What Is the Meaning of Unconditional Love and How to Show It?

16.04.2019

Today we will answer the questions like:

  • What is unconditional love in a relationship?
  • Does unconditional love exist?
  • How can we define unconditional love?
  • What are unconditional love symbols?
  • How to love unconditionally?

Let’s start from the question of what unconditional love means.

unconditional love means

What Is Unconditional Love?

True unconditional love is a sensation that does not require any underlying reason. It is unlike love that is conditional, when we love for one quality or another, for an achievement or an attitude. It is believed this feeling is quite common among parents. There is nothing like maternal love in this world: regardless of appearance, intelligence, success, charisma, a mother loves her child no matter what. It is also interesting that way back in the day, many psychologists considered such a feeling as a privilege of a mother - they thought that a father is not able to love his child just like that, and his feelings are awakened only after a certain period of time. For example, when a child can already speak and becomes a full-fledged person. However, this is a controversial statement because many men feel absolutely no love for their children, even when the children are just helpless little babies.

Psychologist Judith Hippenriter, who considers this feeling for a child to be one of the most important components in a child-parent communication, spent a lot of time studying this feeling. Psychoanalyst Erich Fromm believed that all our life we strive for this love and if we don’t receive it, we have some mental problems or fanaticism. The ancient Greeks called it "Agape." By this word, they meant something that is selfless and capable of sacrifice. The portrayal of this feeling can get distorted: many writers turn it into love in spite of troubles and suffering. Dostoevsky thought of this feeling like something that can be felt for the entire human race, not just for a spouse.

Mother Teresa can also be considered a supporter of unconditional love in relationships, she said, "If one is to judge someone, they will not have time to cherish them." This feeling is not about people we want to have a love affair with. It can be love for the Lord for a religious individual, love for one’s neighbor as a sincerely kind person, or, again, love for one’s own child as a continuation of the maternal and fatherly instincts. With all of that uncertainty and different types of approach to this phenomenon, some questions arise. And while it would be quite hard to answer all of these questions, one thing is certain.

Is Unconditional Love Real?

Many people do not know the power of such a phenomenon. But some are well familiar with it. It all starts with the parents. If a child grows up in love, despite their numerous mistakes, problems in school, behavior, level of intelligence, they won’t end up being a rude and awful person. unconditional love in relationshipsFor such an individual it is clear that they will always be loved, no matter what. When confronted with this feeling, we often have problems because we confuse our egoism with sincere feelings. When we look at a person with some selfish interests in mind, we deprive ourselves of this phenomenon. It is very dangerous, and we often end up missing it in our lives.

I will now share some of my own personal experience with you. After I had met my husband, we met our mutual friend on the street, he asked us how we are doing, and my husband told him that there was nothing better than coming home every day and being met by a beautiful woman. I will remember these words for the rest of my life. Of course, our feelings aren’t as exciting as they were before, but this is a completely normal thing. In the bustle of gray everyday life, we are very tired, nervous, and we are not always in the best of moods. Yet even if I am having trouble with cooking and other household chores, I always try to be in a good mood. And I do it because of my kids, I am an example for them, and I have to express my emotions clearly, and I should not yell at them and let them see the angry side of me. To me, kids, parents, husband, and friends are all sources of this magical feeling. Even when I take offense at someone, I start thinking about the people that I love. I do not want to waste my precious time in a bad mood, sorting out disagreements with someone and being angry.

Let’s now look into some signs of unconditional love.

How to Recognize Unconditional Love?

Don’t fool yourself

The first thing that attracts your attention is, let’s say, the beautiful eyes or cute laughter of a person. You are just starting to get to know each other and to learn each other’s quirks and traits of character. This excitement of new discoveries makes one feel that they are in love. Yet it is still a hobby, completely dependent on surface-level characteristics. As a bond gets older, the spark fades away. And cute little quirks can even get stale or even annoying.

You start wondering

In the next stage of an alliance, your personal values come into play. It becomes important whether your spouse shares them with you. If not, the beautiful eyes and cute laughter fade into obscurity. Now you begin to think about what kind of love you have: is it still just a hobby or is it a real thing? It’s perfectly normal to start overestimating your emotions and asking yourself these questions. When you ask questions – you seek to find answers. When you reach this stage, you need to know what this magical phenomenon is. Unfortunately, most people don’t really know what it is, and this causes some problems.

It’s not about just accepting a person as they are

People believe that this feeling means to love a person no matter what they do or think. This misconception can be dangerous as it can get you stuck in a toxic affair. What your spouse does every day affects your life, feelings, and well-being. You should never close your eyes to all of their actions. This phenomenon, in fact, means that you love a spouse no matter what happens to them: in sickness and in health. You will always be there, no matter what.

It is not codependency

This does not mean that a spouse should use your love to satisfy their emotional needs. Ultimately, each of you is responsible for your own prosperity. When a person relies on another person to feel happy it is an addiction. You lose your identity, and you are no longer an independent person.

It does not mean that you should adore everything about your spouse

Your spouse is human, and people have their own flaws. You do not have to adore each of these flaws. In fact, this phenomenon means that you may not like something, and this is quite normal. If you love everything about them, it suggests that you focus only on the good traits of their character, you overlook the negative ones. If you decide to ignore their flaws, you are probably still at the stage of entrainment and have not achieved this magical feeling yet.

your love is unconditionalIt doesn’t mean to be clingy

The desire to protect your loved ones is a natural reaction. However, excessive protection can do you a disservice. When you love your spouse, you wish them to take steps to improve their lives and achieve their goals, even if they face failure and disappointment. You want to see their progress, but not at your expense or by your efforts.

It helps people change for the better, grow and develop

As both of you develop and work on becoming better for yourself and your future, this phenomenon is what holds you together as a couple. You are together because you want to support each other in the process of your mutual cultivation of experience. This phenomenon allows you to be happy when your spouse is not around. This means that you can be independent, and each of you has your own interests. This feeling gives you a certain amount of freedom in life. This is the freedom to be oneself, to have personal space, to achieve one’s goals and to feel self-sufficient. Now that we know the symbols of unconditional love, let’s now talk about showing unconditional love.

How to Show Unconditional Love?

The importance of self-love

How to show unconditional love? To better understand what it is, one must, first of all, assume that this is full acceptance of oneself. You should love your neighbor as yourself. It’s that simple. After all, our attitude to ourselves determines the nature of our interactions with the world. If they are complex and entangled, the whole world will be just a crooked mirror for us, where we will see ourselves as unloved and unaccepted. To open yourself up for someone else, you first must open up this heart to yourself, the rest is relatively easy, but self-acceptance is the hardest part of it.

Be mature

An overgrown, immature person is not capable of it. It’s like sitting out all your life in an inflated pool or going to the open sea. Both places have water, but the sensations and scales are incomparable. The ocean terrifies the one who sees nothing but the pool. Therefore, any violations of love are the result of disturbances that have arisen on the path of life in the process of growing up. And if the environment did not get a person acquainted with the sea, a person is unlikely to get used to it, only a vague longing for something unattainable will remain in their heart.

Be strong

And of course, for true love, lots of power is needed. One can easily cross that is familiar to them, but a raging sea of new emotions is a completely different thing. To conquer this raging sea, you need a lot of will, strength, and commitment. But in the end, you will be able to say that your love is unconditional and pure and be quite proud of this achievement.

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