When Should You Say 'I Love You'

19.09.2017

I love you… Sometimes we are confused hearing these words because they are so important to us. So is it worth declaring your love first or waiting for the confession from a partner? And when is it ok to say I love you?

How to know when to say I love you

We get the contradictory advice of when to say I love you from everywhere. For example, you can do it:

  • No sooner than the fifth date.
  • Only after two months of dating.
  • At the moment when you just can’t keep it to yourself anymore.
  • Don’t say it before, during or immediately after having sex.
  • Don’t say it if you are extremely worried.
  • Never say it first and don’t give an answer after hearing a confession until you spend enough time together.

All these examples make it clear how much importance we attach to the moment when we should open our hearts. However, it is obvious that here, as in everything related to the magical state of falling in love, no exact formulas exist. The time that we need for testing the sincerity and willingness to accept each other is very important for a long-term and deep relationship regardless of life circumstances. Therefore, if you to tell your partner about your deep feelings and far-reaching intentions at the very beginning of a relationship, a partner may regard your haste as some carelessness.

However, there can be love at first sight. And if you experience strong and joyful emotions, then why not reveal them? Don’t just run ahead, give or expect promises. You can just enjoy a happy moment. We all need a different time to realize the depth of our feelings and be ready for recognition. In addition, our gender identity also plays a big role. Men, as a rule, declare love earlier and more readily. According to the research, they need about 88 days to say “I love you”, while women need about 124 days. 39% of men declare their feelings during the first month of dating, and only 23% of women are ready to express their feelings so quickly. And when do you say I love you?

Phases of love

how to know when to say I love you Psychologists say that there are stages of love that couples are going through in their relationships. You think it's time to tell your loved one about your feelings but this is so difficult! Find out at what phase you are at the moment and what you need to remember in order to achieve perfect love.

Stage# 1. The stage of euphoria

This stage doesn’t last too long — usually from three to six months. At an early stage of a relationship, we are not aware of any problems, conflicts, and don’t feel the need of changes. It is very important at this stage to start expressing your needs and fears letting your partner do the same — it's just vital! This is a stage when is it too early to say I love you.

Stage#2. The stage of addiction

When is it too soon to say I love you? The second stage is exactly this case. Romantic relations have already reached their highest point. Everything seems ordinary and predictable. Irritation has come. Some character traits of the partner begin to irritate, although the relationship seems rather calm and stable.

Stage# 3. The stage of quarrels

This is a kind of stage of disgust. Here conflicts arise. People begin to actively sort out their relationship at this stage of love. There are a lot of break-ups and divorces during this period. People break up thinking that they are not compatible, that relations with another partner will develop better. Many people divorce at this stage because think that they can find a better life with someone else.

Stage# 4. The stage of patience

At this stage, people begin to understand that it is necessary to be patient in order to settle a conflict. There comes an understanding that there is no need to change people but accept them as they are. At this stage, partners learn to forgive and respect each other. Many people in love go for help to a psychologist at this stage. The period of quarrels is over, and if partners have learned the art of patience, a relationship goes to a new level.

Stage# 5. The stage of respect

This stage of love is very different from the previous ones. If previously people demanded something from each other, wanted attention, now they themselves want to do something pleasant to people they love without demanding gratitude for it. They do it consciously and on their own. People really begin to approach love only at the stage of respect.

Stage# 6. The stage of friendship

Couples have already learned to understand each other from a half-word, quarrels are extremely rare. During this period, partners feel comfortable, have common interests, and appreciate each other. This stage of love can last very long. Usually, this is a stage when a man says I love you.

Stage# 7. The stage of love

How to know when to say I love you? The answer is simple: when a relationship comes to this stage. A couple has passed all the trials of the previous stages of love and received true love in return! At this stage, people achieve the long-awaited harmony in relationships; they know all the advantages and disadvantages of a partner and take care of each other. Not every couple comes to this stage. Love must be earned through patience and forgiveness. This is exactly that stage when you have to say I love you!

The most powerful force in this world is the force of two people united in a single whole. At the last stage, a new level of mutual respect and acceptance is emerging. People don’t hide anything, they know the strengths and weaknesses of each other and love each other. Such love really changes everything. It allows you to forget old grievances, gives self-confidence and helps feel your importance and importance of a person next to you. Don’t forget that love is a choice. And you can choose it today.

How to respond when someone says I love you

Love, as you know, is a multifaceted feeling. For someone, it is light and joyful, for others — unexpected and painful. So, let's start to figure out the rules of behavior in love and how to respond when someone says I love you. How to react to the declaration of love

when do you say I love youUnfortunately, men are somehow not used to receiving the declarations of love from women. And they are lost not knowing how to respond to it. Typically, girls either quickly reciprocate (until a man changed his mind), or react quite inadequately (disappear, for example). But to say “yes” just in order not to offend a girl is not the best variant. You have a risk of living together with an unloved or even unpleasant woman.

Don’t lie responding to confession. It is unlikely that love will fall on your head like snow in the summer. Surely you already noticed the increased attention from her side and made the appropriate conclusions. And now try not to fool her but to answer sincerely.

How to respond if the feelings are mutual

The problem is that the answer to a confession “I love you” may suggest a joint visit to the registry office. But this is not necessary, especially if one of the two is not ready for this. After all, a declaration of love is just an expression of affection and a desire to be together more often. Only that! Therefore, making sure that your feelings are mutual, start communicating more actively, better learn each other and look for something that can unite you (along with your feelings, of course): general activities and hobbies. Find common friends. And if after some time your feelings cool down, then you should take it easy because you can make too many mistakes.

Don’t play in love, if it doesn’t fit your mood. No less deep connection can arise with the passage of time that is necessary to feel true intimacy. If you feel a deep sense, there is no need to hide it only because a girl is not yet ready to respond. When is it too soon to say I love you? It is definitely not this case. Love can develop asymmetrically because this feeling doesn’t live by the laws and rules.

If you tell a girl that she is “the greatest love of your life,” you may just embarrass her. It is obvious that you expect similar recognition from her. If you don’t get it, this doesn’t mean that she doubts her feelings toward you. The statement “You are the love of my life” said at the very beginning of your relationship can’t be easily perceived by a partner who is not ready yet to admit to reciprocal feelings. You may wait for the response to these words much more than to the phrase “I love you”. But it doesn’t matter who makes the confession first, just like who repeats the words of love more often. The true value is only the sincerity of your feelings at the moment. The ability to accept each other's differences and the joy of what you share with a loved one is the life path.

What are the obligations after declaring love?

First of all, it doesn’t mean at all that you have the right to dispose of your Juliet. You only have the opportunity to communicate more closely and that's all. And there shouldn’t be any obligation from your side (and from her as well). Don’t rush to tell everyone that a girl made such confession. It will characterize you as a dishonorable and unreliable person. But it often happens that when a girl “opens”, she starts demanding a kickback saying that now you have to be with her all the time, be gentle, considerate, etc. Of course, it doesn’t look like love. The main thing here is to remember that you don’t have to share her feelings or manifest yours in an unnatural way for you!

How to react if you don’t like a girl

Indeed, it is very difficult to refuse and not to offend a woman in love. And here many men manage to deceive themselves and women. However, sometimes even if they mean “no” but they answer “yes”, it is not because of fear of offending but of fear of losing the only admirer.

Don’t say words in which you are not completely sure in order not to offend a person close to you. However, if a girl is dear to you, let her know about it. But say that you need time to fully understand your feelings.

If you don’t want to say the flow of praises or look at a rejected admirer with a gloomy face, be understanding and honest. Be sure to thank her for showing feelings. Explain that you don’t refuse communication but you can’t answer her feelings. By the way, there are a lot of examples when feelings arise long after the declaration of love! So don’t stop communicating with your admirer. Who knows, maybe you'll feel something for her after a while.

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