Why Do I Still Love My Ex?

07.08.2018

Why Do I Still Love My Ex?

Traditionally, it’s believed that in a relationship a man is more restrained than a woman, he follows the logic and, it seems that in his life there is no place for sentimentality and emotions. Perhaps in most situations, it is. As long as everything goes well. But if there is a question of breaking up with his loved one, then a man can behave in a completely different way.

Why Do I Still Love My Ex?

Have you noticed that you still love your ex-girlfriend sometime after the break-up? Are you constantly tortured by the thoughts "Why can't I move on from my ex? Why does my ex hate me? Why do I keep dreaming about my ex?" In this article, we will tell you why it happens, suggest how to go through this difficult period of life and what to do so that the thought "Why do I still love my ex?" doesn’t bother you anymore.

Why do guys stay in touch with ex-girlfriends

Why do men keep in touch after breaking up? Many people think “Why do I dream about my ex years later?” Psychologists claim that there may be several reasons.

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First and foremost, men feel uncomfortable without a girlfriend, because it turns out that the role of the chosen one in their life is very important. Of course, it's great to be single, but you want the good old care, warmth, tenderness, and coziness. Secondly, as is known, nothing is good or bad except by comparison. A man, having parted with a woman, usually immediately plunges into a new relationship. And often it happens that the ex is more intelligent, equable, cheerful and honest than the current one. Thirdly, men need some time to realize the depth of their own feelings for the ex-girlfriend.

Also, the reason for being in touch with the ex can be banal jealousy of her contacts with new men. Often, representatives of the stronger sex treat former girlfriends as an object that, after a while, still remains their property. Therefore, when a new young man appears in the life of the girl, the ex-boyfriend is ready to win her love again. Statistics confirm that most men after breaking up with the woman still remain interested in her life. Men often become attached to their partners and continue to communicate with them out of habit even after the feelings die away. Psychologists say: if after parting a man keeps in touch with the ex, it doesn’t mean that he is still in love with her. Some men do this not out of idle curiosity, but rather because they are used to know everything about the partner. Such interest in the fate of the ex can last for many years, and even when the man has a new, fairly happy relationship.

Why do I miss my ex?

Many girls think that breaking up with their beloved, the guys behave very calmly and don’t feel anxious at the same time. It’s a mistake to think that men can’t love and that they easily endure quarrels and separations. Scientists say that for a man, a breakup is no less severe than for a woman. The only difference is that most often he experiences it silently, imperceptibly for others. Since childhood, men are taught to be strong, restrained in the manifestation of feelings, and take it easy.

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It’s because of the fact that a man needs to hide his weaknesses, so he is more stressed. And for women, deep emotions and manifestation of excessive emotionality are always considered the norm. It’s the social stereotype that men should always be serious, uncompromising and moderate, forcing women to doubt and wonder whether men fret over the break-up. Contrary to common women's perception, even a strong-willed man of character suffers acutely after the breakup with his beloved. And he often wonders “Why do I miss my ex so much?” To soothe mental pain, men can act as follows:

To go on a binge

This behavior is especially characteristic of the most vulnerable men who don’t want to show their true feelings to other people and prefer to drown grief in wine all alone. There have been cases when longtime hard drinking due to a breakup with the girl led to serious trouble in the life of a man. However, as a rule, after several days of drunkenness, the abandoned man begins to slowly recollect himself and return to normal life.

Lose himself in his work

Often it’s the breakup with a loved one that turns a man into a workaholic. He starts to work for 18 hours a day and doesn’t want to get even a casual relationship, keeping away from women. The work helps the man not only to get distracted from the thoughts about the ex but also fulfill himself as a professional, thereby increasing his self-esteem.

Engage in extreme sports

Mountaineering, parachuting, hang-gliding, or even mixed martial arts - the choice of a particular sport depends on the temperament and courage of a man.

Often change sexual partners

To prove his own relevance, an abandoned man often turns into a real womanizer, spending every night with a new partner.

Start a new relationship

According to statistics, more than 50% of men aren’t ready to create new relationships immediately after breakup. They remain independent about one year after the separation with their girlfriend. But there are also men who can survive the pain of losing their beloved woman only being next to another caring partner.

Most of the men after breaking up with a woman, trying to keep friendly relations with her, can continue to communicate by phone, send holiday greetings, support her if necessary. Most often, this happens when people break up by mutual consent. In some cases, of course, it happens the other way around, when a man tries to break all sorts of ties with an ex and completely wipe her from memory. It happens usually in cases when the girl touched his feelings when he is offended and depressed.

Why am I still in love with my ex?

When you broke up with your girl, you were sure that she would never appear in your life again. It doesn’t matter how bad you separated, but the time passes and you feel the need to be with her again. You can win back the lost love, but how long will such a relationship last?

It often happens that people once again reach out for each other after parting. They think that it was a mistake, they got excited, and now they need to be together again. Why does it happen? Where did all your problems disappear? In fact, when we break up with a loved one and remain alone, then we feel how much we miss them. Insults are forgotten, quarrels no longer seem so terrible, and with light sadness, you begin to recall all the good things that you had. Cherishing yourself with pleasant memories from the past, you begin to think that you still love her, that she is the only one, and you can’t lose her. The thoughts “Why am I obsessed with my ex? Is there a chance to come together?” – always pop into your head.

You cling to these former feelings, even if they bring you suffering, just as alcohol and drug addicts cling to the drug, realizing that they are ruining themselves. Even if at the level of logic you realize that you shouldn’t try to return the girl and that these relationships don’t bring happiness, it isn’t enough. Because at the level of emotions you still want to return to previous relationships, despite the fact that the behavior of the partner clearly doesn’t betray a love for you. Thus, there is ambivalence. You understand everything, but you can’t recover yourself.

Why can’t you do this? Because you don’t know how to control your feelings and get a grip. You have often heard: "Believe your heart, it won’t deceive." But in fact, the feelings are deceptive.

In addition, the feelings for the ex are significantly refreshed by all sorts of fears. It would be more accurate to say that fears and feelings overwhelming you refresh each other, this is a vicious circle. These are the fears of the future, change, loneliness, uncertainty and something unknown.

Fears, including the fear of reality, are a kind of obsessive thoughts. They prevent you from living and being happy. Therefore, it’s important for you to separate yourself from these thoughts, to realize that these fears and reasoning aren’t yours. They came from outside, and you shouldn’t take them. On the contrary, you need to struggle with them.

As one of the great philosophers said, love is an ordinary affection, which is accompanied by positive emotions and certain chemical processes in the human body.

And even if you agree with this statement, it’s still very difficult to understand how to stop loving a girl with whom you have been together for a long time. But there are several ways to help you get rid of this addiction. Stop being in touch

You should cut off the communication with your ex from everyday life. No wonder wise people say, far from eye, far from heart. It’s often difficult to completely exclude a former partner. As not so long ago she was a puzzle in the picture of your world, a part of your everyday life and a spark of leisure. However, even if you have to constantly face the ex at work or study, you need to try not to communicate with her.

Do what you love

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Try to do what you love. Make a list of things that bring you joy. Try it and you will find a passion that completely distracts you from everything. This is the only instant method that allows you to forget the girl in a week.

Wait

To forget the girl you love, you just need to wait until the thoughts and feelings begin to subside. Some people just wait, others continue to live and even look for a new girl. If you want to return your loved one, then try not to run after the girlfriend, but let her go, and at the same time love her. Then if she is conscious and wise, she will get back to you.

Go in for sports

Doing sports helped many guys forget the girl they love. All the love and hatred for the girl, they direct to sports, furthermore achieving great results in it. This is wisely since they don’t destroy love but simply redirect it.

Throw yourself into the work

Find a job where you can give it your all. Gather your love and hate together and start directing these feelings to a new job or hobby. Work in full force every day, seven days a week. This will speed up the process and you will forget the ex and fall in love with your work and your favorite occupation.

Life is too short

And the last thing you need to do to forget about the ex, remember that life isn’t so long to waste precious days on someone who doesn’t appreciate you. Don’t waste your time on unimportant matters or unworthy emotions. Ask yourself a question “Why is my ex so mean to me?” Open your eyes and look around, maybe you have liked someone for a long time, but you were afraid to admit it, dreading to destroy such fragile relations. If not, look closely, maybe some woman, who is nearby, has long been dreaming of becoming closer with you. So mentally thank the ex for the experience, which will save you from mistakes in future relationships. Remember that everything is happening for the best. We hope that our advice will help you. Good luck!

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