time-out allows you to look at the situation from a slightly different angle.

Despair. This kind of breaks is often provoked by cheating. This is a rather rash decision, caused by the desire to never see a cheater. So, you may ask, “Is taking a break in a relationship good”? Yes, such a time-out is often beneficial, as it allows people to think about solving the problem. In most cases, the desire and ability to forgive appear later.

how to deal with taking a break in a relationshipProtest. This type is demonstrative indifference of one of the partners, the purpose of which is to show the ability to leave without regret. In this case, a partner hopes that a loved one will beg him or her to return. But these hopes are not always justified. You should know that love is not always safely restored after such a situation. Are you ready for such a result?

Does Taking a Break from a Relationship Work?

It is not for nothing they say that a time-out for love is like the wind for a fire. A temporary time-out can relieve accumulated tension and fatigue. Seething emotions are not the best helper in this case. They will not help resolve conflicts. Sometimes, taking a break in a long-distance relationship, there comes the understanding that the existing troubles are insignificant, and there is simply no reason for quarrels and disputes. There is an opportunity to realize own mistakes and find compromises. So, it may help in some cases. But still, there is some danger about taking a pause. In fact, a time-out is more like running from problems than a way to solve them, especially if you do it on a very negative note after a major quarrel or in anger. It seems that after breaking up for a while, conflicts will disappear, and love will start from scratch. In this case, the time-out looks like a logical and relatively safe solution. But it can be perceived by your partner exactly as a step towards a breakup. So, if there is a problem, it must be solved, not postponed for later.

Perhaps the most difficult and unpleasant situation arises when one of the partners, having overestimated own affection, decides to return to a loved one, while the other one decides to leave. How to be in this case? No one has control over the feelings and desires of another person. Persuasion and threats will not return past feelings. Of course, you shouldn’t think about the negative, but you always need to know that life goes on. And all that is happening is only a step forward, for the better.

How Long Should a Relationship Break Be?

Psychologists advise this range: from two to five weeks. You will need time to calm down above all. If the pause lasts less, you will not have enough time to cool down. And if the pause lasts more than five weeks, it can adversely affect love. If people had managed to become strangers even before the decision to rest from each other was made, then it can only increase the alienation. But actually, the exact amount of time doesn’t exist, and there is no clear answer on, "How long should a break in a relationship last?" Each couple is different. Some couples may need a year (or even more) to realize that they don’t imagine life separately.

It all depends on the characteristics of the psychology of each person. We must especially say that if you just go somewhere for some reason (work, business trip, etc.), but everything is good, and you continue to communicate normally, this is an absolutely different case. A real pause is when you stop your communication during a relationship break at all: you neither call each other nor send messages and communicate via Skype, etc. If you take some time off, you must completely abandon contact with each other.

You can create a temporary emptiness and wait until a new attitude to each other grows in silence, and the feeling of romance appears again. An important question is whether it is necessary to make new acquaintances, go on dates, etc., during the pause. The answer is no! This is just an attempt to corner your own thoughts and try to forget everything that bound you together.

Taking a Break in a Relationship: How to Make It Work

You need to learn the rules i.e. you have to talk to the loved one about the limits of what is permitted to avoid unpleasant surprises and misunderstandings. In general, sincere talk is beneficial for any love affairs, and its absence leads to the main troubles. And taking a break in a relationship rules, you should consider the following ones:

is taking a break in a relationship goodPrepare a loved one in advance. Try to give your soulmates excellent examples of how your friends practiced it, and then again started relationships with new forces and full of inspiration. Tell about familiar people and their loved ones who had been forced to move to different cities, but when they met again, they realized that it was fate, and they couldn’t lose each other. Offer your loved one not to meet a certain period but promise that you will be together again.

Choose a suitable time. It is not necessary to talk about temporary pause when your loved ones have a lot of work or in a bad mood. Come to your partners with such an offer at a time when they are calm and happy with life – this will alleviate the situation. Try to make your offer look as reasonable and rational as possible. Don’t shout and don’t try to provide a lot of arguments. Just say that it will be better for both of you.

Calmly explain your position. Don’t make this decision alone. Make it clear that this is the only way out for you two right now and you are not going to break up forever. Listen carefully to the position of your partner and find a compromise.

Discuss all conditions in advance. Agree that none of you will try to make a new romance during this period. Another important thing that you should talk about is how to behave if you cohabit. Some things that belong to both of you will stop you from resting from each other. Try to eradicate all dependencies.

Don’t set deadlines. It can be difficult because it is not clear how long the separation will last and how it will end. Time constraints will only lead to frustration. Maybe a loved one will put pressure on you because of your uncertainty. But don’t fall for it! You don’t owe anything.

Be the person of your word. If you change your mind 100 times, your partner will never take you and your decisions seriously. Don’t be fooled by the temptations. Most likely, during such a pause, fate will begin to seduce you. Don’t give in! If you feel a strong craving for another, end the existing affair first.

Fill your life. Taking a break from a relationship to find yourself, do all that you lacked being in a couple or just stay alone for some time because it is not always possible when you have a soulmate. If a time-out becomes like fresh air for you, then think about whether it is worth being with someone now. You have to understand that life doesn’t consist only of love and affairs. There are you and your interests. Otherwise, you will urgently want to return to it simply because you feel bored.

Study the psychology of love. Study the literature on this topic, read blogs, watch videos, and so on. Unfortunately, most of the pauses in love end with tears and regrets. Remember that a temporary time-out is just a way to get away from the accumulated problems. But it can help when a very unworthy behavior of a partner becomes the problem. However, when your behavior is also far from ideal, the time-out most often leads to the final separation. But this is a rare case. Therefore, if you still appreciate your loved one, use more productive methods of improving relationships. Love, mutual respect, and mutual understanding will cope with any difficulties and trials that arise in the life of a couple. If people appreciate and love each other, they don’t need a time-out to realize this.

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